Do As I Say, Not As I Did. Michael N. Marcus

interchangeable.

      I knew a single father who worked for the state government and scheduled his vacations years in advance. Because of his seniority and accumulated “leave” time he often got two or even three consecutive weeks off.

      He spent most of the time watching TV and occasionally went to baseball games or casinos—by himself.

      Invariably, his first day back at work was the first day of school vacation for his kids—who spent their vacations bored at home.

      Lesson: Try to schedule your vacation to coincide with your kids’ vacation.

      If a child does something well, don’t just brag about her or him; tell her or him how proud you are.

      Lesson: Kids need both praise and criticism—promptly. Don’t let them wonder if you approve of what they did.

      Some parents try to get their kids improperly labeled as immature so they’ll start school a year late, and will be older than—and perhaps have an advantage over—classmates of the proper age.

      Lesson: this strategy can backfire later on if your child’s classmates learn the secret and make fun of her or him for being left behind.

      •Most birthdays signify nothing more than completing another 365 days of consuming air, water and food—but our culture demands celebration. Give special privileges for birthdays. When I was a kid, each member of the family got to choose a restaurant for birthday meals.

      •Consider a low-key family celebration to mark a daughter’s first menstruation. It’s normal, a legitimate coming-of-age event, an educational opportunity and isn’t yucky.

      •Take your children on trips—for hours, days, weeks, any amount of time you can get away. Let the kids help plan the itinerary. Teach the kids to read maps and to follow your family’s progress when you travel. It’s educational, fun and can help avoid disasters.

      •If you have several kids it’s important to treat them equally, but also make each one feel special. Give each kid an occasional special day, even if it’s just to go out for a walk or an ice cream.

      •Just because you’re a parent, you don’t always have to behave like an adult. It’s OK to wear a silly hat, get down on the floor, roll down a hill, throw snowballs, do silly tricks and make fart sounds. However, don’t do anything stupid while driving.

      •Encourage kids to spend time being active and outdoors.

      •Encourage them to provide community service, to help neighbors and to not expect to be paid for doing routine household chores.

      •Help kids become comfortable in front of groups. Encourage acting, singing, playing an instrument, acrobatics, magic, athletics, etc.

      •Make learning fun. I knew two little kids who became math wizards because their father taught them to play blackjack when they were still in preschool.

      (above) When I was in high school I had a part-time job selling shoes. One time a woman came in with her son who was probably four or five years old. She asked me to explain shoe sizes to him. I told him that I measured foot length and width and I let him try the “Brannock Device” to measure his sister’s feet.

      He did very well and learned that “longer” and “wider” were more precise than simply “bigger.”

      

      Stamp collecting teaches history, math, geography and graphic design and might even make money for the collector.

      The first stamp I ever bought (above) was a “commemorative” showing Wheatland, home of 15^th American president James Buchanan. He served immediately before the American Civil War and is the only president from Pennsylvania and the only president who was a lifelong bachelor. Buchanan is often considered to be one of the worst American presidents because of his failure to stop the secession of the southern states.

      I paid three cents for the Wheatland stamp in 1956. It’s still worth three cents as postage but is worth only about a penny to collectors—not much of an investment.

      Lesson: Coin collecting is fun and educational, too, and the collectables are spendables. Almost any hobby has educational benefits and will keep a kid busy and out of trouble.

      Be funny. When I was a kid my father taught me to sing The Sheik of Araby inserting “with no pants on” after each phrase.

      I’m the sheik of Araby with no pants on

      Your love belongs to me with no pants on

      At night when you’re asleep with no pants on

      Into your tent I’ll creep with no pants on

      The moon and stars above with no pants on

      Will light our way to love with no pants on

      You’ll rule the world with me with no pants on

      I’m the sheik of Araby with no pants on