The Life You Left. Carmel Harrington

snapped at her.

      ‘Rita, I don’t want your money. You’re on a pension and I’ll not take it. But I do want something from you, I need Paul’s number. I don’t believe you when you say you have no idea where he is. It is beyond ridiculous that the only way I have to contact my own husband, the father of my three children, is by email!’

      Rita started to cry. ‘I’m not sure where he is. I swear it. He always rings me with his number blocked so I can’t call him back. He won’t tell me where he is or what he’s doing. I begged him yesterday to come home. Honestly Sarah, I begged and begged him.’

      Sarah could see how upset Rita was and that she was telling the truth. She had no reason to doubt her. ‘What did he say?’ Sarah asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

      ‘He hung up.’ Rita answered quietly. ‘I don’t know where he is but I don’t think he’s coming back anytime soon.’

      Sarah fell back into her chair at this last statement. ‘How did he sound?’ she asked desperately. She needed some kind of an explanation as to how or why her husband could just abandon her and the children like this. ‘It’s not good enough. He has responsibilities. I don’t have the luxury of being depressed. I don’t have the bloody time!’ She finished angrily.

      Rita reddened a little bit. ‘It’s awful for you. I’m ashamed of him, I really am. I don’t know how he could go off like that, leaving you and the kids behind. You’re a great mother and a great wife. He doesn’t deserve you, he really doesn’t.’

      Sarah held her mother-in–law’s hand. She knew that this was hard for her too. She must miss her son, as much as she missed her husband.

      Do you miss him though? a tiny thought popped into her head. And she wasn’t even sure if she did truth be told. Paul was rarely at home in the past couple of years. He worked long hours most days. He was rubbish with the practical side of looking after the kids; she wasn’t sure he’d ever given them a bath; he rarely fed or even dressed them. She had often moaned that she felt like she was a single mother long before he’d actually left her.

      So what did she actually miss - the idea of having a husband or the physical presence of Paul? Did she even love him anymore? She closed her eyes and pictured his face and realised despite all of his flaws, he was her husband and she loved him and more importantly, the children adored him. She’d just gotten used to doing things on her own she supposed. However Paul working long hours and not being very hands-on at home and Paul disappearing completely into thin air were two different things altogether. Once she found him, she vowed to work harder at being a couple, not just being parents.

      She looked at her mother-in-law and asked, ‘Did he say anything about his job? He told me that he was out on sick leave. But surely even when he’s out sick, he should still be getting paid? I’ve sent him several emails and got no response. His mobile says that it’s no longer in use. I’m running out of patience, not to mention money.’

      ‘Sarah, I don’t know how to tell you this, but last night when we spoke, he didn’t sound depressed. He sounded happy. I’m so sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.’

      ‘Happy? What is going on with him? Has he left us for good? Does he think that he can just break up a ten year marriage with just a couple of emails?’ Sarah finished in a small voice.

      ‘I don’t know. I really don’t.’ Rita replied.

      ‘Listen, if he calls again; tell him I’m not going to row with him. Tell him to call me for the children’s sake, if nothing else.’

      Rita nodded. ‘I will; he promised he’d be in touch next week. I’m going to try harder to get a contact number or address. I’ll tell him I’ve been sick and I’m worried if something happens to me, nobody could contact him.’

      Sarah got up and gave her mother in law a hug. ‘Thank you for that and for all your help with the children. I’d be lost without you.’ She felt sorry for her all of a sudden. She could tell she was deeply embarrassed by her son, but he was still her son and she missed him too.

      ‘It’s my pleasure. I look forward to the days that you need me to mind them. I’m lonely here on my own, especially since Thomas died.’ Rita’s husband had been dead for five years now.

      Sarah felt her guilt double at that admission. She rarely invited Rita over to her house anymore.

      ‘You’ll have to come over some weekend for dinner.’ Sarah said kindly.

      ‘That would be great, love.’ Rita replied with a big smile. ‘I can come anytime.’

      ‘That’s a plan so. Right, better get these kids home to bed.’ Sarah called out for them and gathered up Ella from her playpen.

      ‘By the way Sarah, I nearly forgot to tell you, I bumped into Mae Shiggins yesterday, Ruby’s mother – she’s back home!’

      ‘Goodness, I’ve not spoken to her in years. Since Katie was a toddler I’d say.’ Sarah smiled as she thought of her old friend. There was a time when they had done everything together. She often thought of her and regretted how much they’d drifted apart.

      ‘You should give her a call.’ Rita urged.

      ‘Maybe.’ Sarah replied, without any conviction. They’d nothing in common now; she doubted Ruby would even remember her.

       Chapter Seven

      Sarah picked up the phone to call her brother. ‘Are you working on Saturday afternoon?’ she asked when he answered the phone.

      ‘Nope, why?’ he answered, curiosity piqued.

      ‘You’re invited to lunch, so. I’ve asked Rita over and Mary Donegan. Oh, and Joey our postman is coming too.’

      ‘Whoa there! Rita, I understand. Mary, at a push. But Joey, the postman? What on earth are you doing inviting him for?’ James asked incredulously.

      ‘It’s a long story. But long story short he’s lonely. So I’ve asked him over for lunch. And Mary is looking to date someone. She told me so on the phone. They’re both roughly the same age. Sure you never know they might even get on.’ Sarah blurted out.

      James started to laugh. ‘You’re match-making a woman you barely know with the local postman! Incredible. Only you could come up with a hare-brained scheme like that! Does either of them know what you’re up to?’

      ‘Erm, yes and no. Mary knows that Joey has been lonely. She knows I’m trying to help him, and she said she’d love to meet him.’ Sarah said. What she didn’t know was that Sarah had hoped they would fall into each other’s arms over the dessert course, declaring undying love. It could happen. Maybe.

      ‘So why is Rita coming then?’ James added. ‘Is she bringing her son with her by any chance?’ He finished sarcastically.

      ‘Watch out you could cut yourself, you are so sharp!’ Sarah snapped back. ‘If you must know, Rita has been very supportive. And she’s mortified about Paul. She’s trying her best to help me track him down. She was just delighted to be asked for lunch. She loves spending time with the kids.’

      ‘So what about this Joey dude. Does he know you’re doing your own version of Take Me Out?’

      ‘No of course he doesn’t. We’ve been chatting a bit lately and I’ve been telling him how upset the kids are about Rachel Finch. He has a dog called Benji. So I asked him to bring the dog over for the kids to play with as they have been going on and on for ages about getting a dog. It’ll cheer them up and I’ve asked him to talk to them about the responsibilities of owning a puppy. If I do ever get them a dog for Christmas, and that’s a big if, I want to make sure they are on board with every aspect. I clean enough poop every day with Ella’s nappies without adding a puppy into the mix thank