Intertwined Fates. Ariana Bazhenova

came blind anger and resentment – why is he not answering my letter? This is an important work issue! And how can he ignore me so easily after I made up my mind and, despite my fear, took a bold first step towards him, after our glances? I came home, collapsed exhausted on the bed and wiped away a tear. The visions and the heat still came, but they had lost their power for a while, so I could sleep peacefully at night.

      «He decided not to even answer the letter or pay attention to me,» I whispered into the empty room, but then pulled myself up, forcing myself to stop crying. «It’s probably for the best. I don’t need problems at work because of him…» The picture of puzzles, random moments and glances that I had been carefully collecting for these months was at risk of being unfinished and pushed to the attic. «It’s all nonsense, Kira, leave your idea. It won’t lead to anything, he already has a wife. You’re late,» I wearily asked myself and, closing my eyes, immediately fell into the darkness. Today, for the first time in several months, the strange heat receded, and my sleep was calm and deep.

      Chapter 3. A Twist of Fate

      It was sultry from blazing light

      And his every glance – like a flame.

      I only started: that is right.

      Me – only this one can tame.

      He bent, – in a casual, low tone…

      The blood sharply left my hot face.

      Let love stop – like a tombstone —

      My life’s even, measured pace.

      – Akhmatova. Turmoil. 19133

      I threw on a terry robe, ran my hand through my heavy wet hair, took a cup of coffee and a sandwich in my hand, and walked out of the house onto the porch, decorated with cut tree trunks. I was greeted by the calm morning silence and fresh air, literally oozing with moisture. A spacious pale green meadow stretched out before my eyes, and in the distance the horizon was outlined by an even row of dark emerald, almost black pines. I went down, and the colorless grass licked my wet feet with cold dew. The first sip of coffee – and I dissolved in the morning silence of the northern Karelian nature, occasionally cut through by the cries of some bird. This enchanting picture was hidden from others, no people drove here. I ran away here for the weekend, far from the big city, to forget for a while and be alone. It was mid-October outside. A month and a half had passed since I tried to establish contact with Lev, the man from my dreams, and got unpleasantly burned when I didn’t receive a response to my letter either the next day or the week after.

      «This is all stupid. It’s time to leave this idea and move on,» I told myself, but an unresolved question hung in my soul, a persistent feeling that the story was just beginning. But I tried to escape from my feelings. Today, in a spacious wooden house rented for the weekend, I slept especially well. I hadn’t thought about this before – it was boring to go somewhere alone for the weekend, but now, headlong, I tried to escape from my feelings and disappointment in Lev.

      Maybe he’s not so wonderful?

      ***

      The enchanting northern nature of Karelia was left far behind, and the workday routine inevitably pulled us into its flow. In the closed area in the center of St. Petersburg, behind a high fence with barbed wire, an interesting life was in full swing – and often our marketing department organized interesting events together with the HR department.

      In these days of late autumn, I met her face to face for the first time – our boss from top management, Eva Schwein. Many were afraid of her – her mood and character, changeable like water, powerful and scorching like fire, hard as steel. But in me it aroused sympathy and sometimes admiration – at first glance it was clear that you can learn a lot from her, and we both put common sense above momentary likes and dislikes.

      In these cold October days, there was a discussion about the launch of a new project – a series of trainings for employees. It immediately piqued my interest – after all, it was mostly psychology, in which I had a bachelor’s degree, and I continued to deepen my knowledge to this day. But since my work experience was close to zero, I was sure that participation in this project would pass me by, and I would calmly continue to sit in my corner and gain wisdom and wisdom after the internship was over. For example, writing drafts of content plans or advertising posts for our company’s social networks. Tuesday came, and Eva Schwein called the entire department, six of us, into her office. From the excited tone of my colleagues, I realized that this was hardly a good omen. We silently climbed the snow-white staircase, finished to look like marble, and the sweetish-sterile smell of cleaning products, which were used to polish the corridors of the administration until they shined, hit our noses. Having entered the office and closed the heavy door behind us, we sat down around a long table. Dozens of honorary diplomas, letters of thanks, and a retro-style map of Chile, where our corporation’s subsidiary was located, looked down at us from the walls. I involuntarily sank into my chair.

      – Why are you so pale? – a colleague whispered barely audibly in my ear.

      I shook my head and blinked slowly. The world, narrowed to the size of the office, swam slightly before my eyes. Perhaps now there will be questions that I do not yet understand and cannot fully answer. And ignorance is no excuse, right?

      – Well, tell me, what have you done for our project? – Eva Schwein asked in a calm voice that did not bode well.

      I gradually began to get used to her accent. She sat relaxed in a high chair upholstered in white leather, but you should not be deceived by her mood – at any second she could change her mercy to anger and bring it down on us or any other person. Her strong figure, dressed in a heavy dark jacket, literally pressed with authority. Her long blond hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, a few strands had come loose and fallen over her glasses. Her brown eyes were studying us tenaciously from behind round lenses.

      After her question, a timid discussion of the developments began – everyone was afraid to say something wrong and displease her, bringing down on themselves a hot portion of criticism.

      She listened silently and took notes, when suddenly she raised her head, and her gaze stopped on me. I tried my best to become invisible and merge with the furniture, although I understood that it was too late.

      – I looked at Kira’s blog here…

      I froze and stopped breathing, hearing the rapid beating of her heart echoing in my ears. I felt like a helpless doll under her sharp gaze. – And I suggest that she teach a module on psychology in our project, – she finished her remark and sat back in her chair with satisfaction.

      I perked up and exhaled sharply. A smile spread across my face in surprise.

      «My knowledge was noticed and appreciated! They believe in me!» – flashed through my head like an arrow. I tore myself away from the back of the chair, which seemed to have grown to me, and straightened my shoulders.

      «With pleasure! I won’t let you down!» I blurted out joyfully.

      I couldn’t even imagine that a hobby – blogging on philosophical and psychological topics, where I have been sharing my thoughts and discoveries for five years now – would give such a boost to my career. How wonderful it is when hobbies and work intertwine!

      It was as if I had a second wind, and a visit to that very «scary office» of Eva Schwein, which my colleagues sometimes scared me with, turned out to be a new hope for me. When I got home, without undressing, I greedily pounced on my books and notes on psychology – I was too inspired, and in one

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Translated by Lyubov Fedotova