Checkout. Anna Sam

      

      CHECKOUT

      A LIFE ON THE TILLS

      ANNA SAM

      Translated by Morag Young

       For my brother, Gwenael. I wish I could have shared this book with you.

       And for all those men and women who have worked on the till.

      Contents

       Title Page Dedication My name is Anna. WELCOME TO THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF RETAIL – AND YOUR DREAM JOB THE TOP 3 QUESTIONS ASKED AT THE TILL AN HAUTE COUTURE FASHION SHOW CASHING UP: THE SEARCH FOR THE MISSING COIN THE JOB INTERVIEW YOURS STATISTICALLY ‘HANG ON A MINUTE, I’M AT THE CHECKOUT!’ ENTERTAINING THE SUPERMARKET I’VE SAVED A PLACE KISSING COUPLES ‘EMBARRASSING’ ITEMS I’M HUNGRY! MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE – A VERITABLE GOLD MINE! THE WONDERFUL LOYALTY CARD IN ALL ITS COMPLICATED SIMPLICITY CLOSING TIME AND OPENING TIME – WHAT FUN! WHAT A COMEDIAN A HEALTHY MIND IN A HEALTHY BODY SIT DOWN IF YOU CAN THOU SHALT NOT STEAL I’M THE BOSS! YOUR CONVEYOR BELT: FRIEND OR FOE? HOW TO HIDE YOUR FORTUNE I’M PAYING OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES CHECKOUT GIRLS: THE FAIRER SEX ‘YOUR TILL IS ON A BREAK’ DO YOU HAVE 10 ITEMS OR LESS? PRIORITY? DID YOU SAY PRIORITY? CAN I SEE SOME ID PLEASE? BLESS YOU! £19.99 PLEASE! MY TILL, MY LOVE GAME OVER DID YOU SAY BAR CODES? STRANGELY STICKY DRUNK CUSTOMERS THERE WILL BE BLOOD! J’ACCUSE CAN YOU GO TO THE NEXT TILL PLEASE? WILL IT SCAN OR WON’T IT? THE SIX STEPS FOR GETTING PRICES ROLL UP, ROLL UP: IT’s SALE TIME THE WEEKEND SHOW THE BIG CHRISTMAS RUSH COUNTDOWN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT MURDER ON THE EIFFEL TOWER THE PÈRE-LACHAISE MYSTERY THE MONTMARTRE INVESTIGATION CHECKOUT A LIFE ON THE TILLS Copyright

       My name is Anna

      My name is Anna. I’m twenty-eight years old with a degree in literature and a life story that is both completely ordinary and a little bit unusual. I’ve worked for eight years in a supermarket. I started out there just to fund my studies and to have some financial independence. But when I couldn’t find any work using my degree, I stayed on and became that stalwart of modern life, a checkout girl.

      The till. Not a great conversationalist, unless you count the beeps it gives when you scan the produce. As a result of listening to that robotic noise I felt frankly that I was becoming a little like a robot myself. The fleeting interaction with the customers was not enough to make me feel human. Happily though, contact with my colleagues did just that.

      One day I decided to write about my working life and record the little incidents that fill the day of a checkout girl. Suddenly I was looking differently at the customers filing past my till. I was seeing the world of retail with new eyes and discovering that it was a lot more varied than I had thought. There are the easy customers and the more challenging ones. Rich ones, poor ones. Nervous customers, boastful customers. Customers who treat you as if you were invisible and customers who say hello. The ones who are always champing at the bit for the store to open, and the ones who always come just as the store is closing. There are customers who flirt with you and customers who insult you. Who says nothing happens in the life of a cashier?

      I wanted to share my experiences. I have put together here a few of my stories, the ones that affected me most. So it’s time to take your trolley and come into the supermarket. Look, the shutters are already going up!

      Happy shopping!

       WELCOME TO THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF RETAIL – AND YOUR DREAM JOB

      Congratulations! You’ve finally managed to get an interview and actually been hired. Welcome to the retail family. You are now a checkout girl … sorry, checkout operator. That feels much more important, doesn’t it?

      The interview only lasted a couple of minutes, long enough for you to repeat what’s already on your CV and give them your bank details. No IQ tests? Or a bit of mental arithmetic? Come off it – you’ll be suggesting they analyse your handwriting next. You’re going to work on the till, you know, not being called to the Bar.

      It’s only your first day – but you still have to prove your worth. So let’s get cracking, time for training. Don’t worry though – an ‘old hand’ will take you under her wing for at least, I don’t know, a quarter of an hour? A morning if you’re lucky. Or two days if your manager is nice. There are some nice managers, I promise. It’s just the luck of the draw.

      Let’s start with a tour of the store. It won’t take long (and besides there are other things to be getting