The Life You Left. Carmel Harrington

seemed puzzled and said that he’d not been absent from work at all. So I said to her that I must have him muddled up with someone else and I just hung up.’ James finished, never taking his eyes off his sister. He wished he could do something to take away the look of pure horror Sarah had on her face.

      Sarah felt completely bewildered. ‘If he got a promotion why didn’t he just tell me? Why didn’t he talk to me about moving to London? Did he think I’d not want to go? Why lie and tell me he’s depressed and out sick. What’s he playing at for goodness sake?’

      ‘I don’t know but this is far more serious than him just needing to sort his head out. He’s been lying to you about work and the country he’s in! What else is he lying about? I’m sorry but it doesn’t look good.’ James replied.

      Sarah suddenly felt her body go rigid with anger. She started to pace her kitchen and felt the urge to scream. Here she was coping with the children on her own, scraping to make ends meet whilst at the same time worrying about Paul, thinking he was suffering and depressed. She thought she was doing the right thing giving him space to sort himself out as he requested, but all along he was in London working away, not a bother on him. She’d bloody well kill him.

      He’d always been a bit flaky, she’d often felt let down by him over the years, but this was in a different league. She’d excused him missing birthdays or anniversaries, because in fairness he would always make it up to her. He’d come home and surprise her with a night away in ‘their’ hotel and they would have a blissful childfree twenty-four hours, where she’d remember what it was like to be a wife, a lover. She felt scared again and looked at her back door, wondering if she could simply run away herself. She wasn’t sure she had the strength to take anymore. But then she looked at the children jumping up and down on their trampoline, pure joy on their faces and she knew that she would have to face this, for their sake.

      ‘Do you have the address and number of where he is?’

      ‘I do.’ He handed a piece of paper over to her.

      ‘I’m going to ask Rita to take the kids for a few days next week after the funeral. I’m going to London. I’ve got to see him face to face and find out what the hell is going on.’ Sarah said, making the decision as she spoke.

      ‘You can’t go on your own. I’m in the middle of two cases at the minute in work, so leave it a week or so till I sort out some time off.’

      Sarah shook her head. ‘You’re a star, as always. But no, this one I’ve got to do on my own. If I need you, I’ll tell you. But this is my marriage or what’s left of it anyhow. I’ve got to sort this one out on my own.’

      ‘You’re taking this better than I thought you would.’ James said, a little surprised at how unemotional she seemed. He had expected tears at the very least.

      ‘I’m too angry right now. I’m furious with him, putting me and the kids through this. It’s all so unnecessary. I’ve wasted too many tears on him already; I’m not wasting any on him today.’ She finished defiantly.

      ‘Good for you!’ James responded, squeezing his sister’s shoulder. ‘You hold onto that anger. He deserves it, every bit of it. Sock it to him when you see him.’

      He jumped up and pulled out a bottle of red. ‘Pinot Noir for the young lady?’ Glancing at Sarah as she shook her head, he ignored her, deftly opening the bottle and pouring a glass for her. ‘You need this, you have to be in the right frame of mind for luuurrrvvve, Cilla!!!’

      Laughing half-heartedly, Sarah accepted the glass, taking a sip. ‘Cheers, bro. What I’d do without you I just don’t know.’

      ‘You’d be lost, alone and miserable, that’s what you’d be. A lucky girl you are that I’m your twin!’ He said with a big grin. ‘Now, wipe your daughter’s face, she’s covered in that orange mush she calls food!’

      Ella looked like she’d just pressed her face into the bowl; she had butternut squash and sweet potato puree all over her. ‘You little monkey!’ Sarah said laughing at her baby. Ella delighted that she was making her Mama laugh, started to bang her hand on the highchair table repeatedly, squealing loudly. She was such a joy to Sarah; she really couldn’t understand how Paul could just walk away from them all. She felt sorry for him for a minute. Had he any concept of what he was missing out on?

      Then the doorbell rang. Sarah indicated to James to take over with Ella and ran to the door. Joey was standing there with Benji in his arms. She didn’t know why, but she expected Benji to be a big dog. Joey was a big man, well over 6 foot and carried a bit of weight. He was as her mother would have said, round. So she’d expected a big old Labrador or something of that size. But Benji was a tiny Westie, a little white ball of fluff sitting comfortably in Joey’s arms.

      Sarah welcomed them both in and warned Joey that the kids would probably drive him mad, they were so excited.

      On cue Katie and Tommy ran into the house shouting in unison, ‘Can I hold him first?’

      Joey laughed at their enthusiasm. ‘I tell you what, Tommy. Let Katie have the first hold. Ladies first I always say. We men have to be gentlemen sometimes.’ He finished with a wink.

      Tommy stood up even straighter and agreed immediately. ‘You can hold her first, Katie.’ He said loudly. Then turning to Joey he whispered loudly. ‘She’s younger than me, so I have to let her have most things first you know.’

      Joey ruffled his hair saying, ‘Good boy. Now, Katie, sit down over there on that couch and I’ll put Benji in your lap. He loves been tickled under his chin. Yes, just like that!’

      Katie was giggling as she stroked Benji. ‘He’s lovely, Mammy! He’s so cute.’

      ‘I have a joke about a dog you know.’ Tommy said to Joey. ‘Do you want to hear it?’

      ‘I most certainly do!’ Joey answered. ‘I could always do with a good laugh!’

      Tommy took a deep breath and said, ‘What did the cowboy say when a bear ate Lassie?’

      Katie started to giggle and Joey declared he didn’t know.

      ‘Well doggone!’ Tommy shouted in his best cowboy voice, beaming as everyone started to laugh.

      ‘Tommy’s our resident comic.’ Sarah said to Joey.

      Within a few minutes both Rita and Mary had arrived and Sarah and James were introducing them to each other. Benji was a great icebreaker, as was Ella. It gave them all something to ooh and aah about as they got used to each other.

      James made sure that they all had a drink and they all sat down at the dining room table. Sarah placed the platter down in front of them all and watched happily as they all tucked in.

      ‘I’ve never had anything like this before.’ Joey said to Sarah in between mouthfuls, his eyes wide with awe as he took in all the colours and smells on the big platter.

      ‘What’s these fellas called again?’

      ‘Bruschetta.’ Katie and Tommy said at the same time.

      ‘Bruschetta.’ Joey said, rolling the word over his tongue. ‘Never heard tell of them before. But they’re lovely. Very tasty, Sarah.’

      Tommy and Katie kept repeating the word Bruschetta over and over, laughing away at their own jokes. It was good to see them so happy, there had been far too much sadness in this house lately. Ever since Paul disappeared it was as if his departure also took a lot of the joy out of their house too. Sarah vowed to find ways to make her children laugh again, every day. ‘You’ve gone to so much trouble.’ Rita said to her daughter in law.

      ‘Ah, it’s nothing. It’s worth it, just seeing those two so happy.’ Sarah said, nodding at the children. ‘We eat like this every day don’t we kids?’

      Tommy picked up his napkin and dramatically dabbed the side of his mouth before saying, ‘Yes, Mama, we dine every night with three courses and the good silverware!’