Why Beulah Shot Her Pistol Inside the Baptist Church. Clayton Sullivan

as deep as he can.”

      After Ralph had calmed down he said, “You know something, Beulah, this is Sunday. And I ain’t been to church. I can’t believe it. I never miss goin’ to church. But since this is my honeymoon I guess it’s okay for me to miss goin’ one time. I bet Brother Ledbetter preached a riproaring sermon this morning. That’s what I like about his sermons. They’re always rip-roaring. If he’s not preaching on the book of Revelations he’s preaching on the blood. If he’s not preaching on the blood he’s preaching against divorce. If he’s not preaching against divorce he’s preaching against women cuttin’ their hair and using makeup. Brother Ledbetter really knows how to lay it on the line.”

      Ralph kept on talking about Brother Ledbetter and what a great preacher he was and how he believed Brother Ledbetter had the second blessing which explains why he was such a great preacher. I didn’t understand what Ralph meant by saying that Brother Ledbetter had the second blessing. I started to ask him to explain what it meant but I decided not to. Maybe some day I’d understand what the second blessing was all about.

      We turned off of U.S. 90 and got on U.S. 49 and headed north for Hattiesburg and Jones County and New Jerusalem. While we was headin’ north on U.S. 49 Ralph said, “I’m anxious to get on back home. When I ain’t there ‘Ralph’s Place’ falls apart.” “Ralph’s Place” is the name of Ralph’s barbecue cafe and meat market. He went on to say, “And besides that I’m always afraid the help will steal me blind when I’m not there to keep my eye on the cash register.”

      We got back to Ralph’s farm about nine o’clock at night. After we’d gone inside the house Ralph said, “I’m hungry. That Big Mac ain’t gonna hold me. I know there’s some wieners in the refrigerator and some buns in the breadbox. Let’s you and me fix us some hotdogs before we go to bed.”

      Which is what we did. We boiled the wieners and toasted the buns and fixed hotdogs which we ate along with potato chips and two glasses of milk. We then went to bed. Ralph wore his bright red pajamas again. I could tell he was horny. So we had pussy again. He done it the same way he’d done it at the Twinkling Star Motel. He done it quick and to the point.

      Early Monday morning Ralph rolled out of bed. He shaved and took a bath. I could tell he was in a hurry. He said, “I usually eat breakfast before I leave but not this morning. I’ll grab me a bite somewhere. I want to get to the store and see what kind of business we done on Saturday.” He went on to say, “Beulah, make yourself at home. Look around the house and see where everything is. I’ll be home this evening around seven. I want you to be sure and have me a good hot supper when I get here. The hotter the better.”

      With that Ralph hustled down the back steps. He got in his pickup truck and headed out for Laurel. He took off like a house on fire.

      The first thing I done after Ralph left was to fix me a little breakfast. I ate some Cheerios and wheat toast. I then did what Ralph told me to do. I looked his house over. The first room I looked at was the living room. It had a sofa, a coffee table, and three stuffed chairs along with a rug on the floor that had a lot of blue flowers on it. Drapes were over the windows. There was pictures on the wall that I thought was real nice. One picture had a bubbling stream of water with lots of trees and mountains in the background. A pretty little deer was sipping water out of the stream.

      The next room I looked over was the dining room. In the dining room was a big table with eight chairs around it. Next to the wall was a china cabinet with glass doors. There was enough dishes in the china cabinet to feed the Russian army.

      I went through all the bedrooms. There was three of them. All of them had double beds along with a dresser in each one. On one dresser was three pictures of a young boy. I could tell they was pictures of Oscar. I recognized Oscar because Ralph was all time bringing him to the New Jerusalem Baptist Church. On another dresser was four pictures of a woman. They were pictures of Ruth Ann. I wished they were not there. I wished Ralph had put them up somewhere before he brought me home to be his wife.

      I looked over the two bathrooms. Each one of them had a tub, a lavatory, and a commode. I could tell they was old. They reminded me of the bathroom at the Twinkling Star Motel.

      And then there was a kitchen which had a stove and a refrigerator and a table with a lot of pots and pans hanging over it. The kitchen had a pantry with still more pots and pans and with all kinds of groceries on the shelves. I could see everything from black pepper to sugar to cans of sardines. Out on the backporch was two deepfreezers which Ralph kept locked all the time.

      I could tell a lot of Ralph’s furniture was old. I found out later it’d belonged to his daddy’s mother. But some of it wasn’t old. Ralph told me he’d bought some of his furniture from Hudson’s Bankrupt Store in Hattiesburg.

      Out in the back of the house was a garage and a barn. Both of ’em was painted white.

      Before Ralph left to go to his cafe I’d told him I was gonna take his car and drive over to Mama and Daddy’s house and load the car up with my stuff. By “stuff” I mean shoes and clothes and underwear. Ralph had said, “That’ll be fine with me.” Which is what I done. I drove over to Mama and Daddy’s house. Daddy wasn’t there. He’d gone to his job at the Masonite plant. But Mama was there. And so was my baby sister Earline. I pulled up in front of the house and got out of the car. Earline came out of the house. I could tell she was upset. She came to where I was and whispered, “Mama is still mad about you marrying Ralph. She hadn’t stopped poutin’. She won’t say nothing to me and she won’t say nothing to Daddy. It’s been like a briar patch around here.” Earline went on and said, “Mama is acting like a donkey.” I said, “I’ve come by to pick up my clothes and shoes so I can take ’em to Ralph’s.” Earline said, “I’ll help you bring ’em out. But don’t say anything to Mama. Just pretend she ain’t here.” Earline and me went inside to my room. Earline and me took my clothes out to the car and put ’em on the back seat. I’d brought two cardboard boxes that was on Ralph’s back porch. Earline and me put my odds and ends in these two boxes. All the time I was moving my stuff out Mama stayed in the kitchen. She wasn’t sayin’ nothing. Like Earline said, she was pouting. The last thing me and Earline needed to get out of my room was my shoes. As I was gettin’ ready to go back in the house and get my shoes you won’t believe what happened. Mama come out on the front porch. She had my shoes in her hands. She took my shoes and threw all of them out in the yard. She threw ’em at me like they was trash. Without sayin’ a word she turned around and walked back in the house. As she walked back in she slammed the door. Her doin’ that made me feel awful. Just awful. If I live to be as old as Methuselah I’ll never forget the hurt I felt on the inside of me when Mama threw my shoes out in the front yard. I had tears in my eyes. Earline said, “I can’t believe Mama did that.” But that’s sure what she did. Some mamas and daddies think that simply because they’re your Mama or your daddy that gives them the right to be just as mean to you as they want to be. They don’t know that you’ve got feelings too.

      I took my clothes and shoes back to Ralph’s and put ’em in the bedroom. Ralph had told me that morning he wanted a hot supper ready for him when he got home. So about six o’clock I started fixin’ Ralph’s supper. I wanted it to be a good one. Particularly since it was the first one I’d cooked for him. If there was anything I knew how to do, it was cook. I’d helped Mama out in the kitchen since I was knee-high to a turtle. Before he left Ralph had told me where the key to the deepfreezers was. He’d said, “I keep the deepfreezer keys in the brass teapot over the sink.” Sure enough, that’s where they were. I unlocked one of the deepfreezers and took out some corn and lima beans. I cooked them along with two sweet potatoes. I cooked a pan of Mexican cornbread and fried some porkchops. I made a big pitcher of iced tea. When Ralph got home that evening I had him the best vegetable dinner you’ve ever seen. I was real proud of it. It was the works: corn on the cob, lima beans, sweet potatoes, pork chops, and Mexican cornbread with iced tea. He and I sat down and ate at the kitchen table. Ralph ate like he was Noah the day he come off the ark. When he was through he looked at me and said, “Beulah, I’m here to tell you that you’re one terrific cook.” Him saying that made me feel good. It really did.

      When he’d finished