The Innovative Parent. Erica Curtis

Chapter 4: Connect First

       A hidden language

       A doorway to talking

       Rebuild lost connection

       The ties that bind

       When kids struggle to connect

       Chapter 5: Raise Happy Kids

       Tolerating challenging feelings

       Releasing and containing feelings

       A reflection of the self

       De-Stress

       Confronting fears

       Chapter 6: Raise Successful Kids

       Maximize the nutritional content of art

       Why creative thinkers matter . . . a lot

       From preschool to graduate school

       But I am paying attention

       Hidden barriers to academic success

       Chapter 7: Tap Into Your Own Inner Artist

       Develop a creative mindset

       Find inspiration in the mundane

       Use mental imagery to get unstuck

       Access your inner resources

       Relax and recharge

       Epilogue

       Appendix 1: Guidelines for Talking about Art and Life

       Appendix 2: Supplies to Get Started

       Appendix 3: Where to Put All That Art

       Appendix 4: A Word on the Creative Arts Therapies

       References

       Index

       Preface

      The task of parenting is like passing a baton from one generation to the next.

      We all inherited a baton from our parents, which they inherited from theirs, and so on. Our parents did the best they could with whatever baton they were dealt. Perhaps they added decorative ribbons. Or made some cracks of their own in it. We were handed that baton—varnish, barbed wire, splinters, colorful paint, and all. We start with this.

      When we parent, we pass the baton to our children. What we hand to them, in part, is what we have inherited. But we can improve upon what we pass on to them. We can remove tattered ribbons. Sand down splinters. Polish it. Attach embellishments of our own. It won’t be perfect, but it can be better than before. And our children will have the same chance to make it better yet, for their children.

      This process of change requires innovation—creative thinking, experimentation, and learning from mistakes for improvement. Innovative parenting is a state of mind. It requires stretching yourself as a person. It means trying something different so that your children will do the same.

      Drawing, painting, cutting, taping, tearing, building, destroying, mixing, scraping, attaching, tracing, smearing, pounding, scratching, stamping, sticking, bending, sewing, dripping. Making art not only reflects what is going on inside but also has the capacity to transform it. As such, it holds a wealth of potential for enriching the lives of our children, as well as our own. I see this regularly in my art therapy practice and workshops, and at home with my own children. The experience of making, observing, and talking about art nurtures developing minds, emotional worlds, and relationships.

      What’s more, research supports this.

      This book pulls together anecdotal experience from years of clinical art therapy practice with children, teens, and parents, along with research from the fields of psychology, child development, creativity, anthropology, and neuroscience. It offers insight into children’s art as something more than refrigerator decor. We will explore how making and talking about art can help children make sense of emotions, build connections with others, cultivate empathy, develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills, process and retain information, and more. These are complex aspirations for something as seemingly simple as making art, yet therein lies the beauty of art for furthering the goals of parenting. It is wonderfully simple and doable. And fun. Good news for not-so-artsy folks: this book is for you, too.

      Far from being an arts and crafts book, The Innovative Parent is about breaking the conventional mold of parenting by applying creative thinking and exercises to raising children. At its essence, it’s about becoming an innovative parent. It not only offers creative tools for raising connected, happy, and successful kids but also empowers you to find your own creativity to survive tough times during the day and access parenting skills that you possess but lose in the moment—when stressed, tired, or overwhelmed.

      While this book is written for parents, it is also for anyone who cares for or works with children or adolescents: grandparents, caregivers, mentors, and professionals in education, mental health, community arts, health care, recreation, social services, spiritual care, and more. It empowers all to nurture kids with art, whether by opening communication, building tolerance for frustration, or teaching limits and responsibility. After all, the skills that children master when making and talking about art will last well beyond the activity itself and apply to other facets of their lives. Likewise, the skills that we adults master, when facilitating projects and commenting on art, will seep into other interactions with our children, helping us become more versatile, attuned, and resourceful as parents.

      This book focuses primarily on the use of visual arts to help you achieve your parenting goals. However, you will also find research and techniques involving movement, music, storytelling, theater, and writing. The undeniable benefits and ease with which you can apply these other art forms will provide you with additional tools and inspiration for your parenting adventure. You may even find yourself shifting from surviving to thriving in this creative process called parenting.

      Here’s to happy, healthy, and successful children, for generations to come. And here’s to you, the innovative parent.

       Acknowledgments

      We would like to offer a special thank-you to the young artists who filled this book with images: Darian (2), Isla (5), Corbyn (8), Maxine (14).

      Thank you, also, to our esteemed colleagues Einat Metzl and Pat Allen for your thoughtful and enthusiastic critique of the original manuscript. Your input has helped shape this book.

      To Ricky Huard, Sally Welch, Gillian Berchowitz, Jeff Kallet, Samara Rafert, Nancy Basmajian, Beth Pratt, and the others at Ohio University Press / Swallow Press for embracing our project wholeheartedly and bringing it to print.

      Our heartfelt gratitude to the many children, teens, parents, and families with whom we have worked, some of whose experiences have inspired stories in this book. It is an honor to partner with you and to bear witness to the creative and healing potential within.

      Finally, we offer gratitude to