Self Esteem Bible: Build Your Confidence Day by Day. Gael Lindenfield

deeply tranquil physical state, your body will rebalance itself and carry out any necessary repair work. Experiment with different ways to achieve this state until you find the one that suits you. You could use one of the techniques in this book (for instance, tips 28, 98, and 277) or you may find a particular brand of yoga or meditation works well for you. If this is the case, then stick with this method for as long as you can, because if you do you will find that it takes less and less time to reach the point of deep relaxation.

       13 Release pent-up emotions

      It may not always be possible to do this at the time your feelings were aroused, but you can do it later. As soon as possible, try to find a private space where you can laugh, cry, scream or thump a cushion. Alternatively, playing a sport or doing certain hobbies can also be a good way to channel unexpressed frustrations.

      Take care not to overdo the release. If you find yourself becoming even more angry or sad, stop immediately. Instead, find a friend or a professional counsellor with whom you can talk through the problem. You may need to let go of your feelings gradually, over a long period of time.

       14 Have a professional health check

      Unless you have had one very recently, make an appointment for a full health check right now. Your doctor, a commercial health insurance company or some fitness trainers can do this.

       15 Don’t skip your dental check-ups

      Bad teeth cause irritation in our digestive systems as well as our mouths. Their infections can also depress our immune system and sap our energy, long before we are aware of any pain. And unkempt teeth do nothing for our self-esteem.

       16 Give yourself a fitness lifestyle check once a month

      Ask yourself the following questions:

      

What proportion of nights have I had adequate sleep? (Six to eight hours per night for most people.)

      

Have I eaten healthily? (Adequate fresh fruit and vegetables each day and limited fatty, sugary and processed foods.)

      

Have I drunk enough of what is good for me and said ‘no’ enough to toxic drinks? (Two litres of pure water every day; maximum of two cups of coffee or tea per day and a maximum of three units of alcohol per day.)

      

Have I exercised enough?

       17 Watch more comedy

      Book tickets to see a funny play, film or comedy show at least once next month. If you can’t get out, how about a video or DVD? Comedy takes us out of ourselves and helps us put our little problems in better perspective. And (as if that isn’t enough) the laughter it triggers will help strengthen our immune system.

       18 Keep up-to-date with health research

      Read books and magazines about improving your health. It will help you to prevent many problems as well as getting you to the front of the queue for any new wonder cures.

       19 Go green with your own energy

      View your energy as a scarce resource to be valued and used economically. Conserve it whenever you can, so you have plenty left for your important projects. (For example, if you have to travel, consider going by train instead of tiring yourself out driving.) Assertively refuse to do things that you don’t need or wish to do.

       20 Identify your body’s stress warning signs

      Having a basically bad opinion of yourself makes you even more vulnerable to stress. Get to know and keep a short checklist list of your body’s warning signals of stress. Some of us notice our first sign of tension in our back, for others it is in the head or legs. The trick is to know where your area of weakness is, and closely monitor it before the symptom begins to cause serious problems. Write your warning signals out on a card and place them in a prominent position as a constant reminder. Physical symptoms of stress may include:

      shoulder, back or neck ache

      headaches

      indigestion

      bowel problems

      blocked sinuses

      frequent urination

      skin rashes

      stiffness in joints

      frequent pins and needles

      dizziness

      excessive PMT

       21 Know how your behaviour changes under stress

      Each of us has developed a habit of behaving in a certain way when we are under stress. You may not be able to see the change in yourself, so you may need someone else to give you feedback. Here are some examples of common habits:

      poor concentration

      insomnia

      nail-biting, scratching and picking

      inability to listen attentively

      talking too much

      inability to control giggling

      being reclusive

      rushing around

      shouting more than usual

      clumsiness

      difficulty making decisions

      poor planning leading to over-tight schedules

      reluctance to delegate

      unkempt appearance

      missing exercise workouts

      not spending time on hobbies

      empty social diary

      being over-protective

      playing it too safe

      overspending and mounting debt

      getting up or going to bed too late

      nightmares

      forgetting more than usual

      missing appointments or birthdays

       22 Know your emotional stress warning signs

      Just as each of us responds to stress in an individual way with our bodies and behaviour, our emotions also change. Some of us