Self Esteem Bible: Build Your Confidence Day by Day. Gael Lindenfield

disorders of the muscles;

      

hinder our recovery from major traumas and illnesses.

       33 Be kind to yourself when you have reason to be sad

      If you are truly sad, it rarely helps to tell yourself to ‘snap out of it’. You can only cover up sadness this way. The danger then is that you may become depressed or your bottled-up feelings may re-emerge at a highly inconvenient time.

      Try instead to set aside some private time to heal and feel your blues. Close the door, switch off your phone and have a few hours of intensive nurturing. For example, you might choose to make yourself a meal of comfort foods, put on some quiet, uplifting music, have a soak in the bath and then retire early to bed with a light absorbing novel or video. If tears emerge, cry them out. Don’t worry that once you start they will never stop. Crying is a natural by-product of sadness and it makes most people feel a good deal better. Equally, don’t be too concerned if you cannot cry. Unlike the comfort and rest, weeping is not an essential emotional healer.

       34 Use your imagination to take yourself on a mini-break

      Remember, you can ‘get away from it all’ anytime you choose. You just need to train your mind to help you do so. Practise this technique regularly, and then use it whenever you need a refreshing break.

      Lie or sit in a comfortable, well-supported position. Close your eyes and concentrate on the flow of your breath. Imagine that as it enters your body, it is a warm orange colour and that as it leaves your body, it is a pure iridescent white light. Gradually deepen and slow down the pace of your breathing until your body is feeling deeply relaxed and your mind has started to float.

      Use your imagination to take you to one of your favourite relaxation spots – this could be a garden, the seaside or somewhere you spent a peaceful holiday. Notice and enjoy all the scents, sounds, colours and textures of this special place, and imagine the serenity and beauty of this place seeping into the pores of your skin. Focus on one particular object or aspect of your scene while continuing to breathe at a gently rhythmic rate until you feel even more deeply relaxed and glowing with positive energy.

       35 Supplement your diet at times of pressure

      When the going is tough, it is only human to become more slapdash and lazy with regard to food. Until you have better control of your lifestyle, make sure you take vitamin and mineral supplements. If you cannot digest these easily or dislike taking them, ensure that your pockets are filled with nutritious snacks such as nuts and dried fruits.

       36 Replace gloomy predictions with motivational statements

      When you find you are about to say something like, ‘I’m so lazy. I’ll never be able to keep going to the gym …’, say instead, ‘I can be persistent and I won’t stop trying until I find an exercise routine that works for me.’ Should you actually say the put-down out loud, simply smile and say, ‘That sort of talk won’t help me because I know that I can be persistent and I want to be fit.’ Sooner or later you will convince yourself (not to mention the rest of the world!).

       37 Get in a sweat three times a week

      Research has shown that to maintain a good-enough level of fitness, we need to have 3 periods of about 20 minutes aerobic exercise each week. The exercise should be hard enough to bring you out in a slight sweat, but unless you are training for the Olympics it doesn’t need to be any harder.

      So don’t feel guilty about not taking a daily jog. But if you can find an activity that makes you sweat and is also fun, you could gain even more vitality and stamina by doing it every day!

       38 Don’t ignore everyday encounters with hassle

      We often collapse in a heap and are forced to rest after a major trauma. On the other hand, the stressful effects of smaller pressures are usually ignored. Try to get into the habit of finding five minutes to release your tension after each routine hassle such as exacting sales encounters, or getting the children off to school or bed.

       39 Chemical calmers can’t change your life

      Tranquillizers change the way you feel about your life – they don’t make it better. Only you can do that. So if you must take them, make sure that you are also dealing with the root causes of your anxiety as well as its symptoms.

       40 Stick to your bedtime hour

      Try to go to bed at the same hour most days of the week. Research indicates that our bodies need a regular clock and that the most restful sleep comes in the first few hours. So, if you need extra hours in the day, take them early in the morning rather than late at night.

       41 Watch what you eat at night

      Ensure your bedtime snacks are easily digestible. Keep away from complex proteins and spicy curries. Stick to simple soporific carbohydrates. But do keep an eye on the latest research as well – there are some surprises emerging. Did you know, for example, that it has been proved that lettuce induces sleep? But, then again, you might not fancy salad for a comforting midnight feast!

       42 Keep a worry-pad by your bed

      If you cannot sleep because your head is spinning with worries, put the light back on and quickly jot these down. Sounds too simple a solution but it usually works. You may find your concerns look quite different in the light of the morning. If they don’t, at least you’ll be in better shape to deal with them after a night’s sleep.

       43 Get to know your genes

      Find out your family’s disease and death history. This may sound like a dangerously depressing thing to do. But it is also self-caring and sensible. If you know which particular illnesses you are pre-disposed to develop, there is almost always some preventative step you can now take to reduce your chances of becoming ill in that way.

       44 Clean up the air around you

      You wouldn’t expose a child you loved to poisonous air, but you may be doing just that to yourself. Check your immediate environment – both at home and at work. For example, some household cleaning substances are much more dangerous than others and some ‘fresh’ air coming