Fyodor Dostoyevsky: Complete Novels & Stories (Wisehouse Classics). Fyodor Dostoyevsky

For whose sake do you suppose my father does it? He does it for me, only for me. He wants nothing; he wouldn’t bow down to anyone for himself. He may be very absurd in some people’s eyes, but he is a noble man, the noblest of men! He thinks—goodness knows why, and certainly not because I get a good salary here, I assure you—he thinks that it is best for me to stay here in this house; but now I have quite brought him round. I wrote to him firmly. He has come on purpose to take me; and if it comes to extremes, tomorrow. For things have got beyond everything; they are ready to tear me to pieces, and I am certain that they are quarrelling about me now. They are at him, on my account, they will be the death of him! And he is like a father to me—do you hear? more even than my own father. I won’t stay to see it. I know more than other people. Tomorrow, tomorrow I am going! Who knows: perhaps that will make them put off, if only for a time, his marriage to Tatyana Ivanovna... Here I have told you all about it now. Tell him this, because I can’t speak to him now; we are watched, especially by that Perepelitsyn woman. Tell him not to worry about me, tell him I would rather eat black bread and live in my father’s hut than be the cause of his sufferings here. I am a poor girl, and I ought to live like a poor girl. But, my God, what an uproar! What shouting! What is happening? Yes, come what may I shall go in! I will tell them all this straight to their faces myself, whatever happens! I ought to do it! Good-bye.”

      She ran away. I remained standing on the same spot, fully conscious of the absurdity of the part it had just been my lot to play, and completely puzzled to think how it would all be settled. I was sorry for the poor girl, and I was afraid for my uncle. All at once I found Gavrila at my side; he was still holding the exercise book in his hand.

      “Please come to your uncle,” he said in a dejected voice.

      I pulled myself together.

      “To my uncle? Where is he? What’s happening to him now?”

      “In the tea-room. Where your honour had tea this afternoon.”

      “Who is with him?”

      “His honour’s alone. He is waiting.”

      “For whom? For me?”

      “He has sent for Foma Fomitch. Happy days have come for us,” he added, with a deep sigh.

      “Foma Fomitch? H’m! Where are the others? Where’s your mistress?”

      “In her own apartments. Her honour’s fallen into a swoon, and now she is lying unconscious and crying.”

      Conversing in this way, we reached the veranda. It was almost completely dark outside. My uncle really was alone in the very room in which my encounter with Foma Fomitch had taken place, and he was striding up and down it. There were lighted candles on the tables. He was pale and breathing hard; his hands were trembling, and from time to time a nervous shudder ran over his whole frame.

Chapter 9 — Your Excellency

      “My dear boy, it’s all over, it’s all settled,” he pronounced in a tragic half-whisper.

      “Uncle,” I said, “I heard shouts and uproar.”

      “Yes, my boy, shouts there were; shouts of all sorts! Mamma is in a swoon, and everything is upside down now. But I have made up my mind, and shall insist on my own way. I am afraid of no one now, Seryozha. I want to show them that I, too, have a will of my own, and I will show them! And so I have sent for you on purpose that you may help me show them... My heart is broken, Seryozha... but I ought, I am bound to act with severity. Justice is inexorable.”

      “But whatever has happened, uncle?”

      “I am parting with Foma,” my uncle pronounced in a resolute voice.

      “Uncle,” I cried, delighted, “you could have thought of nothing better! And if I can assist in any way to carry out your decision... make use of me now and always.”

      “Thank you, my boy, thank you! But now it is all settled. I am waiting for Foma, I have already sent for him. Either he or I! We must part. Either Foma leaves this house tomorrow or I swear I’ll throw up everything and go into the Hussars again. They will take me and give me a division. Away with all this bobbery! A fresh start in every way now. What have you got that French exercise book for?” he cried furiously, addressing Gavrila. “Away with it! Bum it, stamp on it, tear it to pieces! I am your master, and I order you not to learn French. You can’t disobey me, you dare not, for I am your master, and not Foma Fomitch!”

      “I thank Thee, O Lord!” Gavrila muttered to himself.

      Evidently things had got beyond a joke.

      “My dear,” my uncle went on, with deep feeling, “they are asking me the impossible. You shall decide; you stand between me and them now as an impartial judge. You don’t know what they have insisted on my doing, you don’t know, and at last they have formally demanded it, they have spoken out. But it’s repugnant to humanity, to decent feeling, to honour... I will tell you all about it, but first...”

      “I know about it already, uncle!” I cried, interrupting him. “I can guess... I have just been talking to Nastasya Yevgrafovna.”

      “My dear, not a word, not a word of that now!” he interrupted me hurriedly, as though he were frightened. “I will explain about it later on, but meanwhile... Well?” he cried to Vidoplyasov, who walked in. “Where is Foma Fomitch?”

      Vidoplyasov entered with the information “that Foma Fomitch did not wish to come, and considered that the insistence on his doing so was rude to the point of impertinence, so that his honour, Foma Fomitch, was greatly offended by it.”

      “Bring him! Drag him! Fetch him here! Drag him here by force!” cried my uncle, stamping.

      Vidoplyasov, who had never seen his master in such a rage, retreated in alarm. I was surprised.

      “Something very important must have happened,” I thought, “if a man of his character is capable of being moved to such wrath and such determination.”

      For some moments my uncle walked up and down the room as though struggling with himself.

      “Don’t tear up your exercise book though,” he said to Gavrila as last. “Wait a little and stay here. You may perhaps be wanted. My dear,” he went on, turning to me, “I think I was too noisy just now. Everything must be done with dignity and manliness, but without shouting and insulting people. Do you know what, Seryozha; wouldn’t it be better if you were to go out? It will be just the same to you. I will tell you all about it later on—eh? What do you think? Do that for my sake, please.”

      “Are you frightened, uncle? Are you repenting?” I said, looking at him intently.

      “No, no, my dear boy, I am not repenting,” cried my uncle, with redoubled earnestness. “I am afraid of nothing now. I have taken decisive steps, the most decisive! You don’t know, you can’t imagine what they have demanded of me! Ought I to consent? No, I will show them. I have made a stand against them and I will show them. I was bound to show them sooner or later! But you know, my dear boy, I am sorry I sent for you; it will be very hard, perhaps, for Foma if you are here, so to say, the witness of his humiliation. You see, I want to turn him out of the house in a gentlemanly way, without humiliating him at all. Though, indeed, it is only a form of words to say, without humiliation. The position is such, my boy, that however honied one’s speech is it will still be insulting. I am coarse, uneducated perhaps, I may do something in my foolishness that I may regret later. Anyway he has done a great deal for me.... Go away, my dear.”... Here, they are bringing him! Seryozha, I entreat you, go away; I will tell you all about it afterwards. For Christ’s sake go away!”

      And uncle led me out on to the veranda at the very moment when Foma walked into the room. But I must confess I did not go away; I made up my mind to stay on the veranda, where it was very dark, and so it was difficult to see me from within. I made up my mind to play the eavesdropper! I do not justify my action, but I can boldly say that I consider I performed an heroic feat in standing that whole half-hour on the veranda without losing patience.

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