Crazy Detective. Funny detective. StaVl Zosimov Premudroslovsky

driver-generalist. Well, they sent to the plans, hemp to clean for ropes. A tarpaulin for your UAZ from hemp ropes is sewn.

      – Here is how? – surprised Ottila. – So what?

      – Well, they put me on a cannabis harvesting machine.

      – And what is this? asked Klop.

      – Yes. – Confirmed Incephalopath.

      – How do you know that? – surprised Klop.

      “I am in my youth, Apchi,” Harutun began, but Idot continued:

      – … was a drug addict.

      – Shut up, puppy! – Harutun was excited. – you play, apchi, you sit down for a long time.

      – Calm down, Harutun. – Klop smiled. – continue.

      – Well, in my youth I lived and studied in the Caucasus in Sharaga, and we had a subject – agricultural machinery was called. So, we went through a cannabis harvesting machine. She, upchi, clings to Belarus or MTZ-40. Voot, apchi.

      – So, what is next? – turned to the kid.

      – Well, I’m going upstairs … – continued Idot.

      – Like this? asked Klop.

      “Yes, like combines, apchi, one after another,” explained Intsephalopath. – only we have a detachment, and, apchi, they have a ladder.

      – Clear. So, what is next?

      – Well, I’m going. – the beginning of Idot.

      – I got drunk right away. – added Klop.

      – What, apchi, hemp is the sea. – pinned Harutun.

      – No, chief, we were taken to a tractor by an UAZ with a district police officer and a nurse. A bash with a ranetka could be carried, but no more. The doctor constantly puts pressure on hold. There are no windows on the tractor, the heat, only the roof and the wind, both from the stove and the buzz walks. For four hours the shift is so breathing that smoking is not necessary. After all, you are in it yourself. Here. And across the fields along the road between the nickels, in a jeep, the Kazakhs catch the tractor and drive up, shouting: “Open the drum. Yes.”, But if you don’t open it, they will kill. So you obey. You clean the drum blades from dusting, and the dust is Galimovy hash.

      For this they throw bucks into the cab and dump. Up to five kilograms pulled weight, count, pent!? The match head for three hours covers five. This is the topic.

      – And so few, and three? – asked son Izya, who quietly eavesdropped. – to try.

      – Well, he jumped into the house, jerk. Can’t you see I’m interrogating?

      – Let him listen, it’s legal and instructive – the mother, who also warmed her ear, interrupted. – what’s next, going?

      – Well, in short, I’m traveling, the buzz is flying and it has covered me, but I didn’t rub it, I just sniffed the air. And I look, the partner is driving in front, and he will jump out of the tractor and run to the side, and the tractor is still going. I look in the mirror, and in it a UAZ policeman and a doctor approach a shift change. I’m not on the spot. And from the UAZ, the pent ran out after the runaway sidekick to catch up.

      – And why did he drive so, do you reproach? – bug Klop.

      – Smoked, moron, before the mowing. And the buzz of wind, in general, tore down the poor fellow’s tower and it seemed to him that he was mowing the flies on the plans for planned ones, in your opinion – drug couriers. And then, by type, the pentes burned. Well, he is to blame.

      – Hi hah hoh huh huh. – Klop chuckled, and Harutun hung, somewhere in the Caucasus … – and what, they caught?

      – Yes, in an hour. And the tractor flew into the canal.

      – Fun, apchi, there. – Arutun sucked in a snot.

      – Yeah, fun. – supported Idot. – Well, I went?!

      – Hehehehehe … – The bedbug slowly stopped laughing. – Go, and tomorrow at noon you will come. You’ll still rub it, and then we will catch you again, we’ll take you away and we’ll definitely plant you.

      – For what? – Idot was surprised and sobbed.

      – Harutun, get his subscription about not leaving. – The bug got up and arched his back.

      – Or maybe we’ll agree? – suggested Idot, who immediately stopped crying. – Tomorrow you will come with a pig, we’ll see. All go both out. I’m tired. The workday is over.

      – Come on, apchi, idiot. – suggested Harutun and went to the exit.

      – Idot. – followed the corporal boy.

      – … And with a pig, you bring a ram to me. Got it? – Arutun stopped and skipped Idot in front. When Idot passed the lead, Harutun kicked him in the ass and shoved him in the back, laughing out loud…

      They soon left and Ottila went to the house for dinner…

      Apulase SECOND

      Ottila opened his narrowed eyes and inexplicably examined the kitchen. There was an outcast and he terribly wanted to eat, but the table was empty.

      – What was that? he thought. – It’s covered!

      I thawed tears from my chair and I just wanted to start collecting food on the table, when he was guarded by a quiet and blissful moan coming from the bedrooms of the residential part of the hut.

      – Sarah? – flickered in his head. – But she …?!

      Sarah was the first daughter of Ottila and Isolde, but she had a congenital defect, that is, she was deaf in both ears from birth, blind in both eyes and dumb, in other words, blindly dumb and therefore did not need to be represented before. But now the time has come, especially since the moans coming from the depths of the hut belonged to her. By the way, God awarded her a beautiful figure and a pretty face.

      But he was embarrassed by another piece of news transmitted by a doctor from St. Petersburg, the day after the examination, when Sarah became ill and her father was seriously thinking about her.

      – She, sire, is pregnant, and this makes her sick. – the doctor quickly concluded.

      – And who is the father? After all, no one comes to her?! – surprised Klop. – Besides households.

      – Unknown. DNA testing can be done, but this intervention may interfere with the development of the child. When you are born, then you will see: the father is a Negro or Chinese. – answered the doctor and quickly walked away. Izzy followed him.

      – Doctor, thank you for not giving me up.

      – Firstly, thank you will not get hold of…

      – Oh, sorry, doc. – and Izya took a checkbook from his pocket and tore off the check with the number indicated earlier and handed it to the doctor.

      – But know, the doctor held out his hand to the check. – blood mixing, this is a dangerous thing. In eighty-nine cases, the fetus may appear very wrong.

      – What is it like?

      – A freak can be born.

      – Who??? – Barked on the other side of the bug and ran out to the interlocutors.

      What happened? It turns out Izya and Sarah became adults at the same time. But life is life.

      Ottila put up with it the next day, because he himself is the son of a cannibal. So what?

      …Suddenly there was a sharp bang of the door of the base office and Ottila flinched.

      – Again