Do As I Say, Not As I Did. Michael N. Marcus

you money and may be surprisingly good. Walmart’s imitation Oreos are excellent and ShopRite’s Manhattan clam chowder is one of the best I’ve ever tasted. I’ve never regretted any Staples-brand office products I’ve bought. Some are low-priced commodity supplies but others are innovative items developed by or for Staples.

      •You can probably save money on cable or satellite TV, Internet and cellphone expenses. Call customer service and explain that you’ve been offered an amazing deal from a competitor and ask what the current service provider will do to keep you as a customer. This strategy can also work with newspaper and magazine subscriptions even if there is no competitor to jump to.

      •You may be able to save money on personal and business insurance by switching to a new company. There are often special deals to entice new customers. A year later if the price jumps up—and it probably will—you can change again.

      •If you’ve been with the same insurance agent for many years, ask him or her to shop around for you.

      •Sellers on eBay frequently offer brand-new products for personal and business use at ridiculously low prices. Make eBay one of your regular shopping spots.

      •I know someone who saves 1% to 15% and sometimes gets even bigger discounts by placing orders for a huge variety of products through Ebates.com. He starts shopping at Ebates and then goes to another website or drives to Home Depot or Neiman-Marcus and picks up his order.

      •You’ll probably be exposed to lots of “free” offers and low-price deals online and on TV and radio. Be sure you know the shipping and the mysterious “handling” and “processing” charges before placing the order. You can be sure the charges for shipping, handling and processing cover those items, plus the cost of the “free” item—and provide a profit.

      •If you need money fast you may be tempted to go to a pawn shop. Whether you want to get a loan or sell something, don’t expect to get more than 10-25% of what you originally paid for the item. Gold and silver jewelry is often melted down. Unless the ring, necklace or other item is unusually beautiful or from a famous designer or store (such as Tiffany) you will get only what the metal is worth as scrap. What you think is a diamond may be a synthetic stone with little value.

      •You can probably get more money for an item if you sell it on eBay than if you take it to a pawn shop, but it will take longer to get paid.

      •Approximately 100% of emails from third-world countries promising to make you rich are scams and should be ignored. (below) I wrote a book about this.

      •When a group goes out to eat, announce at the meal’s beginning that the check will be split evenly. This should prevent Steve from ordering nine beers and Sally from ordering an extra meal to go home as part of the group’s check. If people are abusive, exclude them from future meals. If one or some folks plan to do a lot of drinking, have them ask the server for a separate beverage check.

      •If you find surprisingly good deals on something you want to buy—particularly a camera or electronic product—check to see if the bargains are “gray goods” or “parallel imports.” These are products not intended for the country in which they are being sold. They often lack the manufacturer’s warranty, may have different features from the models intended for use in your country, may not comply with government regulations and may not be compatible with other items (including accessories and software) you want to use with them.

      •In general, you do not have to send in a form to register a product for warranty coverage. Your receipt should be enough.

      •Think twice before you provide your cellphone number to a store, utility or other company that extends credit. You may be driving in your car with other people and suddenly you’ll receive a call about a missed payment and everyone will hear it through the speakers.

      •Many online and bricks-and-mortar “factory outlet stores” are not really outlets for the factories that made the products being sold. Be careful that you don’t get junk and no warranty.

      •Don’t be fooled by “as seen on TV.” All that means is that the company can afford to pay for commercials. It doesn’t mean that the commercials are truthful or the TV networks and stations recommend the advertised products or services.

      I’m a huge fan of Amazon Prime. For just $99 per year, I get free two-day shipping on almost everything Amazon sells (even huge and heavy stuff) and can pay just $3.99 for next-day delivery—which often includes Saturday.

      I order from Amazon at least twice a week. Until the company offers teleportation, or a pneumatic tube from its warehouse to me, I’ll have to settle for quick delivery via the brown truck. I see our UPS driver more often than I see my mother or siblings—and UPS brings me much better toys than they buy for me.

      Prime also includes free borrowing of over 500,000 Kindle ebooks and unlimited, commercial-free, instant streaming of tens of thousands of movies and TV shows (including lots of HBO original programming, like The Sopranos) and a gazillion songs.

      Movies and TV included with a Prime membership can be watched instantly on Macs, PCs and hundreds of models of Internet-connected TVs, Blu-ray players and set-top boxes that are compatible with Amazon Instant Video. The system is also integrated with my new Amazon Fire TV itty-bitty box.

      This is not a book about investing but I will give you a few tips:

      •Buy low and sell high.

      •Decide on your goals before you spend money.

      •Learn about tax advantages and disadvantages for different kinds of investments.

      •Don’t buy stocks, bonds or commodities just because you like the voice of the person who called you to tout them. I knew a broker who had at least three different telephone personalities and voices.

      •Unless you have the nerve and devotion to become a day trader, hold the stock or mutual fund for months or years as long as the overall trend is upward (or even level if the rest of the market is sinking). Prices are very volatile in the short term.

      •Before you invest, find out what’s involved in getting your money out. How long will it take? How many forms do you have to fill out? How much will it cost?

      •Diversify, perhaps with one or more mutual funds.

      •Don’t get involved in ‘fancy’ investments like options, futures and derivatives unless you really understand them.

      •Be dubious of insider tips. You might lose money—or go to prison.

      •Learn about the people who control the companies you are considering investing in. Don’t turn over your precious money to knaves or fools.

      •The more an investment can earn, the riskier it is.

      •Interest rates are usually pretty close to the inflation rate. Savings accounts that pay 1% interest may seem nearly useless, but when CDs paid 12% or more in the 1980s, inflation was 13.5% in the USA. In 2013 it was just 1.5%.

      •Sadly, the interest rates charged on credit cards do not generally drop when inflation drops. You may be able to negotiate a lower rate or switch to another card with a low “balance transfer” rate.

      •Don’t borrow money to finance an investment.

      •Don’t invest more than you can afford to lose.

      •Try to find a secure investment that will earn more than the inflation rate and have low (or no) service fees.

      •Consider tax-free government bonds.

      •Use stop-losses to minimize what you can lose when a stock’s price moves down.