Crazy Detective. Funny detective. StaVl Zosimov Premudroslovsky

person. It is very difficult for the old to survive in this world at the bottom.

      – Mdaa… but didn’t you ask them about their nose?

      – No, it didn’t even come to mind.. – Harutun weaved slowly behind the Boss and chewed his tongue as usual, – even though, stop! – he exclaimed, – yes, I heard that he was pitted on copper to the nearest reception, and those – they died in an antique store.

      – Who, those? – Ottila stopped.

      – Well, from the reception point they handed over to an antique store.

      – And in which one?

      – And in the central one, behind the Kazan Cathedral.

      – Let’s go. And then, suddenly they sold it?

      They still came out of Mos. Bana on Nevsky Prospect. Dvizhuha. Ottila went to the aunt standing on the sidewalk and asked:

      – And where the fuck. Kazan Cathedral?

      – Nah?

      – That is: located.

      – You’re not Russian? guest or guest worker?

      – No. I am a district police officer.

      – Clear. Walk along the Nevsky, towards Palace Square and on the left side you will see the Cathedral.

      – Thank. Health to you and your children … – Before the Bedbug thanked and went with Incephalopath along the sidewalk.

      The case was completed successfully. The monument was returned to its place and put under the alarm and video surveillance.

      Bedbug and Incephalopath received from Marshall gratitude in the form of a prize and readiness to expect a new business.

      Bedbug sat in his office and, talking with Incefalapat, with his wife and children, talked about the adventures, omitting details of the humiliations that occurred during the investigation. Of course, the sad things were lowered and replaced with heroic fictitious acts… In short, they laughed with a bang…

      CASE №2

      BLOOD OBJECT

      Apulase FIRST

      Five years of boring collective farm life passed, and Ottila began to get drunk with Intsefalapatom, more precisely, he was drinking Solop intentionally in order to take possession of his wife. And Bug in the mind, it suited. Yes, and Marshall did not call.

      – Ay, I’ll call myself. – threw a nail on his left hand, and a hammer on his anvil, where the nails are leveled, with his right hand for recycling. He was shocked by the “bell” chime and startled … – But if he sends me? – Ottila examined his household courtyard, where in front of him were: a gate in front of him, a bath to the right with a courtyard guard dog staring dumbly at the owner from a hole attached to the side shed.

      – Polkan! Ottila called out. The dog closed his eyes. – Kel, – the dog jerked his ear, – Jyat, jyat! – The dog closed its eyes with its paw, – Kel Manda, Katyam James! – The dog climbed into the booth. – Here, bitch! – In Russian, Klop was upset. It was upset, but not offended. After all, women are offended, and men are upset, he and his father thought. But he was upset and took the stone from the fence of the flower bed.

      – Polkan. – booms, took the second, and rolled first – Palkan!! – boom, boom, – Polkan!!! – booms, booms, booms, – Get out the bastard!!!! – booms, booms, booms, booms, booms, etc., until the stones in the flower border have run out.

      – Aaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!! – the dog bellowed in pain and whined. Even the neighbors heard the cheekbones. Ottila sat contentedly and exhaled oxygen from her lungs. Further, the review saw him behind the fence, and on the left – the entrance to the residential part of the hut.

      – Ottila, they came to you! – shouted from the threshold of Isolde. The bug turned around. The wife stood at attention in the front doorway. From under the skirt, a cute face of Izi suddenly appeared. He was already seventeen. And she smiled sweetly with Caucasian eyes.

      – What are you doing there? – asked the overwhelmed dad – biological stepfather.

      – Well, get out from under the skirt! – She slapped her hand on the head and shoved her head into herself. Baska has disappeared.

      – Call them here. Ottila answered and, taking the nail in his left hand, began to straighten it with a hammer.

      From far away in the hut there was an eerie, dull thud. Soon, Incephalopath appeared, dragging the criminal by the scruff of the neck. He pulled it onto the porch and threw it into the center of the household yard. The criminal rolled like a ball into the center.

      – Who is it? – asked, killed by the sun Ottila.

      – Here, here, the cartridge. Oooh! Caught, apchi, in the act. Oooh. Oooh.

      – What did he do? – reluctantly asked the precinct.

      – He, he, apchi, in the dump hemp rub, apchi, understand.

      – How ter? – The bug raised his eyes to the guy and mechanically hit his thumb with a hammer. – Ah, fuck!

      – He’s lying. – The detained Idot whimpered by the name of Kolomiyytso, the son of Pankrat, the Ataman of the Local Cossacks and Wildlife Conservation.

      – You, Idot, do not buzu, the field was plowed. Repented, just hit. Klop barked.

      – Yes, I do not rub! – sobbed Idot. – “Kick from my dad will be.” – flew in his head thinking.

      – Well, what, will we call the father? Apchi, – Asked the breathless Intsephalopath.

      – Did you drag him from a neighboring area? Bedbug asked and pounded with a hammer, leveling the nail.

      “No, apchi,” sweated Arutun Karapetovich swept his head. – he is here, in the rubbish dump.

      – Well, so what are we going to do? Ah, Idot?? – The bug clenched his teeth and again drove on the same finger with a hammer. – … Get up!!! When I’m talking to you. Do not build a worm from yourself, an insect, what, do you go to your plans?

      – No. – Idot stopped crying, but was still afraid.

      – What were you doing there? Ottila asked sarcastically, pulling eyelids over his eye sockets and narrowing them, like a Chinese man had. – Jerking off? – pulled out a smile Klop. – Answer! – through an instant cried Ottila again.

      – I, I think …, shit. – Idot admitted and looked at Arutun, waiting for the order of execution. And this one, “he nodded his head,” I was by the scruff of the neck, so I shabby my pants, I didn’t have time to wipe my ass, so I hit the bash shack in my pants and got rubbed on the frogs. Now it’s burning.

      Ottila swallowed.

      – What did you bring him? He’s still shit from a kilometer from him.

      – So he, apchi, am saving up, rubbing …!? – replied Intsephalopath. – Look at the palms, apchi, they are smeared with hash..

      – … and shit. – added Idot. – I did not take paper with me and wiped my ass with my palms.

      – Which hand? Klop asked sarcastically.

      – Both. – A kid of about fifteen, shaggy in the style of punk or schmuck, examined his palms and chose a dirtier one. – that this one.

      – Come on, Harutun, smell it. – asked Ottila.

      – What? apchi. – asked the corporal.

      – Smell your hand and make a sanitary and epidemiological conclusion of the composition of the substance applied to the