Do As I Say, Not As I Did. Michael N. Marcus

is no guarantee of future results.” That’s certainly true, but past performance is a pretty good indicator of how the people who run companies (and brokerages) will perform in the future.

      •No stock will increase in value forever. At some point you should take the money and run.

      This not a book about insurance but I will give a few tips:

      •There are two main types of life insurance: term (pure insurance coverage) and whole life (a combination of insurance and investment which should build cash value).

      •Many people carry both types.

      •You’ll get the most coverage for the least cost with term insurance. This is probably the right kind of insurance if you have children to provide for.

      •Don’t think of life insurance as an investment.

      •Insurance agents will probably push whole life because it generates higher commissions than term insurance.

      •You can probably borrow against a whole life policy.

      •The length (term) of a policy should coincide with your needs. It should last until you expect your kids to become independent.

      •Buy life insurance when you’re young and healthy.

      •Tell the truth on the application.

      •There is no simple and perfect way to determine how much coverage is enough. If you have young kids and/or owe lots of money, you should have enough insurance coverage to replace as much as ten years of your salary, or maybe even more. The coverage figure will vary depending on whether the surviving mate will have to support kids, other assets that may be available, age of the kids and expected educational and wedding expenses, etc.

      •I know little about long-term care insurance. See this: http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2014/05/28/316328410/how-to-shop-for-long-term-care-insurance

      •Shop around for a good deal on insurance from a reputable company.

      •Try to can get a discount for having multiple policies, such as auto, home and life from the same company.

      •Car insurance is very expensive if you have male teenage drivers.

      •Even if you live in a really crappy neighborhood, home insurance may be surprisingly inexpensive.

      •Also, million-dollar liability insurance is often surprisingly inexpensive.

      Every car that you see being driven is a used car. Some may have been used for a few minutes and others for five decades or more. As soon as a car is sold by its original dealer its value may drop by 10 or 20% or even more.

      If you buy a used car the first owner will have absorbed the first big bite of depreciation.

      It can make sense to buy a “previously owned” vehicle:

      •if you don’t have to drive the latest and greatest,

      •if you do proper research so you don’t pick a lemon,

      •if you buy from a reputable dealer who provides a strong warranty,

      •and you will keep the car for several years.

      Before buying a used car, check its history at Carfax.com or similar websites.

      Companies keep building casinos because most gamblers lose money. If a friend tells you that she just won $3,000 at a casino she probably won’t tell you that she lost $20,000 in the previous few months.

      •If you go to a casino, know how much money you are willing to lose and don’t bet more than that.

      •Don’t gamble with money you need for something else, like paying rent, tuition or an insurance bill.

      •Don’t borrow money to gamble or—even worse—to finance an attempt to recoup your gambling loss.

      •Don’t go to a casino expecting to win enough money to pay for a house, a car or surgery.

      Love & Relationships

      While it’s possible to be “friends with benefits,” the aspects of a personality that make a good friend are probably not the same things that mean someone will be a good mate.

      I failed at converting female friends into lovers three times in my life. Two of those friends turned out to be lesbians, so maybe they don’t count.

      Lesson: It’s very difficult to convert friendship into romance.

      Your mate will probably ask for your preference (e.g.: Do you want Italian dressing or Caesar dressing? Do you prefer this carpeting or that carpeting?).

      Lesson: Even if you don’t have a preference, just make a selection—quickly.

      True happiness is not having to share a bathroom. I’ve had my own john in three homes since 1975. I can leave the seat up and I don’t encounter female chemicals or clothes. It’s the only way to live. If at all possible, DO NOT share a bathroom.

      Lessons: (1) If you have to share, take your stuff out with you or conceal it from your mate. (2) Men—put down the toilet seat. (3) Women—if he doesn’t, you can do it.

      New Haven’s Hillhouse High School was about half black and half white in the early 1960s, with a tiny percentage of “other.”

      Although homerooms and gym classes contained a wide mix of kids, the actual classes where we spent most of our time and got to know classmates and make friends were highly homogenous.

      The division system led to separation by race, religion and income rather than pure potential. Some smart kids who probably could’ve done well in college and beyond were directed to blue-collar training and occupations. The kids in the “college” divisions were overwhelmingly white and Jewish (like me).

      The separation within Hillhouse prevented many friendships (and probably some weddings) from happening. There were maybe 600 kids in our class, but how many did we each know? 10? 30? 50?

      How many opportunities were lost? How many intellectual and economic alliances were not formed? How many loves did not bloom? We’ll never know.

      There were many barriers to relationships then that no longer exist. Now kids can date kids of different races, or the same gender, and the boy doesn't have to be older and taller than the girl.

      Lesson: Widen your horizons.

      Fart appreciation is a gender issue. Men are proud of their farts. Women are embarrassed. When men are without women, even if they are in their 60s, they still act like they are six years old and they love to out-stink each other—even if they are in the corporate boardroom and wearing $5,000 custom suits.

      Kids know that farts are funny. When we’re young, we all like to blow ass bubbles in the bathtub or the pool. Fart sounds are so cool that we make fake fart sounds, and we buy gadgets that make fake fart sounds and fake fart smells. There are even recommendations online for “fart foods.”

      But by a certain age we are taught to hold back our farts, and not even to laugh at farts. That’s sad.

      I think we should have one day each year when nobody is embarrassed to fart. A national “Freedom to Fart Day” is no more ridiculous than “Talk like a Pirate Day.” Aaargh!

      Farting is a very natural activity. Even presidents and popes and police chiefs fart. Presumably Jackie Kennedy