Intertwined Fates. Ariana Bazhenova

about something and wanted it very much, it literally immediately came to life. At first, this happened beyond my control, but soon I caught the pattern and began to try to manage this process.

      About a year of conscious training passed, and I began to deliberately use this gift. And this time, as soon as I came to the company, I realized that I did not want to do routine work. But how can I tell my superiors about this, having neither the skills nor the experience? And I just started to think about how much I wanted to be given a more important task and given the opportunity to show myself to my colleagues and share my knowledge with them. My intuition told me that this would happen very soon, but I stubbornly continued to think about the picture in my head of me standing in front of rows of employees, and they listening to me attentively.

      And then reality gave in – and the picture in my head became reality, albeit not as quickly as it usually happened with my smaller desires. Does such a gift make life easier? Yes, but it is not just a tool, but a way of living, for which the universe imposes special responsibility – after all, reality and the lives of other people largely depended on my thoughts.

      I understood the gravity of my role, and I was not drawn to doing something that would harm others. But there was one «but». I could not stop thinking about Lev. Trying to distract myself, doing household or work chores, I mentally slipped into bright and warm pictures every now and then: here we are spinning in a dance to a song on the radio, here we are performing together in front of an audience, and here we are drinking coffee in peace and quiet, or looking at the pond from the window of a cozy house… «What nonsense, stop it!» I pulled myself up every time, but the thoughts stubbornly escaped the control of the grip of control, and I stopped trying to hold them. For some reason, Lev seemed strangely familiar and close to me, and I desperately wanted to see him nearby, but I did not understand how this could be. The subconscious knew something that I did not. A couple of days later, my colleagues and I, as usual, laughing heartily and discussing the latest news from the company and the space industry, went to the cafeteria for lunch. «I’ll have rice with chicken, thank you,» I nodded at the counter, putting my plate on the tray.

      Our line at the counter in the room filled with noise and hubbub of people was already coming to an end. I reached for the cutlery. And suddenly I felt a heavy, insistent gaze on me.

      I turned around and saw brown eyes staring up at me, filled with… anger, fear, rejection? It was as if the woman was trying to poison me with her gaze, to put into it all the destructive power that a person can have inside, but as if she knew in advance that she was not capable of it. Behind that gaze was hiding a small wounded child, trying to convince me through intimidation that he himself was not afraid. He was broken by my suddenly appearing cold indifference.

      Having carefully examined her face, I turned away, took the tray and silently walked to the other end of the canteen.

      I knew who it was. Christina. Lev’s wife. I didn’t ask myself then what could be the reason for her angry look, but I caught something vaguely familiar in it. But why would she look like that? Could she have a premonition of something, or simply see me as a potential rival? It’s stupid – the company is full of beautiful young girls. She can’t see right through my thoughts about her husband, can she? Apparently, it’s not for nothing that they talk about the power of women’s intuition.

      «She probably knows and feels something too. Her look is like the look of an animal trying to drive away a threat, having seen it from afar. So early? Does she know something?» I worriedly noted to myself, feeling that the mysterious situation was only gaining momentum. There was a distinct feeling in the air that something was about to happen, like the calm before a storm.

      And a week later, Eva Schwein announced to us the updated lineup of speakers for our project. Among the names that were still unfamiliar to me, I noticed the very same one – Lev Aleksandrovich. This was not surprising, considering that he is involved in almost all projects. But a wave of goosebumps ran down my spine from the realization that a face-to-face meeting was inevitable.

      I practically heard how reality creaked, changing direction and giving in to my thoughts about him, which involuntarily swirled around in my head every day. From the premonition of imminent changes, my legs began to buckle slightly.

      There were so many things I wanted to do when I met him face to face: talk, casually, about everything in the world – but at the same time, I wanted to hide, turn away and have nothing to do with him. Just in case. So as not to get burned again. When you get hurt – neither psychology nor magic can save you.

      – Oh, I’m a little worried. I don’t even know how I’ll look Lev in the eye when we work on the same project, – I shared with a colleague, with whom we had already become friends, when we were leaving the checkpoint and walking along a dense row of cars in the parking lot, enjoying the fresh November air and the crimson sunset sky.

      – How? Until now? – she smiled in surprise.

      Until now. It turned out that a month and a half is not a period at all, it’s a short moment. And I will look him in the eye boldly, with a challenge, with pleasure, tenderness, passion – but not now. And when? I knew that these moments would come, but I couldn’t say how soon.

      «I can’t explain to you why, but my intuition tells me that our story with him is just beginning. You know, sometimes I see the future,» I admitted to her with a soft, almost apologetic smile. «The only question is how soon it will happen. Even before moving to St. Petersburg, I had the same vague picture before my eyes – I meet my man at work, when we are working together on some project. He is bent over a piece of paper and is writing something intently. He is wearing a white coat, he has dark hair and glasses. Only it’s all so blurry…

      I stopped mid-sentence, fell silent in fear, worried that I had blurted out too much. This was my reality and picture of the world, but a rather specific one, and the people I work with could misunderstand me.

      Maybe that same man from the vision is Leo? There was still a fresh, painful scar in my soul from how we had played this game with glances and smiles, fleeting jokes for so long, and then he had simply ignored me and my attempt to make a real step towards rapprochement, never answering my letter.

      «So I will ignore him too, no more strange glances!» I told myself sternly, realizing that I would change my mind as soon as we came face to face.

      When that day came, I tried to look unperturbed. Usually this was not a difficult task, but next to Lev something thawed in me, and I did not recognize myself. That morning, when the first meeting of the project participants was to take place, I sat for a couple of minutes in silence, collecting my thoughts. Then, with slightly trembling hands, I took the notebook and slowly headed towards our spacious conference room with a long glass table, from which a postcard view of the long rows of rusty St. Petersburg roofs stretching beyond the horizon opened up.

      Anticipating the meeting, from which my solar plexus was slightly twisted, I put on an elegant black dress, adorned my fingers with neat rings with pearls. My colleague made two tight braids, slightly pressing on her head – but these inconveniences seemed nonsense.

      I went into the conference room, timidly sat down opposite Lev at the long glass table and involuntarily glanced at him. «How handsome he is today in his business suit, how sincerely and brightly he smiles on this dark November morning! But I can no longer show my sympathy,» I thought, barely tearing my eyes away from him.

      But somewhere nearby, along these corridors, his wife is walking, already sensing danger, recognizing in me the figure of a long-forgotten enemy and incinerating me with her gaze. How can this be?

      I shook my head slightly, driving away the memories of the look in her eyes, the same brown as mine. And as if by chance, I turned away, showing Lev an elegant profile, which one artist several years ago compared to an antique statue. I pretended that I was absorbed