You Want to Do What?: Instant answers to your parenting dilemmas. Karen Sullivan

Talk about how they may feel or what they may do under pressure – whether it is deciding what they do if they are offered a drink, or if a friend offers them a lift home after drinking.

      

Encourage your child to stick to lower-strength brands and not to drink too quickly.

      

Agree rules on parties and be around if your child has a party at home.

      

Make sure your child has a way of getting home safely at night.

      

Be wary of late-night changes of plan (staying at a friend’s at the last minute) – chances are your child is hiding something. Try to avoid this type of secretiveness.

      

Make them aware of the danger of drink-spiking and not putting themselves in vulnerable situations. Encourage your children and their friends to look out for each other.

      

Explore how alcohol affects people in different ways, and how it can make some people aggressive and up for a fight. Talk through ways of keeping safe and walking away from trouble.

      

Encourage your teenager to make sensible choices, by stressing the health risks involved rather than laying down the law or giving ultimatums.

Armed forces

      When can my son join the Army?

      The UK’s armed forces (the Army, Royal Navy, Royal Air Force and Royal Marines) recruit school leavers from the age of sixteen, and they can be used on operations from the age of seventeen, the limit under current international conventions. You can apply to join the Royal Navy at fifteen years and nine months. Entry age and qualifications differ according to the branch of the service your child wishes to join. For example, your child can join any of the armed forces at sixteen, but if he or she wishes to join as an officer, they usually have to wait another year or so – seventeen and six months for the Air Force, and seventeen and nine months for the Army.

      The armed forces can offer a multitude of career opportunities for young people, and not all of it involves work on the front lines. Nevertheless, it does entail a commitment, and your child must be prepared for some fairly hard graft and to show respect for authority if he or she wishes to join. All of the armed forces have a minimum period of service before you are allowed to leave. For example, if your son or daughter joins the army and doesn’t like it, they can’t leave within the first 28 days. After this, they can leave on 28 days’ notice at any time during the first six months (or if over the age of eighteen, during the first three months). Thereafter, your son or daughter must serve four years.

      What is the Territorial Army?

      A good way to experience the Army without making a full commitment is to join the Territorial Army (TA), which is a reserve force of civilians who undertake soldier training and fulfil operational support on a part-time basis.

      For more information on what’s involved and the various careers available, visit www.armyjobs.mod.uk or ring 0845 7300 111.

      WHAT IS THE ARMY CADET FORCE (ACF)?

      The ACF is a 40,000 strong organisation designed to give young people of both sexes (between the ages of thirteen and eighteen), a taste of what the Army can offer. It has bases all over the UK and, a little like the Scout and Guide Associations, is run by volunteer instructors.

      Can my son join the Army without my permission?

      Your son will need permission to join any part of the armed forces, including those that are part-time and/or volunteer, until he is eighteen. At this age, he can join anything without parental consent.

Babysitting

      How old should a child be to babysit other children?

      According to the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents, no one under the age of sixteen should be left to care for an infant or young child. However, there’s no current legislation that gives a minimum age for babysitters.

      Your babysitter should be someone you trust to handle any emergency or who will at least know whom to call and what procedures to follow. Parents should assess carefully a babysitter under the age of sixteen. In some circumstances, parents can be prosecuted if any harm comes to their child while a babysitter under sixteen years old is supervising; no child under sixteen years old can be held responsible for children in their care. This changes dramatically over the age of sixteen, however, when there is a full legal duty of care.

      The British Red Cross runs babysitting courses for teenagers. Children must be over the age of fourteen in order to attend. You can find out more about these courses from its website at www.redcross.org.uk. If you use a babysitter regularly, it might be worth paying for this training.

      WHAT SHOULD I DO IF MY BABYSITTER IS UNDER SIXTEEN YEARS OLD?

      The Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents (RoSPA) offers the following advice for parents who plan to leave a child with someone under the age of sixteen.

      

You must be prepared to take some responsibility for anything that should go wrong in your absence. You must also be prepared to take responsibility for the care and safety of your babysitter, including making arrangements for the sitter’s safe return home. Never let a young babysitter travel home alone late at night.

      

You need to know that your babysitter is a competent person.

      

Define the qualities you are looking for in a good babysitter: for example, responsible, mature, reliable, honest, capable, tolerant, patient, kind but firm, has experience with young children, has first aid experience, etc.

      

Make sure the babysitter knows how and when to call the Emergency Services if it should become necessary.

      

Encourage your babysitter to visit your home and get to know the child or children who will be left in his or her care. It will also help the babysitter understand the particular household and the children’s day-time and night-time routines.

      

Give an honest opinion when your babysitter asks to have friends to sit with them (same sex or opposite sex). Use common sense and remember that babysitting can be a lonely business.

      

Make adequate preparations for your babysitter not only in terms of refreshments but also by giving him or her enough information to cover all eventualities. Make sure your sitter knows where everything is.

      

Never take advantage of a babysitter by