The Complete Plays of J. M. Barrie - 30 Titles in One Edition. Джеймс Барри

(stopping on ladder). Dear Colonel Neil, it rends my heart to see you so miserable — for I know the cause!

      JASPER. What — you know?

      BELL. I am the cause!

      JASPER. Oh! You! — yes! BELL. Let me come up and talk to you, dear Colonel Neil.

      JASPER. No — no!

      BELL. You must be wretched up there, all alone!

      JASPER. Alone — ah — yes!

      BELL. YOU look so lonely!

      JASPER. I’m not so — so lonely as I look. I wish I was lonelier — I mean, I want to be left to myself. Go back, Miss Golightly, to Mr. Upjohn, don’t think about me. I — mean I want to be left alone with my misery.

      (She sighs and goes back to KIT.)

      (Looks at SARAH.) My misery! That’s you, Sarah! Why, she’s got my trousers on and my coat and vest neatly folded — careful Sarah! (Stands looking at her.)

      (ANDREW and NANNY in saloon.)

      ANDREW (who has been feeling his pockets excitedly). I have lost the telegram! Left it on deck!

      (Hurries to bow, and is about to ascend ladder.)

      BELL. Don’t go on deck, Mr. McPhail; Colonel Neil is there and he — he isn’t well.

      ANDREW. Not well? Caught a chill? I’ll give him something for it. (Steps on to ladder.)

      JASPER (hearing him and running to top of ladder). You can’t come up here. (Fiercely.)

      ANDREW. I want my telegram!

      JASPER (fiercely). Go away!

      BELL. Mr. McPhail, Nanny has your telegram. I saw her pick it up!

      (NANNY enters from saloon.)

      NANNY. Who is that speaking of me?

      ANDREW (re-entering saloon and shutting door). You have my telegram, Miss O’Brien!

      NANNY. See!

      (Produces it from her bosom.)

      ANDREW. You kept my telegram there! You darling!

      (Embraces her.)

      NANNY. Are we engaged?

      ANDREW. Great Scott! I believe we are! When will it be — next month?

      NANNY. Without a trousseau! It would be a tempting of Providence.

      ANDREW. But to have a wife would help me in my practice. Marry in an old frock, Nanny, and get the trousseau afterwards!

      NANNY. Marry in an old frock! It wouldn’t be legal.

      JASPER (groans). Oh lor’!

      NANNY. But what a shame of us to be so happy, when the Colonel is so wretched. Listen to him on deck!

      ANDREW. That reminds me, Miss Golightly says he isn’t well.

      NANNY. Not well. That is all she knows, Andrew. As you are my affianced husband I may tell you all, but you must never breathe a word of it to the others. (Whispers in his ear.)

      ANDREW. No? (She whispers again.) Poor chap!

      (Whispers) And you preferred me to him? I suppose he is groaning up there because you wouldn’t have him?

      NANNY. Yes, and I am so sorry for him!

      JASPER. Women never could resist me — never!

      KIT. I hear him muttering to himself!

      BELL. A man would not do that who was not suffering deeply.

      (Clock strikes 10.)

      JASPER. Sleep on, Sarah, sleep on! It is only a clock, sleep on!

      NANNY. This year, next year, now, never, etc. Fancy! I have been engaged for five minutes, and I haven’t told Auntie yet. I must!

      ANDREW. And I’ll tell the others!

      (Exit NANNY.)

      Miss Golightly, I have something to tell you that will surprise you very much!

      BELL. Let me guess! You and Nanny are engaged?

      JASPER (looking down). A selfish lot that think of nobody but themselves!

      ANDREW. Yes, but how could you guess it?

      BELL. I am so glad!

      KIT. And I too, old man, and just think — Bell and I —

      ANDREW. Engaged too? I expected it!

      (Turns back into saloon and exits.)

      JASPER (desperately). Miss Golightly, it is getting chilly. I think it’s going to snow — should you not go inside?

      BELL. How thoughtful of you, dear Colonel. You will come too?

      JASPER. Not yet.

      (BELL enters saloon, pulls down front blinds.)

      JASPER. Mr. Upjohn, why don’t you follow her?

      KIT (reluctantly). I’ll come up and have a chat with you!

      JASPER. No — no! I mean, you would prefer to be with her.

      KIT. Well, Miss O’Brien is getting up a dance, I believe I am needed. You are sure you don’t mind?

      JASPER. Not at all!

      KIT. You are a good fellow!

      (Enters saloon and pulls down blind.)

      JASPER. At last! (Comes half down ladder and peers.)

      Now then for Sarah! (Returns softly to her and wheels chair till it is beneath rope.) The chances are she will fall into the water, but it is your own fault, Sarah, for coming here and putting me in a false position.

      (Music. Dance, JASPER ties rope about chair. Minuet danced in saloon by KIT and BELL, ANDREW and NANNY, during scene on deck. When SARAH is in mid air, cuckoo is heard three times. She wakens.)

      SARAH. What is this — where am I?

      JASPER. That damned cuckoo has awakened her!

      SARAH. You — Jasper!

      JASPER. S — Sarah!

      SARAH. Oh!

      JASPER. Don’t scream, Sarah, or I’ll drop you into the river!

      SARAH. You are murdering me!

      JASPER. Sarah, I saved a swell girl’s life —

      SARAH. You, Jasper!

      JASPER. The way that girl and another one have run after me. Called themselves my sisters.

      SARAH. The hussies!

      JASPER. They are, they are. Why, one of them wanted me to marry her.

      SARAH. Jasper, you had no right to when you were engaged to me — Jasper!

      JASPER. But I refused. And why? Because there’s only one girl for me and her name is Sarah.

      SARAH. Oh, Jasper!

      JASPER. Yes, I trusted you, Sarah, but you don’t trust me; you followed me, and, Sarah, you have been carrying on with a shopman in the village.

      SARAH. No, I swear — nothing to speak of, Jasper.

      JASPER. YOU admit it!

      SARAH. Jasper, forgive me!

      JASPER.