The Witches of Traquair and Other Tales from Scottish Highlands. James Hogg

"This beats all the customers I ever met with! Ha—ha—ha! Come to Widow Wilson's, and you shall have payment for your boots,—double payment for your boots,—triple payment for your boots! Oh! the man's as mad as a March hare! He—he—he—he!"

      "Hilloa, George," cried a voice close at his ear, "what's the matter wi' ye? Are ye gane daft? Are ye no gaun to rise to your wark the day?"

      "Aich! Gudeness guide us, mother, am I no up yet?" cried George, springing out of his bed; for he had been all the while in a sound sleep, and dreaming. "What gart ye let me lie sae lang? I thought I had been i' the shop!"

      "Shop!" exclaimed she; "I daresay, then, you thought you had found a fiddle in't. What were ye guffawing and laughing at?"

      "O! I was laughing at a fat man, and the payment of a pair o' boots at Widow Wilson's, in Hawick."

      "Widow Wilson's, i' Hawick!" exclaimed his mother, holding up both her hands; "Gude forgie me for a great leear, if I hae dreamed about ony body else, frae the tae end o' the night to the tither!"

      "Houts, mother, haud your tongue; it is needless to heed your dreams, for ye never gie ower dreaming about somebody."

      "And what for no, lad? Hasna an auld body as good a right to dream as a young ane? Mrs Wilson's a throughgaun quean, and clears mair than a hunder a-year by the Tannage. I'se warrant there sall something follow thir dreams; I get the maist o' my dreams redd."

      George was greatly tickled with his dream about the fat gentleman and the boots, and so well convinced was he that there was some sort of meaning in it, that he resolved to go to Hawick the next market day, and call on Mrs Wilson, and settle with her; although it was a week or two before his usual term of payment, he thought the money would scarcely come wrong. So that day he plied and wrought as usual; but instead of his favourite ditties relating to the Forest, he chanted, the whole day over, one as old as any of them; but I am sorry I recollect only the chorus and a few odd stanzas of it.

      ROUND ABOUT HAWICK.

      We'll round about Hawick, Hawick,

       Round about Hawick thegither;

       We'll round about Hawick, Hawick,

       And in by the bride's gudemither.

       Sing, Round about Hawick, &c.

      And as we gang by we will rap,

       And drink to the luck o' the bigging;

       For the bride has her tap in her lap,

       And the bridegroom his tail in his rigging.

       Sing, Round about Hawick, &c.

      There's been little luck i' the deed;

       We're a' in the dumps thegither;

       Let's gie the bridegroom a sheep's head,

       But gie the bride brose and butter.

       Sing, Round about Hawick, &c.

      Then a' the gudewives i' the land

       Came flocking in droves thegither,

       A' bringing their bountith in hand,

       To please the young bride's gudemither.

       Sing, Round about Hawick, &c.

      The black gudewife o' the Braes

       Gae baby-clouts no worth a button;

       But the auld gudewife o' Penchrice

       Cam in wi' a shouder o' mutton.

       Sing, Round about Hawick, &c.

      Wee Jean o' the Coate gae a pun',

       A penny, a plack, and a boddle;

       But the wife at the head o' the town

Gae nought but a lang pin-todle.[A] Sing, Round about Hawick, &c.

      The mistress o' Bortugh cam ben,

       Aye blinking sae couthy and canny;

       But some said she had in her han'

       A kipple o' bottles o' branny.

       Sing, Round about Hawick, &c.

      And some brought dumples o' woo,

       And some brought flitches o' bacon,

       And kebbucks and cruppocks enow;

       But Jenny Muirhead brought a capon.

       Sing, Round about Hawick, &c.

      Then up cam the wife o' the Mill,

       Wi' the cog, and the meal, and the water;

       For she likit the joke sae weel

       To gie the bride brose and butter.

       Sing, Round about Hawick, &c.

      And first she pat in a bit bread,

       And then she pat in a bit butter,

       And then she pat in a sheep's head,

       Horns and a'thegither!

       Sing, Round about Hawick, Hawick,

       Round about Hawick thegither;

       Round about Hawick, Hawick,

       Round about Hawick for ever

      On the Thursday following, George, instead of going to the shop, dressed himself in his best Sunday clothes, and, with rather a curious face, went ben to his stepmother, and inquired "what feck o' siller she had about her?"

      "Siller! Gudeness forgie you, Geordie, for an evendown waster and a profligate! What are ye gaun to do wi' siller the day?"

      "I have something ado ower at Hawick, and I was thinking it wad be as weel to pay her account when I was there."

      "Oho, lad! are ye there wi' your dreams and your visions o' the night, Geordie? Ye're aye keen o' sangs, man; I can pit a vera gude ane i' your head. There's an unco gude auld thing they ca', Wap at the widow, my laddie. D'ye ken it, Geordie? Siller! quo he! Hae ye ony feck o' siller, mother! Whew! I hae as muckle as will pay the widow's account sax times ower! Ye may tell her that frae me. Siller! lack-a-day!—But, Geordie, my man—Auld wives' dreams are no to be regardit, ye ken. Eh?"

      After putting half a dozen pairs of trysted shoes, and the identical silver-mounted boots, into the cadger's creels—then the only regular carriers—off set George Dobson to Hawick market, a distance of nearly eleven new-fashioned miles, but then accounted only eight and three quarters; and after parading the Sandbed, Slitterick Bridge, and the Tower Knowe, for the space of an hour, and shaking hands with some four or five acquaintances, he ventured east-the-gate to pay Mrs Wilson her account. He was kindly welcomed, as every good and regular customer was, by Mrs Wilson. They settled amicably, and in the course of business George ventured several sly, jocular hints, to see how they would be taken, vexed that his grand and singular dream should go for nothing. No, nothing would pass there but sterling cent per cent. The lady was deaf and blind to every effort of gallantry, valuing her own abilities too highly ever to set a man a second time at the head of her flourishing business. Nevertheless, she could not be blind to George's qualifications—he knew that was impossible,—for in the first place he was a goodly person, with handsome limbs and broad square shoulders; of a very dark complexion, true, but with fine, shrewd, manly features; was a burgess and councillor of the town of Selkirk, and as independent in circumstances as she was.

      Very well; Mrs Wilson knew all this—valued George Dobson accordingly, and would not have denied him any of those good points more than Gideon Scott would to a favourite Cheviot tup, in any society whatever; but she had such a sharp, cold, business manner, that George could discover no symptoms where the price of the boots was to come from. In order to conciliate matters as far as convenient, if not even to stretch a point, he gave her a farther order, larger than the one just settled; but all that he elicited was thanks for his custom, and one very small glass of brandy; so he drank her health, and a good husband to her. Mrs Wilson only courtseyed, and thanked him coldly, and away George set west-the-street,