Intertwined Fates. Ariana Bazhenova

inspired by the pictures that arose before my inner eye. I clearly knew that this was a premonition, not a fantasy, although it was sometimes difficult to distinguish between them. I saw a long, bright laboratory with equipment, a row of narrow windows under the ceiling, and a separate office for the director in the left corner: and in it, Lev and I were sitting and slowly discussing materials on the project and psychology in general, but behind these conversations a feeling of mutual human warmth was growing. And here is another vision, which appeared before my inner eye in brief episodes in broad daylight – he throws a robe over my shoulders and leads me around the laboratory, shows me the equipment, explains how it works, gives me some details to examine – there is a mixture of pleasure, pride and tenderness on his face, he is happy to tell a girl who does not understand anything about it about his favorite business, and his colleagues look at each other in confusion and shrug their shoulders. It is strange, where do such clear pictures come from in reality? After all, I have never been to his laboratories. But just a little bit more – and I will see everything with my own eyes. I wish it would be sooner, sooner… However, one thing bothered me. All my colleagues, speakers of other modules, had long ago held meetings to discuss their projects. Lev stubbornly did not contact me. Day after day, I glanced at my work phone, expecting to see the three cherished digits of his extension number and hear that hoarse, slightly high-pitched voice – and every time someone called me, I pretended to roll my eyes and declared: «Not him again!», which caused good-natured laughter among my colleagues. But neither humor nor serious anticipation brought the cherished event closer. Other speakers were already discussing their materials, and anxiety stirred in me, the fear of falling behind the others, of not making it on time.

      «I shouldn’t write to him first again. I need to have pride. He is responsible for the module, I am just his assistant,» flashed through my thoughts. But impatience, the desire to get down to business as soon as possible, and excessive responsibility in work matters began to take over.

      Finally giving in, I opened the email window and put my fingers on the keyboard. «Lev, good morning! This is Kira, we are doing a project in psychology together. How would you like to get together and discuss a common work plan?»

      The letter was sent.

      «Well, I didn’t write first, well done,» I thought ironically. I introduced myself to everyone by my first and last name, but now I deliberately took a step forward to establish trust by offering to call me only by my first name.

      To my surprise, the answer came immediately: «Kira, hi! Yes, come to our department on Wednesday so as not to occupy the conference room in the administration.» I read his «Kira, hi!» several times with delight, and something clicked inside, spreading warmth throughout my body.

      ***

      The long-awaited Wednesday has arrived. I spent a long time choosing an outfit in the morning so that I would look tasteful and elegant at this important moment, our first meeting. Although we had seen each other from afar before, today our personal communication would begin, and I would not have a second chance to make a first impression. I settled on a coffee-colored turtleneck, bought back in school, a black pencil skirt and high-heeled boots. The final touches were playfully curled locks framing my face and giving the whole image a romantic flair. «Are you going somewhere after work?» Angela asked ingratiatingly, watching me fix my hair in front of the mirror. «No, not after work, I’m leaving in half an hour,» I winked at her.

      My body reacted to the upcoming meeting in a very strange way: a slight tremor and sweat ran through me, and my stomach was slightly twisted with excitement. Throwing on a light-colored faux fur coat, I stepped out into the crisp, frosty November air and set off, passing old brick buildings of industrial workshops, entered an inconspicuous door at the end, and moved along a bright labyrinth of corridors.

      Here was the coveted blue door. Overcoming my trembling, I reached out and pressed the doorbell. A friendly, black-haired girl opened the door for me.

      – Hello, I’m here to see Lev, – I nodded briefly.

      – Come in, sit down, he’ll be right there, – she led me into a cramped room filled with cabinets and chairs, and pointed to a worn black leather sofa.

      «A great start, I’m late for the meeting, and he’s in no hurry himself,» I noted sarcastically. Finally, he came into the office and, without offering me any tea or coffee (which, from my point of view, would have been a sign of hospitality and respect, even in a work environment), collapsed on the sofa next to me. I looked closely into his large expressive brown eyes, which were now closer than ever, and I was again overcome by the feeling that I had known this man for a very long time. So this long-awaited face-to-face meeting had happened!

      But now his whole appearance expressed obvious displeasure. Slightly disheveled dark hair, a stretched lilac sweater and a slight tremor in his hands – all this gave away in him an extremely busy person who had been pulled out of the work process against his will.

      «I don’t have anything ready,» he began without greeting. Noticing my embarrassed look, he continued to press. «I don’t have time to deal with this… crap.»

      I was overwhelmed with confusion and awkwardness. How could this be! I prepared for the meeting so much, reread and took notes on several articles on psychology, made a plan, and this project really did look promising! But what bothered me most was something else. Lev and I exchanged glances for so long, and finally the top management took the first step for us – they put us to work together.

      My throat tightened with resentment for a moment. «How can he be rude to me on our first meeting!»

      «It’s okay,» I smiled politely, keeping my composure, and got back to work. «I have a few ideas on how to structure the work. We’ll split the entire module into four thematic blocks, each of us gets two. You can add a couple of exercises at the end. I’ll take care of the presentation – just send me the information on your blocks. I’ve also started reading a book on our topic, in my opinion, it’s written in an accessible language, useful and without fluff. If you have time, I’d advise you to read it.»

      I noticed that he had thawed a little, his gaze had softened, and he sat down more relaxed, leaning back on the sofa. I leaned back after him. We leaned in and moved closer to each other as if by accident.

      «What’s the name of the book?» he asked again and opened the online library on his smartphone. A couple of clicks – and he already had it in electronic form.

      – What kind of application is this? I’ll install it too, – I did a couple of manipulations on the smartphone and nodded with satisfaction. – What deadlines will we set? By what date will we prepare the drafts of our blocks?

      – Somehow you started fussing early… There are still almost four months.

      – It’s better to start without rushing earlier, we’ll do everything well, – I shrugged.

      Back then, I really managed to live by this principle – until things started falling on me like an avalanche.

      – On the twenty-fifth, I’m leaving for a conference in Adler, for a congress of scientists, – he thoughtfully looked at the calendar hanging on the wall. – And from the twenty-first to the twenty-third, I’ll be in Novosibirsk.

      – In Novosibirsk? – I perked up and thought that I had misheard. I still had the warmest memories of that town. – It’s freezing there now, dress warmer. What will you do there?

      – We are presenting a training program for students of technical specialties. I will be giving a lecture on diagnostics of faults in program code at the Polytechnic.

      – How great! – my eyes sparkled with admiration. – There is a good academic environment there. I am from Novosibirsk State University. Have you heard of it?

      – Yes,