Intertwined Fates. Ariana Bazhenova

of desire.

      I could not help myself – I collected the scant and brief moments of his attention to my person like pieces of a puzzle. I could only sense what kind of picture I was collecting – a picture of spiritual attachment, trust, cooperation, kinship of souls and even passion – but to see all its pieces of the puzzle seemed an unrealistic task to me. Until the silent glances and polite nods in the hall of the administration and near the smoking room pulled towards the declared picture, and I kept asking myself the question – am I going crazy and is it time for me to stop?

      Will a relationship with a married man lead to tragedy and broken hearts? But for some reason I could not stop – as if I was sitting behind the wheel of a car that had already picked up tremendous speed, and all that was left was to carefully watch the road. A few days later, my colleagues and I were late and left the checkpoint after most of the employees had already left, and a crowd of four of us walked to the car. The sun was shining brightly, the Friday workday was behind us, and an evening corporate party at the bowling alley awaited us – a reason to relax, fool around, and get to know each other better. I sat in the front seat of the car, looked up, and with a gasp saw Lev near the empty checkpoint: he was standing alone, in his elegant gray coat and glasses, gracefully leaning on a long umbrella, and smoking. My heart sank slightly, and I involuntarily leaned forward. He always smoked alone, away from everyone else, silently, and it was clear from his expressive brown eyes that he was deep in thought. My heart was flooded with sympathy: why do you, so smart, open, bright and charismatic like the sun, so often close yourself off and stand alone?..

      Now I was looking at him from behind the slightly dusty windshield with a smile on my face. Our car was parked a little further away from the checkpoint, but I saw how he was looking at us with interest in return. At us? Or at me?

      We started moving and slowly drove past: I continued to look at him, he calmly, but with slight interest, looked at me point-blank – our open play of glances continued, causing waves of goosebumps. Finally, we turned onto the highway and drove away to burst straight into a promising Friday evening. And I added another small puzzle to the overall picture, again feeling the heat in my solar plexus.

      My colleagues and I reached the bowling alley, took our seats and ordered a glass of beer. Still feeling a bit awkward in front of my new colleagues, I smiled and took a sip of the cold, bitter drink – after a couple of minutes, my body relaxed, and I leaned back in my chair, smiling cautiously and listening to the conversation.

      – How do you like Eva Schwein, our marketing director? Our boss. She was at the internship defense, – one of the girls turned to me.

      I remembered her – a stately, tall woman with long blond hair, sitting at the jury table. She watched the interns closely, squinting, from behind her round glasses and made notes in a notebook, occasionally inserting comments. A German accent was clearly audible.

      – I can’t judge yet. But it seems to me that she knows her business, – I shrugged. – I respect professionalism in people.

      – You’ll soon become a professional yourself, – my friend sitting next to me patted me on the shoulder encouragingly. – I saw how skillfully you analyze the market and look for advertising sites. This is definitely your thing!

      I was a little embarrassed and lowered my head – it was difficult to evaluate myself in a business I had never done before, but the words of experienced colleagues echoed in my chest with a pleasant warmth.

      – True, it is difficult to judge Eva Schwein unequivocally, – one of the girls continued after a little hesitation. I raised my head and looked questioningly into her bright blue eyes. – Everyone knows the story of Marina Voikova.

      I leaned forward with interest and nodded. She took a sip and continued – her slightly faster speech showed her excitement at the conversation on this topic.

      – Marina worked in our department, she is now on maternity leave. And she met her husband, Nikita Voikov, in a very interesting way. One fine day, Eva Schwein called her good friend, the operations director, and brought up the fact that she had a very nice girl in her department – Marina, but she was not married.

      Suddenly I felt a burning interest in this story – the situation of this Marina, whom I had never seen in my life, for some reason seemed close to me.

      – And what happened next? – I drained my glass in one gulp out of mild excitement.

      – Together, they organized a business trip for them and Nikita Voikov, a technologist, to Chile, where we have a subsidiary company. They really did start a romance there, and now they got married. Now Marina is babysitting their child.

      I didn’t even notice how I finally relaxed. My lips stretched into a wide, sincere smile. My colleagues trusted me and told me this ambiguous story that could cast a shadow on our boss.

      – What’s wrong with that? They helped to unite hearts. Since they were both free…

      – Kira. Nikita was married, he had a child with his ex-wife. He got divorced, and the next day he and Marina had a wedding.

      The cold gaze of the icy-blue eyes of the storyteller caught on me, waiting for a reaction. What should I feel, how should I respond? Condemn them and Eva Schwein? But, contrary to expectations, hope blossomed inside me – it meant that everything in this life was possible. Lev’s interested look, which he constantly cast at me at work, appeared before my eyes, making everything inside me turn over.

      «An unusual story,» was all I could squeeze out.

      «I find this matchmaking disgusting. And the operations director later mentioned how ashamed she was that she was dragged into this story,» the colleague answered her own silent question with poorly concealed disgust.

      I lowered my gaze to hide my interest and hope, and nodded towards the game track.

      «Maybe we should start playing?» I suggested to my colleagues.

      Today I learned something very important for myself.

      I have never spoken to Eva Schwein in my life – but maybe she will help me one day?

      ***

      The alarm clock easily pulled me out of my sleep. I opened my eyes and smiled – 5 am. A cloudless sky and a new day were being born outside the window. By this time, the heat and hunger that came to me at night when I had visions of Leo had become quite noticeable – something was gnawing and burning me from the inside, not letting me fall asleep, literally forcing me to take some step… but what?

      Today, however, I slept soundly, and now my soul was ringing with lightness – from the knowledge that something important was about to happen on this warm September day. Besides, today is my birthday! I began to get ready, enthusiastically fluttering around my small, stylishly furnished light studio. Half an hour later, I exhaled contentedly and went to the mirror.

      An elegant girl looked at me with glowing hazel eyes from under thick eyelashes. I tucked a light wavy lock of hair, still hot from the curling iron, behind my ear, put on hairpins and picked up the bags with cakes and wine standing in the hallway. Might as well dress up – a birthday only happens once a year!

      A picture flashed through my head – me, a fragile girl in high heels, standing near the checkpoint with bags, and then Lev appears, and, like a true gentleman (which I had no doubt about!), gallantly offers to help me carry them to the office. «It’s 7.20 now, by the time we get there it will be 7.45, and at this time he’s just smoking near the checkpoint before work. He can’t help but smoke. And, like a true gentleman, he can’t help but offer his help to me – especially since there’s already a special connection between us, I saw it then, in his eyes… So, it’s decided,» I thought, gripped by fever and only vaguely aware of the naivety of my assumptions.

      I jumped