You Want to Do What?: Instant answers to your parenting dilemmas. Karen Sullivan

these professionals may think it would be in the young person’s best interests to have some extra help from a social worker. In Northern Ireland this applies to young people under the age of fourteen. However, despite the fact that sex under the age of sixteen is illegal, girls can still have an abortion under this age without parental consent, and in full confidence.

      Is abortion legal in Northern Ireland?

      Abortion is legal in Northern Ireland in exceptional circumstances, but current guidance is unclear and many women in Northern Ireland find it difficult to obtain an abortion unless they travel to England.

      Will her GP let me know if my daughter has a termination?

      Your daughter has a right to full confidentiality. Even her GP may not be notified if she expresses a wish that the GP is not informed. You may, in fact, be the last person to know.

      Most doctors do encourage young girls to discuss the matter with their parents – if only because the girl concerned needs to make an informed choice and may not realise that there are options within a supportive family unit. However, no one can force your daughter to tell you anything.

      The most important thing any parent can do is to keep open the channels of communication with their daughters, to ensure that any problems can be successfully aired, without recrimination or blame. Your daughter will not involve you in situations where she thinks that she may be punished, or lose your love and acceptance. Termination is a traumatic, distressing intervention for many girls, and without support, their emotional health can be dramatically affected. What’s more, there is a medical risk to abortion procedures, and girls need to have follow-up treatment and may also require a course of antibiotics. This will need to be supervised, particularly in younger girls.

      Is the situation the same in the US?

      Only two states – Connecticut and Maine – and the District of Columbia have laws that allow girls under the age of eighteen to obtain an abortion on her own. In contrast, 31 states have laws that require the involvement of at least one parent in their daughter’s abortion decision; in 16 of these states, a minor must have the consent of one or both parents, and in the other 15 states, one or both parents must be notified prior to the abortion.

      Almost all provide a confidential alternative to parental involvement in the form of a judicial bypass, in which a minor may obtain authorisation for an abortion from a judge without informing her parents.

      Because terminating an unplanned pregnancy can have a significant long-term impact on a woman’s psychological and emotional well-being, US legislators believe that parental guidance is especially important. Strangely, however, more than half of the states that require parental involvement for abortion permit a pregnant minor to make the decision to continue her pregnancy and to consent to antenatal care and delivery without consulting a parent. In addition, states appear to consider a minor who is a parent to be fully competent to make major decisions affecting the health and future of his or her child, even though many of these same states require an under-age girl to involve her parents if she decides to terminate her pregnancy!

      How old does a girl need to be to have a termination?

      In England, Wales and Scotland a woman of any age can have an abortion (termination). In Jersey, abortion is only legal up to twelve weeks. She has no legal obligation to consult with her family or even the father of the unborn baby.

      What is the situation in Europe?

      In many European countries, girls must be sixteen years old to have an abortion. What’s more, the gestational age limit (the ‘age’ of the pregnancy) is twelve weeks, meaning that anyone under the age of sixteen and over twelve weeks’ pregnant will not be granted access to the procedure. Almost all countries in the EU require parental consent and a doctor’s approval.

      What about Ireland?

      In Ireland abortion is banned under most circumstances. However, the law does allow pregnant women to receive counselling and information about all their options. Girls then have a legal right to leave Ireland in order to have an abortion. Most women travel to England where it is legal to have an abortion up to 24 weeks into the pregnancy.

      Is my daughter old enough to choose termination?

      Legally, any girl in England, Wales and Scotland can have an abortion without her parents’ consent or approval, providing that doctors believe she has a full understanding of the decision, and that it would be in her best interests to do so.

      However, if a girl under the age of sixteen does not want an abortion she cannot be forced to have one. In other words, the choice is your daughter’s alone, and she does not need to consult anyone apart from a doctor or clinic.

      Is counselling offered beforehand?

      In almost all cases, counselling is offered before abortion. This is, however, not obligatory. Counselling normally involves discussing the options open to the girl, as well as ensuring that she has all the information she needs to make an informed choice. Counselling is confidential and non-judgmental, and simply involves helping a young woman to reach a decision in a supportive environment.

      While abortion is a personal choice, it is often affected by factors outside a girl’s control – for example, her family set-up, her relationship with her parents, finances, her relationship with the father, her age, her schooling, her aspirations, housing and emotions. It is undoubtedly true that few girls under the age of sixteen would have the emotional maturity to balance these factors and make a sound judgement. For this reason, it’s hugely important that parents are involved in the decision-making process.

      Parents of girls should make it clear from early on that although pregnancy and under-aged sex is not advisable, you do wish to be involved if the situation arises.

      TALKING TO GIRLS ABOUT ABORTION

      The single most important thing you can do for your daughter is to listen. Abortion is not an easy decision to make at any age, and a young woman needs support. If you show displeasure or disappointment, or become upset or angry, your daughter will likely avoid confiding in you in future. The decision to have an abortion has many elements, but ultimately it is your daughter’s decision, and she needs to think it through.

      What does my daughter have to consider?

      There are many considerations – finances, education, living arrangements, her relationship with the father are all important. Some girls are idealistic and think having a baby will be fun and games without stopping to consider the reality of being responsible for another human being for the rest of that child’s life. Social life will be curtailed, and education will also be affected. Many young mothers go on to complete degrees or learn a trade, but it isn’t an easy option. Having a baby puts strain on even the strongest relationships, and this is significant if your daughter wants her child to grow up with a father around.

      Can I object on moral grounds?

      For moral, ethical or religious reasons, you may object to abortion; however, while it is important to put your views across in a calm and rational way, and to discuss them, it is important to remember that your daughter is the primary decision-maker and she has the right to choose what is best for her.

      At least one in four women will have had an abortion by the age of forty-five and it is a safe procedure in almost all cases. Far fewer women under the age of sixteen have abortions than women over the age of forty. Studies show that very few girls and women use abortion as a form of contraception.

      Does having an abortion lead to psychological problems?

      Several studies have shown that having an abortion does not lead to psychological problems. Although women may regret having to have an abortion the vast majority find that they have no emotional problems after it. A small number – about three per cent – have long-term feelings of guilt and some of this number feel that the abortion was a mistake. But for these women the unwanted pregnancy was usually one of many problems in their lives, and these problems continued after the abortion. There is some evidence to suggest that for most of these women not having the abortion would not have improved their situation or might