Happy Baby, Happy Family: Learning to trust yourself and enjoy your baby. Sarah Beeson

imagine, your baby’s stomach is only as big as their tiny clenched fist, so roughly, depending on the baby’s weight, try 2–3 oz (60–90 ml) every two to three hours at first, and then 3–4 oz (90–120 ml) every three to four hours when you feel they can go a bit longer between feeds.

      The quantities and frequency of feeding change all the time, and no doubt you’ll find that your Little One’s needs do vary. If you use a timeframe of no more than four hours between feeds during the daytime in the early weeks, it may help you to avoid having to do frequent feeding at night. Sometimes, especially if a baby is jaundiced, they may be sleepy and will sleep longer than three to four hours. Once they have reached four hours since the start of the last feed, just pop their legs out of their babygro and take off their blanket to let the cool air wake them up naturally. If they are being a real sleepyhead, talk to your Little One and gently move them to wake them up to feed. (Make sure you’ve made up a bottle ready to go – they won’t want to wait once they’ve been woken up!)

      I remember when ... I was a student health visitor nearing the end of my training. We could choose another part of the UK to work in for two weeks of alternative practice and I requested South Wales. I stayed with my sister Bridget in the Gower and was fortunate enough to be assigned to a very experienced health visitor in the Mumbles. It was very different to where I had been working, as 95 per cent of mums in the community regularly attended baby clinic after the primary visit, and generally you didn’t visit them at home unless there was a serious problem because home visits provoked a certain amount of curtain-twitching from the neighbours. At one baby clinic a mum arrived with a three-month-old baby. He was a very good size and his mother said to the health visitor, ‘I’ve just started to put a teaspoon of sugar in every feed; that’s not wrong, is it?’ I was shocked and full of youthful verve, and would have told her it was completely wrong, and what did she think she was doing? But my teacher knew better; she gave a wry smile and said, ‘Well, it’s not wrong, but these new formulas have everything a baby could need, so you don’t need to trouble yourself to put the sugar in any more.’ I realised that she had the wisdom to create a win/win solution for mother and baby. Rather than scolding the mother and making her feel embarrassed, she used diplomacy to help the woman save face and ensure the baby wasn’t being given sugar with his formula. All the mothers I have met in recent years have been very careful about making up the formula, and often tell me they have to ignore the advice of their grannies who tell them to ‘put a rusk in every bottle’. I often think back to all the lovely mums I met in Wales, who were really dedicated to their babies.

      The timing of feeds affects your baby’s sleep

      This shift in when your baby wants to feed may not happen instantly, and sometimes a baby will go down to sleep at, say, 8 pm, and sleep through for a short time, but may then suddenly be awake several times a night. Parents often don’t associate this with the timing of feeds, but the two are often related. Patience and perseverance are what’s needed from you and your partner to get your baby sleeping and feeding well.

      Solutions to common bottle-feeding problems

      Taking too long to feed or not finishing their bottle

      If you find your baby is taking longer and longer to feed from the bottle and is labouring over it more and more, this may be because the teat flow is too slow. It may be time to switch to a number 2 or 3 size teat or variflow-type teat to help your Little One get their milk at the speed that is right for them.

      On average it takes a baby 15–20 minutes to drink a bottle of milk and they shouldn’t really be taking longer than 30–35 minutes, because the baby will most likely become tired and frustrated and even give up, which would mean they wouldn’t be getting all the milk they need.

      When a baby takes a long time to feed it can also cause wind, which gets them annoyed and makes the whole process a lot harder. So if your baby is taking too long, switch the teat first and, if problems persist, you might want to try changing the brand of formula you are using.

      Colic

      The movement of the teeth through your baby’s jaw and gums as the early teething pains kick in often happens at the same time as they experience colic. With all this going on, babies need massive amounts of reassurance and comforting. You will be able to see if it is colic that is making your baby cry by signs such as if they draw up their knees, arch their back or try to push themselves off your lap or out of your arms with their feet. Keeping a firm hold will keep them safe and secure. To calm them you may want to try the Up-Down Technique (see Chapter 3) to get them to stop crying – dads are usually great at this.

      Try soothing your Little One: babies love sympathy. If you calmly tell them Mummy or Daddy is here and you know how hard it is, it will help focus your mind and give them comfort to get over the colic spasm quickly. It is hard for your baby when they have colic, as they don’t under-stand what this pain is, and they don’t know it will pass soon enough.

      Colic is horrid for your baby and for you. Your Little One is experiencing the discomfort of digestion for the first time. Just picture all the rumblings in their tummy and the windy feeling as a brand-new gut has to digest all the nutrients from their milk. Their bodies are learning how to do this, and your baby’s problem is gas, not you. I know it’s horrible when they get beside themselves with colic, but your baby has no idea what is causing this pain and does not know when it will end. It comes as a bit of a shock for them after all those months of a carefree existence in the womb.

      You can give them some relief by staying calm and giving them lots of comfort; it may be you want to try some skin-to-skin contact so they can feel your warmth and hear your heartbeat.

      There are products on the market to help relieve colic, and your doctor or health visitor can write you a prescription or you can get over-the-counter remedies from the pharmacist.

      You can choose products that go into the formula to break down the curds, as it were, or remedies that you give to your baby before the feed which work by bringing all the little bubbles of wind together to help your baby to burp them up, and they may posset and vomit up a little milk as well, which is to be expected with these products.

      You can also use gripe water from the ages of six to eight weeks by giving a 2.5 ml spoon in 1 fl oz of cooled boiled water in a sterilised bottle. I usually say gripe water works best when your Little One is experiencing colic as it will help to bring up any wind if you give it to them 10–15 minutes before their formula feed, and make it more likely they’ll have an easier job finishing their bottle of milk.

      What works for your baby may not be the same as for your friends’ babies, so keep an open mind and use only one product at a time. I have known mums who been having such a hard time and are so desperate to find a remedy they’ve given all the products together, but not only would this mean you wouldn’t know which product worked for your baby, it would be unsafe as well.

      Posseting

      Posseting is common in most babies and is an old-fashioned word that we use for babies who bring up little bits of vomit after feeding or sometimes even during a feed. It is normal for babies to posset because, as they burp, often some partly digested feed comes up. Many babies will be experiencing symptoms of colic as well as posseting from birth to six months, so it is no wonder it makes many parents feel anxious. Posseting is nothing to worry about unless you think it is affecting your baby’s weight gain and well-being.

      You cannot stop your baby being sick but you can help them by feeding frequently (usually every two to three hours); raising the head end of their crib by placing a folded blanket or muslin underneath their mattress so your baby can rest in a more upright position; and giving your baby the opportunity to be on their tummy during regular supervised ‘Tummy Time’. Once they can sit up with support, being upright may help lessen their vomiting reflex. Once babies start to wean and are having solid food and spend more of their day in an upright position, most parents notice they posset less or not at all.

      Reflux

      A small number of babies have Gastro-Oesophageal Reflux Disease (GORD) when acid from the stomach leaks out and back up into the oesophagus.