THE COMEDY OF ERRORS. William Shakespeare

ANGELO.

       You hear how he importunes me: the chain,—

       ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.

       Why, give it to my wife, and fetch your money.

       ANGELO.

       Come, come, you know I gave it you even now;

       Either send the chain or send by me some token.

       ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.

       Fie! now you run this humour out of breath:

       Come, where’s the chain? I pray you, let me see it.

       MERCHANT.

       My business cannot brook this dalliance:

       Good sir, say whe’r you’ll answer me or no;

       If not, I’ll leave him to the officer.

       ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.

       I answer you! What should I answer you?

       ANGELO.

       The money that you owe me for the chain.

       ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.

       I owe you none till I receive the chain.

       ANGELO.

       You know I gave it you half-an-hour since.

       ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.

       You gave me none: you wrong me much to say so.

       ANGELO.

       You wrong me more, sir, in denying it:

       Consider how it stands upon my credit.

       MERCHANT.

       Well, officer, arrest him at my suit.

       OFFICER.

       I do; and charge you in the duke’s name to obey me.

       ANGELO.

       This touches me in reputation:

       Either consent to pay this sum for me,

       Or I attach you by this officer.

       ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.

       Consent to pay thee that I never had!

       Arrest me, foolish fellow, if thou dar’st.

       ANGELO.

       Here is thy fee; arrest him, officer:—

       I would not spare my brother in this case,

       If he should scorn me so apparently.

       OFFICER.

       I do arrest you, sir: you hear the suit.

       ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.

       I do obey thee till I give thee bail:—

       But, sirrah, you shall buy this sport as dear

       As all the metal in your shop will answer.

       ANGELO.

       Sir, sir, I shall have law in Ephesus,

       To your notorious shame, I doubt it not.

       [Enter DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.]

       DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.

       Master, there’s a bark of Epidamnum

       That stays but till her owner comes aboard,

       And then, sir, bears away: our fraughtage, sir,

       I have convey’d aboard; and I have bought

       The oil, the balsamum, and aqua-vitae.

       The ship is in her trim; the merry wind

       Blows fair from land; they stay for nought at all

       But for their owner, master, and yourself.

       ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.

       How now! a madman? Why, thou peevish sheep,

       What ship of Epidamnum stays for me?

       DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.

       A ship you sent me to, to hire waftage.

       ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.

       Thou drunken slave! I sent the for a rope;

       And told thee to what purpose and what end.

       DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.

       You sent me, sir, for a rope’s end as soon:

       You sent me to the bay, sir, for a bark.

       ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.

       I will debate this matter at more leisure,

       And teach your ears to list me with more heed.

       To Adriana, villain, hie thee straight:

       Give her this key, and tell her, in the desk

       That’s cover’d o’er with Turkish tapestry

       There is a purse of ducats; let her send it:

       Tell her I am arrested in the street,

       And that shall bail me: hie thee, slave; be gone.

       On, officer, to prison till it come.

       [Exeunt MERCHANT, ANGELO, OFFICER, and ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.]

       DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.

       To Adriana! that is where we din’d,

       Where Dowsabel did claim me for her husband:

       She is too big, I hope, for me to compass.

       Thither I must, although against my will,

       For servants must their masters’ minds fulfil.

       [Exit.]

      SCENE 2. The same.

       [Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA.]

       ADRIANA.

       Ah, Luciana, did he tempt thee so?

       Might’st thou perceive austerely in his eye

       That he did plead in earnest, yea or no?

       Look’d he or red or pale, or sad or merrily?

       What observation mad’st thou in this case

       Of his heart’s meteors tilting in his face?

       LUCIANA.

       First he denied you had in him no right.

       ADRIANA.

       He meant he did me none; the more my spite.

       LUCIANA.

       Then swore he that he was a stranger here.

       ADRIANA.

       And true he swore, though yet forsworn he were.

       LUCIANA.

       Then pleaded I for you.

       ADRIANA.

       And what said he?

       LUCIANA.

       That love I begg’d for you he begg’d of me.

       ADRIANA.

       With what persuasion did he tempt thy love?

       LUCIANA.

       With words that in an honest suit might move.

       First he did praise my beauty, then my speech.

       ADRIANA.

       Didst speak him fair?

       LUCIANA.

       Have patience, I beseech.

       ADRIANA.

       I cannot, nor I will not hold me still;

       My tongue, though not my heart, shall have his will.

       He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,

       Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless everywhere;

       Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind;

       Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.