Happy Baby, Happy Family: Learning to trust yourself and enjoy your baby. Sarah Beeson

       Copyright

      Thorsons

      An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF www.harpercollins.co.uk First published by Thorsons 2015 FIRST EDITION Text © Sarah Beeson MBE and Amy Beeson 2015 Illustrations © Helen Braid Cover photograph © Age Fotostock/SuperStock Cover layout design © HarperCollinsPublishers A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library Sarah Beeson MBE and Amy Beeson assert the moral right to be identified as the authors of this work All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books. Find out about HarperCollins and the environment at www.harpercollins.co.uk/green Source ISBN: 9780007520114 Ebook Edition © June 2015 ISBN: 9780007520121 Version: 2015-04-16

       To my family Amy, Takbir and Ava

      Contents

       Cover

       Title Page

Copyright

       Dedication

Preface

Discovering Your Parenting Style

1 Every Day You Breastfeed Is a Huge Achievement

2 The Secrets for Successful Bottle-feeding

       3 Sleep, Calming and Creating Your Own Routine

       4 Being a New Mum Is Life Changing

       5 Finding Your Role as a New Dad and Supporting Your Partner

       6 Five Things You Can Do to Have a Happy Baby – and Understanding Their Development

       7 Keep It Simple – Wean Your Way

       8 Teething and Caring for Your Baby’s Teeth

       9 Leaving Your Baby in Someone Else’s Care and Going Back to Work

       The Happy Baby A–Z of Practical Care

       List of Searchable Terms

       Acknowledgements

       Extract The New Arrival: the heartwarming true story of a 1970s trainee nurse

       About the Publisher

       Preface

      Sarah Beeson MBE

      In our lives there are often times when we feel overwhelmed by responsibility – even when it’s something we’ve been longing for, the reality can be a bit of a shock. When I started my nursing and health visiting career, the challenges I faced and overcame influenced the rest of my life. Becoming a parent, too, can be all-consuming and you begin to question whether you can do it. After four decades devoted to better understanding the needs of children, I can honestly say that this is the best generation of parents there has ever been.

      During wonderful years nursing at Hackney Hospital I discovered that my calling was to be a health visitor, and then there was no looking back. I went on to be one of the youngest health visitors in the country, working with families in Kent and then Staffordshire. I was honoured to receive the MBE from Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II for services to children and families. My health-prevention work was also recognised when I was given the Queen’s Nursing Institute Award. Life as a health visitor was hard work, inspiring, exhausting and very fulfilling. I thought I’d continue working in the community until my retirement and then settle down to a quiet life in the country.

      The inspiration for putting pen to paper on the advice I shared every day with parents as a health visitor was the arrival of my own grandchild. I had been working on how best to communicate the emotional needs of children in my everyday practice since the 1970s, but I hadn’t written anything except a few articles and leaflets. At the heart of all the practical advice I was sharing was the wish to ensure parents could see how they were meeting their baby’s emotional needs, and why it is so important.

      Health visiting gave me the opportunity not just to help families but to learn from them. To really make a difference you have to address the needs of the whole family, and, most importantly, to listen to their problems, concerns and worries. The first step is to build a relationship with parents and earn their trust in order to give the advice that is right for them.

      If you are in the UK and have a health visitor, they may be someone you have a close relationship with or it may be that due to the rapidly declining numbers of health visitors and the service being reduced, your health visitor might not play a big part of your experience with your new baby. I know there is nothing like a one-on-one service, but I do hope this book will help parents to feel like they have access to the advice I have built up over a lifetime of practice in the community.

      A good health visitor doesn’t think they know it all, no matter how long they’ve practised; when you walk into someone’s home or speak to them at clinic you’re just getting a glimpse of how things are. A health visitor has to give families both time and the opportunity to engage. Families shouldn’t fit the health visiting service – the service offered should be shaped around the needs of families, and at some point every parent needs support, someone to talk to, advice and solutions. Every parent needs that, including me.

      When you offer parenting advice, it’s crucial that mums and dads don’t feel judged and that you don’t have a one-size-fits-all approach. When parents are talking to you, if you are thinking about what you are going to say next then you aren’t really listening,