And God Created the Au Pair. Pascale Smets

and the snow and there are months to go yet.

      

      From: Charlotte Bailey

      To: Nell Fenton

      

      God, how fantastic, am vv jealous. Weather miserable & grey here, not even interesting & snowy.

      

      From: Nell Fenton

      To: Charlotte Bailey

      

      Have spent the last 3 days ferrying Rob downtown to see the school’s recommended educational psychologist. Her main finding, $1800 and many man hours later, seems to be that he is a lovely boy. Glad that’s sorted. Actually am quite cheered up, she doesn’t seem to think there’s much wrong. Insofar as I can decipher the very vague recommendations she has made, I think she has told me I am too pushy with him, but all couched in such euphemisms that quite hard to tell. She is concerned about his fears which she thinks are a bit extreme so has referred us to someone else. Yippee.

      

      From: Charlotte Bailey

      To: Nell Fenton

      Re: money well spent

      

      Suppose better to spend $1800 being told your son is lovely rather than not, though I would have happily told you he was v nice for $1000. Are his fears really that extreme? I know he’s quite anxious but he seemed fine at Christmas.

      

      From: Rachel Lockwood

      To: Nell Fenton

      

      Dear Nell

      

      How are you all? One of my (many) New Year’s resolutions was to email you at least once a week, which as you can see I have already failed to do.

      

      I redecorated our bedroom (another resolution) but discovered quite quickly that something as apparently straightforward as hanging wallpaper is entirely beyond my capabilities. It looks dreadful, all wonky and the top was very messy too but I hid that by sticking on a frieze. I wasted so much wallpaper it probably wouldn’t have cost much more to get a proper decorator to do it. At least Jonathan has been full of praise and says it looks beautiful.

      

      I’ll email next week without fail.

      

      Fondest love to all

      Rachel xx

      

      From: Charlotte Bailey

      To: Nell Fenton

      Re: imminent arrival of nephew/niece

      

      Spoke to Tom & then Maude this evening. Maude sounding remarkably cheerful despite being enormous & having awful backache. Tom says M has become source of great hilarity on streets of Paris, as she does not look at all pregnant from behind but absolutely gigantic from side & front as though someone has stuffed v large beach ball up the jumper of a thin normal person. All Parisian women have weeny babies and therefore nothing so inelegant as a stretch mark. Maude’s girth regarded with incredulity & ill-concealed horror by the pouty Frenchwomen at her antenatal class. Apparently these classes complete opposite of NCT ones she did in London before she had Betsey. Whereas in UK any pain relief during childbirth is seen as huge failure, in France you’re seen as complete idiot if you don’t have whatever’s going plus un pichet de vin rouge during labour (may have made that bit up). M sends you her love & says email her as she is too fat to go out & therefore v bored.

      

      From: Nell Fenton

      To: Charlotte Bailey

      

      Poor Maude. Once your due date is past, time defies all the laws of the universe and practically comes to a standstill.

      

      Had to take a theory test on driving today to qualify to take my road test. So many years since I have taken any kind of test (other than a pregnancy test) was more nervous than for my law finals. Managed to pass though there were questions that were not in the stupid book you’re supposed to learn from. Didn’t know the answer to what a blue flashing light signifies (snowplough apparently), also a section on hand signals that I got all wrong. Since this is no longer the 1940s who the bloody hell uses hand signals when they are driving? At least the sort that signify an imminent manoeuvre.

      

      From: Charlotte Bailey

      To: Nell Fenton

      

      Bloody hell what a nightmare. Always considered one of the very few advantages of being aged was that since I took my driving test in the olden days, at least didn’t have to sit ghastly theory test. (Hand signals in Canada particularly fine idea, isn’t it always minus 27?)

      

      From: Nell Fenton

      To: Charlotte Bailey

      

      More or less, am sick of being frozen and this week I went with Rob on a school ski trip. He started skiing last week and really didn’t like it much and I can’t blame him, too many in the class and it was so bitterly cold, freezing wind blowing all day, so this week I offered to go along for moral support. Stood all day in the unspeakable cold, anyhow by lunchtime he said he liked it a bit better so I thought it was all worth it, then at the end of the day he went up on the button lift and as he got off one of the lift seats hit him on the back of the head and knocked him over. He was so upset, and you know Rob, not one to dismiss an injury lightly so don’t know how I’m ever going to persuade him to go back. Also honestly don’t know if I’ll ever get warm again.

      

      From: Nell Fenton

      To: Charlotte Bailey

      

      Michael is in the world’s worst mood. Been stamping blackly round the house for about 3 hours, smouldering silences broken occasionally by explosive indictments of all things Canadian. He took his driving test and failed on just about everything, including incorrect use of the brakes when parallel parking?? Haven’t seen him so furious in ages.

      

      From: Charlotte Bailey

      To: Nell Fenton

      

      Good grief, how dreadful for Michael, told Dan who was horrified, he will call Michael to say something blokeish and supportive. Failing driving test complete torture for a man, sure Dan would much prefer to have a public announcement that he secretly wears a bra and panties under his clothes than a suggestion that he is anything less than a brilliant driver.

      

      From: Nell Fenton

      To: Charlotte Bailey

      

      I have bought Rob a hamster for his birthday to try and build up his confidence with animals and Josie was so longing for one I got her one too. Much more expensive than you’d think. The hamsters themselves are cheap but the cages and all the equipment are not and I don’t think I need remind you that two hamsters cannot share a cage. Cat seems pretty determined to eat them, keep finding her sitting on top of the cages.

      

      From: Charlotte Bailey

      To: Nell Fenton

      Re: forgiving & forgetting

      

      I think I was probably 4 or 5 when I put your hamster in with Anna’s & as you well know I thought they were just ‘playing’. How was I to know it was a fight to the death? I think it is time for you to LET GO & MOVE ON.

      

      From: Nell Fenton

      To: Charlotte Bailey