Crazy Detective. Funny detective. StaVl Zosimov Premudroslovsky

kitchen doorway and exclaimed:

      – In! I caught it! – and tossed into the middle of the old man, who spent thirty-eight years in the zones. This was evident from the tattoos on the whole body. His tattoos warmed like a shirt, and so he only walked in his underpants, and even in winter. The old man froze in anticipation of the beat.

      – What is it? asked Klop.

      – Wooh, apchi, this shnir the same hemp rubbed in the trash, and even signed the grandmother Key. – Arutun leaned on the jamb with his elbow.

      – Yeah?! – surprised Klop. – And what, she is also rubbing?

      – Yes, even how, she dashed such a bash, – and pulled a billiard hash ball out of his pocket.

      – Is that all hash? – He extended his hand and took the ball. He turned it in his face, sniffed, threw it. – Fifteen years will pull. Confiscate. Well, what do you say, grandpa?

      – He’s lying. – the old man crouched on the floor. – it’s not my thing.

      – And whose? apchi.

      – Yours, it’s him.. and hangs on us, and Claudia and I just fucked in the bushes. In general, this horse shit.

      – What? – exploded Intsephalopath. – It is interesting what the horse did in the garbage dump, plucked grass, which does not grow there? Or gear? And hemp was eating, life was steaming up, the owner – schmuck, so he decided to forget. And then it impatient.

      – No, I remembered. Some shepherd was passing by. He picked up a bag or rubbed it and left. And what? It is popular, without security, but there is no money for swipes. And so I want to forget. So the shepherd drove in.

      – Fuck, you say? – The bug climbed into a chair. – It is not difficult to check in the clinic in the morning.

      “Who are you listening to, Boss, apchi,” Harutun grinned. – It was like this: the grandmother Klava is naked, all smeared with petroleum jelly, you, because she couldn’t smear her back? I ran around the trash, getting lost on hemp bushes.

      – Running? – grinned the old man.

      – In the beginning you showed her, but you are smelly, and she is still a woman, albeit old. And in the bushes you did not fuck, and you scrubbed the blissful dust that had stuck with a knife from her body, sticking it into a ball. And you threw the knife there and in the morning we will find it and your fingerprints on it, and on the knife sting – gash, that is, dope.

      The old man silently lay and looked in surprise. After all, everything was as suggested by the version of Harutun?!

      – And how she still has not pricked her leg, an old fool. After all, there all the village shit has been from owl depot times.

      – Vo said! – the Bedbug became proud of his subordinates. – and from where did you calculate this, colleague?

      – He, I saw it myself, I wanted to take it off my mobile, but the battery was dead.

      – Sorry. – Klop sighed.

      – What exactly? Apchi. asked Klop.

      – It is a pity that the battery is dead. – I threw the tears from my chair and walked around the room. – I don’t have to move my brains.

      – Yes, all this nonsense, boss. Shit is horse-drawn, and if not, I’m not caught red-handed and everything here is just a run over for the quarterly report for the award. – concluded the old man and began to get up.

      – Sit, apchi, bastard! – shoved Harutun the old man. – what shall we do, Patron?

      – This is an abuse of authority! – the old man was indignant.

      – And you are silent! Ottila barked. – Examination will show. You are guilty, and if you want to go to the zone, you will sit until the morning when the expert laboratory arrives. Or, I assign you one hundred hours of work in the household. courtyard stronghold.

      – Where is it? – asked the old man in shorts lying on the kitchen floor.

      – Get up and shake it off, detained. Harutun will explain everything to you along the way. Yes, Harutun, I almost forgot: take a purely heartfelt confession from him in case you didn’t show up for work, find a knife, just don’t touch it with your hands, wrap it in a bag. And you, old one, if you will gloriously work out, you will cost only a centner of the boar.

      – In, yet? – the old man was indignant. – Where will I get it?

      – Shut up, apchi, when the Boss makes a verdict.

      – Uh, by the way, you can cut it. Go, tomorrow at six o’clock, mining begins. Yes, and take a toothbrush with you, and I’ll find you a bowl. Look, you will eat with the dog in turn. If Polkan permits. You’ll sleep in the bathhouse.

      – And can the last word be? asked the grandfather.

      – Go ahead!

      – And who will command?

      – Just me. Go on. And do not forget about the boar…

      Ancephalopath led the old man to the exit from the stronghold and walked quickly to the Boss.

      – Che, let’s get it? apchi!

      – What? Are you a colleague, a drug addict?

      – No, what are you. But I thought that, apchi, it is necessary to conduct an examination?! And immediately.. And then … – Harutun hesitated.

      – But the fact that? Sour? – examining the bash from all sides asked Ottil.

      – No. But expertise. After all, the verdict has already been passed?!

      – By whom? The judge?

      – No, apchi, by you, but you have the right to a pre-trial verdict of especially minor offenses, especially before bedtime just…

      – Well, come on, but only for the sake of a working conclusion.

      They beat a cigarette and sat down to smoke.

      Morning was approaching and they were sitting at the table and reasoning like Holmes and Watson, all the more so since Holmes was smoking opium and this did not stop him from making deductive conclusions. But Watson only drank whiskey, cherry, thumped shorter, like Lestrade, and because of this they were dumb and were a cut below Sherlock. Alcohol dulls the mind, so the Government of the world permits, booze and prohibits the sprouting on Earth. But the fool doesn’t need to eat anything at all. He is because he is a fool and knows no measure. But both of them were dissenters and on this they reasoned like that.

      – Campaign here in the village, someone planted Chuy hemp and blat the village. – Started Bedbug.

      – But who? apchi, idot or old man? – continued Harutun.

      – Or maybe a third party? And these can only be witnesses of what happened and decided to get ahead, having tried.

      – Toad, apchi.

      – What, toad?

      – The old man’s name, apchi, – Toad.

      – Toad? Heh. Let there be a Toad… A white toad in honor of a white swan.

      – What? apchi.

      – No, nothing. Well, what, go?!.. But no. Wait… Come on, eat it together?!

      Harutun opened his eyes and threw out his tongue slightly in surprise.

      – Not against? he asked, squinting his eyes maliciously at Ottil. – you didn’t eat all day and night according to the plans of addicts drove?

      – Yes, apchi, exactly. – clapping his hands, Harutun ran up abruptly and sat in another chair.

      – Che sat down? –