The Merry Wives of Windsor. William Shakespeare

pounds of moneys, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire upon his death's-bed—Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!—give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old. It were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.

       SHALLOW

       Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?

       EVANS

       Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.

       SHALLOW

       I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts.

       EVANS

       Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is goot gifts.

       SHALLOW

       Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?

       EVANS

       Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do despise one that is false; or as I despise one that is not true. The knight Sir John is there; and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will peat the door for Master Page.

      [Knocks.]

      What, hoa! Got pless your house here!

       PAGE

       [Within] Who's there? EVANS Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and Justice Shallow; and here young Master Slender, that peradventures shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings.

      [Enter PAGE.]

      PAGE

       I am glad to see your worships well. I thank you for my venison, Master Shallow.

       SHALLOW

       Master Page, I am glad to see you; much good do it your good heart! I wished your venison better; it was ill killed. How doth good Mistress Page?—and I thank you always with my heart, la! with my heart.

       PAGE

       Sir, I thank you.

       SHALLOW

       Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.

       PAGE

       I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.

       SLENDER

       How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he was outrun on Cotsall.

       PAGE

       It could not be judged, sir.

       SLENDER

       You'll not confess, you'll not confess.

       SHALLOW

       That he will not: 'tis your fault; 'tis your fault. 'Tis a good dog.

       PAGE

       A cur, sir.

       SHALLOW

       Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog; can there be more said? he is good, and fair. Is Sir John Falstaff here?

       PAGE

       Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you.

       EVANS

       It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.

       SHALLOW

       He hath wronged me, Master Page.

       PAGE

       Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.

       SHALLOW

       If it be confessed, it is not redressed: is not that so, Master Page? He hath wronged me; indeed he hath;—at a word, he hath—believe me; Robert Shallow, esquire, saith he is wronged.

       PAGE

       Here comes Sir John.

      [Enter SIR JOHN FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYM, and PISTOL.]

      FALSTAFF

       Now, Master Shallow, you'll complain of me to the King?

       SHALLOW

       Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke open my lodge.

       FALSTAFF

       But not kiss'd your keeper's daughter?

       SHALLOW

       Tut, a pin! this shall be answered.

       FALSTAFF

       I will answer it straight: I have done all this. That is now answered.

       SHALLOW

       The Council shall know this.

       FALSTAFF

       'Twere better for you if it were known in counsel: you'll be laughed at.

       EVANS

       Pauca verba, Sir John; goot worts.

       FALSTAFF

       Good worts! good cabbage! Slender, I broke your head; what matter have you against me?

       SLENDER

       Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. They carried me to the tavern, and made me drunk, and afterwards picked my pocket.

       BARDOLPH

       You Banbury cheese!

       SLENDER

       Ay, it is no matter.

       PISTOL

       How now, Mephostophilus!

       SLENDER

       Ay, it is no matter.

       NYM

       Slice, I say! pauca, pauca; slice! That's my humour.

       SLENDER

       Where's Simple, my man? Can you tell, cousin?

       EVANS

       Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand. There is three umpires in this matter, as I understand: that is—Master Page, fidelicet Master Page; and there is myself, fidelicet myself; and the three party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter.

       PAGE

       We three to hear it and end it between them.

       EVANS

       Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note-book; and we will afterwards ork upon the cause with as great discreetly as we can.

       FALSTAFF

       Pistol!

       PISTOL

       He hears with ears.

       EVANS

       The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, "He hears with ear"? Why, it is affectations.

       FALSTAFF

       Pistol, did you pick Master Slender's purse?

       SLENDER

       Ay, by these gloves, did he—or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again else!—of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovel-boards that cost me two shilling and two pence a-piece of Yead Miller, by these gloves.

       FALSTAFF

       Is this true, Pistol?

       EVANS

       No, it is false, if it is a pick-purse.

       PISTOL

       Ha, thou mountain-foreigner!—Sir John and master mine,

       I combat challenge of this latten bilbo.

       Word of denial in thy labras here!

       Word of denial! Froth and scum, thou liest.