The Complete Plays of J. M. Barrie - 30 Titles in One Edition. Джеймс Барри

get married. We’ll have a delicious honeymoon.

      (He lets her down and then descends ladder.)

      SARAH. You are sure you forgive me, Jasper?

      JASPER. My own Sarah, I do! (Kisses her W. G. is heard shouting.) It is W. G. Crawl in here, Sarah.

      (She gets beneath awning.) I can’t untie the ropes.

      W. G. Hi! Hi! Hi! (Comes along bank to NANNY and KIT at windows.) I had him out of the water — a three-pounder, and then the line broke.

      (KIT and BELL come to saloon window, W. G. notices KIT’S arm is round BELL.)

      W. G. Balbus! Why are you doing that, Upjohn?

      BELL. Can’t you understand, W. G.?

      KIT. We are engaged, W. G. — congratulate me!

      W. G. (disgusted). Engaged. Oh, hang it, you’ll be no more use for anything!

      NANNY. And I am engaged to Mr. McPhail, dear, see!

      W. G. You too! What a confounded shame! (Flings down rod in a passion.) Look here, all of you, I had better tell you this at once, if you should have any babies — (They pull down their blinds — W. G. is standing on bank. JASPER cautiously peers round corner at W.G.) or — or that sort of thing, you needn’t expect me to hold the little beggars! (JASPER gets into punt, pushes chair beneath awning of it, pulls down awning so that SARAH is hidden from view, and is about to push off when W. G. crosses plank to stern.)

      W. G. Hullo, Colonel.

      JASPER (meekly). Is that you, W. G.?

      W. G. If you are going out on the river, I’ll come with you!

      JASPER. NO, W. G., I — I — am going away!

      W. G. Why? Because you were bowled for a duck’s egg? Look here, I know why it is. It is because you are disgusted with those asses for going and getting engaged. Well, so am I!

      JASPER. Goodbye, W. G.

      W. G. I say, you are not going to leave me all alone with four engaged people!

      JASPER. I must!

      W. G. Do they know?

      JASPER. NO.

      W. G. I’ll go and tell them! I say, the Colonel says he is going away!

      ALL (blinds up). Going away!

      JASPER. Yes, I — I — I —

      MRS GOLIGHTLY. But why, Colonel Neil?

      BELL (going closer to him). I understand!

      JASPER. You understand — I wish I did!

      NANNY (to ANDREW). DO you not see, he cannot remain here, when I am engaged to another!

      W. G. It is because they are engaged!

      BELL. Hush.

      W. G. But he told me it was!

      MRS. GOLIGHTLY (looking from one to another, and seeing that all seem to understand). Am I to understand, Colonel Neil, that you love —

      JASPER. Yes, that is it. I love her and it is too painful to me to stay on in the circumstances.

      (BELL and NANNY are much affected.)

      MRS. GOLIGHTLY. I see — I see!

      JASPER. I shall never forget your kindness!

      MRS. GOLIGHTLY. I am so grieved, but perhaps you act wisely in leaving us. If it must be so, Colonel Neil, goodbye!

      (Shakes his hand.)

      JASPER (aside). I’ll get off with a swagger yet! (With emotion) Goodbye!

      (NANNY and BELL break down, BELL goes into saloon.)

      ANDREW (on bow). Neil, (In low voice) Nanny has told me all. Do you return to Africa?

      JASPER. Tomorrow, among elephants and caterpillars!

      (Shakes hands.)

      ANDREW. I want to see you in London, what club do you belong to?

      JASPER. I belong to the Toilet Club.

      (ANDREW goes on deck, W. G. follows.)

      KIT. Colonel, Bell and I look upon you as a brother. Goodbye.

      W. G. I’ll punt you down.

      JASPER. No — no! I mean, I had better go alone. Ben will bring back the punt. Now to escape!

      NANNY (on bank). Colonel!

      (BELL on bank; they both beckon to him, he hesitates.)

      JASPER (aside). Shall I go and kiss them? No! Sarah’s behind! I belong to Sarah! (Waves them goodbye.) I have enjoyed myself — and now for Sarah and the shop!

      (PENNY stands at cabin window. He is now out of sight, distant music plays ‘Home, sweet Home.’ KIT, W. G., and ANDREW continue waving, MRS. GOLIGHTLY, NANNY, and BELL turn and face audience, MRS. GOLIGHTLY in centre.)

      W. G. Hi! Colonel, you’ve left your hat behind!

      JASPER (off). Oh, it’s nothing!

      MRS. GOLIGHTLY (at window). And now, dears, I am dying to know which of you it is!

      (Both press her hands and sigh.)

      Which?

      W. G. (on deck). We don’t even know where to write to him!

      MRS. GOLIGHTLY. He gave me his telegraphic address yesterday. Oh, I have lost it! (Runs to back of saloon.) Colonel, what did you say is your address?

      JASPER. What’s my what?

      MRS. GOLIGHTLY. Your address?

      JASPER (off). Walker, London.

      ALL. Walker, London.

      The Professor's Love Story

       Table of Contents

Table of Contents

       Act I

       Act II

       Act III

      Act I

       Table of Contents

      SCENE: The Professor’s study in London. Time: Half-past nine a m. As the curtain rises Effie enters with the morning letters which she places on the table. There is a moment’s comedy out of her reading inquisitively two postcards. The first evidently amuses her. The second, to which she takes a magnifying glass, puzzles her. Enter Lucy White.

      LUCY (catching her at it). Good morning, Effie.

      EFFIE (guiltily leaving letters). Good morning, Miss White.

      LUCY. Has the Professor seen his letters yet?

      EFFIE. No, he hasna come into the study yet. He’s no that length. (Importantly) The Doctor’s examining him again, tapping away at his chest as if it was the