You Want to Do What?: Instant answers to your parenting dilemmas. Karen Sullivan

already sick or upset child who you know will not settle.

      

Never leave a babysitter alone with several children for long periods of time.

      

Always return home as close to the time you agreed with your babysitter as you can. If you are going to be late, inform the babysitter, if possible.

      

Talk to your babysitter about the child’s progress and give him or her up-to-date information; this is especially important if the sitter does not see your child regularly.

      

If you feel unhappy about any aspect of the care of your child, talk it over with the babysitter.

      Are the guidelines different if the babysitter is minding his or her own siblings?

      At present, there are no guidelines for babysitting whatsoever, although most children’s charities, including the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC), do not recommend that anyone under the age of sixteen be left in sole charge of other children, including siblings. So, in a nutshell, there is nothing to stop you from asking older children to babysit younger siblings, no matter what their age.

      On a personal note, my two oldest children watched their baby/toddler brother from the age of fourteen; however, they usually did it together, we were never more than 20 minutes away, and our maximum time away from the home was no more than four hours. All enjoyed the experience, particularly when the older ones were given a little extra money for their efforts. I looked after my younger siblings and neighbours’ children from the age of twelve and took the responsibility seriously.

      What must a babysitter be prepared for?

      However, no matter what the age of the older siblings, they must be prepared for any eventuality, and this applies to all babysitters.

      

They must be reminded of the responsibility and the importance of diligence. A toddler can stick a finger in a socket, get his hands on a sharp object or ingest a poisonous substance in a few seconds’ flat. Babysitters must keep an eye on them at all times.

      

Babysitters should be able to lock and unlock doors and windows, and operate the alarm system.

      

Babysitters should not answer the door unless they know the person well, and should never tell anyone on the telephone that they are home alone.

      

They need to know how to contact the Emergency Services, and there should be a list of important numbers by the telephone, including the doctor, your mobile, the poison control centre, and a neighbour or two.

      

They should know what to do if there is a power cut (torches are probably safer than candles in the hands of children; make sure they know where they are), a flood or a fire.

      

Babysitters should know how to administer basic first aid, if a child chokes, for example, or cuts himself. Leave a first-aid kit in an agreed place.

      

Discuss what is acceptable. Can your child have a friend round? Are there any forbidden activities (cooking, lighting the fire, drinking alcohol, for example)? Can they visit the park or the shops? Can they bathe a younger sibling?

      

Make sure there is always someone who can act as a back-up in your absence. Sometimes children just need a little reassurance that they are doing the right thing or that fears are unjustified. Making an agreement with nearby parents who have children of similar age to act as advisor when the other is out might be useful.

      My 14-year-old daughter is keen to earn money babysitting and I’m nervous about the responsibility she is taking on. Is she old enough? How can I prepare her?

      If your daughter is mature and practical, it could be an ideal job. She needs to be aware that it isn’t just a ‘fun’ or ‘easy’ moneymaking opportunity, and that looking after children can be hard work, tiring and difficult (even for seasoned adults). She must also know that it is often lonely work and a big responsibility. Although she cannot be held legally liable for accidents that occur while she is caring for other children (this remains a parent’s responsibility until their sitter is sixteen years old), it can be distressing and potentially damaging to feel responsible when something goes wrong.

      Are there any courses?

      It’s worth arranging for your child to take a babysitting course, such as that offered by the Red Cross (see page), so that she feels confident enough to deal with eventualities. Young children can become ill and are liable to accidents and mishaps, and your daughter will need to know how to cope with emergencies. Take the time, too, to talk through basic safety in the home, and help her to identify potential risks.

      For the first few occasions, you may wish to be available to answer questions or to provide back-up if your daughter is uncertain.

      IS YOUR CHILD MATURE ENOUGH TO BE LEFT ALONE TO BABYSIT?

      If you are trying to assess your child’s readiness to be at home alone, discuss the possibility with him or her and listen to your child’s reactions. Do they look forward to the idea or are they hesitant about it? It is also helpful if you observe reactions to daily situations: do they rely on you to plan their every minute or do they enjoy planning their own time? Do they panic when the unexpected happens? Do they relish a little freedom and like responsibility? Are they familiar with emergency procedures, for example, in the event of a break-in, fire, flood or even a power failure?

      What’s the maximum length of time a child should be allowed to babysit?

      While there are clear guidelines for children in paid employment (such as not working after 7 pm on a school night, or for more than two hours during term-time; see page), this does not extend to babysitting. Common sense, therefore, must prevail.

      A young teenager babysitting very young children will need a break – so three or four hours should really be the maximum for any babysitter under the age of fourteen or fifteen. After the age of sixteen, longer hours are acceptable, but consider the fact that looking after children (particularly if they are not your own) can be tiring and frustrating. If you can arrange for a little cover so that your sitter can take a break, or if you know your child will have a nap or relax in front of a DVD or television programme for an hour or so, giving the sitter some breathing space, then longer periods are acceptable. However, be realistic about what is achievable and the limits to endurance. If a child goes to bed early, a longer evening stint is acceptable, and if a child regularly sleeps through the night, your sitter is over sixteen years old and comfortable with the idea, then overnight babysitting may be OK too.

      Can siblings babysit younger siblings overnight?

      The NSPCC does not recommend that any child under the age of sixteen babysit (which is certainly open to personal circumstances and discretion), but it also suggest that no child be left alone overnight until he or she is sixteen. On this basis, if your elder child is over sixteen, is comfortable with the idea of being left alone overnight with his or her sibling, and is aware of how to deal with emergencies, it’s certainly acceptable. One recent study found that 91 per cent of those polled thought that fourteen was old enough to be left