Valentine M'Clutchy, The Irish Agent. William Carleton

by oppression, cruelty, or rapacity, to goad the people into madness and outrage, under the plausible name of law or justice; or to drive the national mind—which is a clear one—into reflections that may lead it to fall back upon first principles, or force it to remember that the universal consent by which the rights of property are acknowledged, may, under the exasperation of overstrained pressure, in a land so peculiarly circumstanced as Ireland is, be altogether withheld, and thus its whole foundations shaken or overturned, and the justice of individual claims and prescriptive right lost in the tumult.

      “These principles are simple, my Lord, but they ought at least to be better known, or what would be still more desirable, better practised. As, however, my paper is nearly filled, I shall finish my communication with a short fab!e, to which I beg your lordship's serious attention.

      “There lived a man once, who was foolish enough to entertain a senseless prejudice against cows, because they did not give milk all the year round. This man was married, and of course, had a numerous family of children, and being very lazy and improvident, depended principally upon the kindliness of an excellent cow, whose milk was the chief means of his support and theirs. At length in the due course of time, the poor cow, as every one must know, began to yield it in diminished quantities, and as it happened to be a severe year, and as the lazy man we speak of had made no provision for its occurrence, it is unnecessary to say that he and his family were put to the greatest straits for subsistence. Finding, after much deliberation, that the poor animal, which they kicked and cudgelled to excess could not change the laws of nature, or afford them that which she did not possess, it was determined by her proprietor, that as she failed in supplying them with sufficient milk they should try the fleams, and have recourse to her blood, in order to eke out their support. Accordingly she was bled, along with being milked; but if the quantity of milk she gave before was little, it now became less, so that in proportion as they drew upon the one the other diminished, as was but natural. In this way they proceeded, milking and bleeding the poor animal at the same time, not only without any benefit to themselves, but with a certain prospect of her ultimate loss, when one day the cow, after having ruminated for some time on the treatment she was receiving, began to reflect that she could not be much worse, or rather that she must soon altogether sink under this system of double drainage. 'Well' thought she, 'I feel how matters must close with me at last; I am indeed near the end of my tether; what have I now to fear when I know that I cannot be worse? And if I am to die, as I must, is it not better to have satisfaction for my sufferings'? Accordingly, me next morning when her owner went to get blood for their breakfast, it so happened that the cow thrust a horn into him, and he was found lying a corpse under her lifeless carcase—the last drop of her blood having been expended under the final operation of the fleams. My Lord, the moral of this is as obvious as it is fearful—and fearfully have the circumstances of the country, and the principles of such men as you, caused it to be illustrated. If landlords will press too severely upon the functions of human suffering and patience, it is not to be surprised, although it is to be deplored, that where no legal remedy exists against individual cruelty or rapacity, or that plausible selfishness, which is the worst species of oppression—that the law, I say, which protects only the one party should be forgotten or despised by the other, and a fiercer code of vengeance substituted in its stead.

      “With respect to Mr. M'Clutchy, surely your lordship must remember that by your own letter he was appointed under agent more than three years ago.

      “If, after the many remonstrances I have had occasion to make against his general conduct to the tenants, you consider him a useful man upon your property, you will, in that case, have to abide the consequences of your confidence in him. You are, at all events, duly forewarned.

      “I now must beg leave, my Lord, to render up my trust, to resign my situation as the agent of your estates—I do so with pain, but the course of your lordship's life has left me no other alternative. I cannot rack and goad your tenants, nor injure your own property. I cannot paralyze industry, cramp honest exertion, or distress poverty still further, merely to supply necessities which are little less than criminal in yourself and ruinous to your tenantry.

      “Believe me, my Lord, I would not abandon you in your difficulties, if I saw any honorable means of extricating you from them. You know, however, that every practicable step has been taken for that purpose, but without effect—your property should grow rapidly indeed, in order to keep pace with the increasing and incessant demands which are made upon it. We can borrow no more, and the knowledge of that fact alone, ought to set a limit to your extravagance. Excuse this plainness, my Lord, it is well meant and void of intentional offence.

      “I shall be ready in a few days to deliver all books, papers, documents, &c, connected With the property, to any person duly authorized by your Lordship to receive them.

      “I have the honor to be, &c,

      “Henby Hickman.”

      The Right Honorable Lord Cumber to Valentine M'Clutchy:—

      Doncaster, April, 18—

      “Sir:

      “In consequence of certain communications which have passed between Mr. Hickman and myself, I have determined that he shall no longer act in the capacity of my agent. The situation is therefore open, and, until a competent person shall be appointed, I authorize you to discharge its duties, and receive from him a correct statement of all accounts between us, together with all deeds, leases, books, papers, &c, in his possession; you first having procured me adequate security, the amount of which will be determined by M'Slime, my law agent, who will join or aid you in making all necessary arrangements.

      “You will also have the goodness, as soon afterwards as you feel it practicable, to transmit me a bond fide account of the Ballyrocket and Tulygrindem estates, their capability of improvement, condition of the tenantry, what leases are expired, if any, and those which will soon drop, with a view of seeing what can be made out of it. In this, also, M'Slime will aid you.

      “As to the person who may succeed Hickman, as a necessary preliminary he must lay down two thousand pounds, in the shape of an equivalent for the appointment. Could you within a fortnight or so, raise so much? If so, let me hear from you without delay, as it is not unlikely in that case, I may appoint yourself.

      “By the way, do you understand the manufacture of forty shilling free-holders in an economical way, because if you do, it would be a desideratum. Parliament, it is said, will be dissolved in June, and I want, as well as I can remember, nearly two hundred votes. My brother lost the last election by something about that number, and I know he feels very anxious to get into parliament for many reasons. He is now on the continent, where he has been for the last three years.”

      Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq., to the Right Hon. Lord Viscount Cumber:—

      “My Lord:

      “I have had the honor of receiving your Lordship's kind communication, to which I hasten to make the earliest possible reply. And first, my Lord, allow me to return sincere thanks for your warm kindness, in promising to appoint me your agent. You may rest assured, my Lord, that I will go through my duties as such without favor or affection to any one, barring your lordship, whose interests it will night and day become my duty to study. With, respect to the loan your lordship makes allusion to, I fear it will be out of my power to raise it—that is to the full amount; but if one-half would do, I might by the aid of friends get it together. As for security, I trust it is only necessary to say, that Randal Deaker and Cadwallader Tullywagger, Esqrs., are ready to give it to any amount, so that there is no difficulty there at all events.

      “On looking again at your lordship's kind letter, it appears possible that I made a mistake in considering the two thousand as a loan; but on the other hand, there is not a man living, who respects the high principles and delicate feelings of our aristocracy more than I do, and the consequence was, that I feared in supposing it otherwise than a loan, I might offend your lordship's keen sense of honor, which I pledge my credit and reputation would grieve my heart even to think of. Under this impression, then, I shall continue to believe it a loan, until I have the honor of hearing from your lordship again.

      “Your anxiety, my Lord, to