Happy Baby, Happy Family: Learning to trust yourself and enjoy your baby. Sarah Beeson

a feeding technique and a space that is right for you. There is no reason why you can’t use feeding time to put your feet up and enjoy some quality time together.

      Working with your partner as a team

      If your partner does want to do their share of bottle-feeds, that is great news. It’ll give you a break and help them establish a stronger connection with the baby. I have known dads who’ve held back because they are worried they’ll break the baby. OK, you do need to be gentle, and I know dropping your baby is sometimes a big fear, but as long as you are sensible all will be well. Babies are very resilient so don’t be afraid to handle your Little One – you both will be experts in no time, and they will love a bit of daddy time.

      Be gentle, but hold your baby securely. Often dads have a deft touch when it comes to comforting the baby; this may be because the hold is firmer. Parenthood is a partnership; you could take it in turns to feed and then swap over to settle – just do whatever works for you.

      If you are still producing a little breast milk it is often best if your partner gives the baby their formula milk and settles them. The smell of the breast milk may cause your baby to search for it and become confused, and this makes it harder for mums to feed and comfort their Little One. So working together when possible at feeding time will give your Little One more opportunity to adapt and get the milk they need.

      If you’ve stopped breastfeeding it may take several days to completely stop producing milk, so stopping suddenly is not the best way. Try to replace one breastfeed at a time with a bottle, and then drop another every few days so you can have switched over in about one to two weeks.

      If you feel that your breasts are hard and engorged, talk to your doctor to see if you need any medication to help.

      Trust Yourself

      Enjoy Feeding Time

      Feeding time is the perfect time for babies to bond with their parents. Give yourself a bit of time to put your feet up, put some relaxing music on, dim the lights and take some time out with your baby.

      Getting the right equipment for bottle-feeding

      Whenever you choose to start giving your baby a bottle you are going to need a few things to get bottle-feeding underway.

      Bottle-feeding Shopping List

      The right size teats (sizes 1–3)

      Bottles

      Steriliser

      Muslin

      Bottle brush

      Washing-up liquid

      Pair of Marigolds

      Washing up and sterilising safely

      As well as bottles, teats and the formula milk, you’ll need a steriliser and a bottle brush for washing that is never used for general washing up.

      1 Always wash the bottles and teats thoroughly as it is not possible to sterilise something that is not clean first.

      2 Wash in warm soapy water very thoroughly.

      3 Rinse in cold water afterwards to remove soap residue.

      Then always follow the manufacturer's instructions to sterilise.

      Choosing the right size teat for a bottle

      Your baby needs to have a teat which gives them their milk efficiently; if it is too slow it can cause wind and slow down their feeding, or if it is too fast they can cough and splutter a little bit. Each size increases the flow of the milk, so the older your baby gets the faster they’ll be able to down that milk. You’ll get a sense of how long your Little One will take to have their feed.

      Trust Yourself

      Am I Using the Right Teat?

      If your LO is taking longer than 35 minutes to finish a bottle, they need a faster-flowing teat.

      How to make up a bottle of formula

      There are several formulas on the market and the choice is yours as to which one you use. What goes into formula milk is adapted as time goes on, so if your mum tells you she always fed you on brand X, it won’t be the same formula it was then, so use whatever you want, it’s just a question of choice.

      How much formula should I use?

      The thing with formula milk is that the instructions on the packet are only a guide. Your baby will have their own requirements, so it’s important to discuss how to make up the bottles and the amount they need with your midwife or health visitor. If your baby is past the newborn stage, whether you are new to formula-feeding or just want to be sure your Little One is getting all they need, don’t hold back – talk to a health professional (it’s what they’re there for!).

      Never be tempted to put in an extra scoop of formula powder, as it over-concentrates the salts and nutrients and can lead to hypernatremia* very quickly.

      Babies can have cold formula as well if needs be. There is also ready-made formula available but this is more expensive than making it up yourself, so just do whatever is right for you at the time.

      Making Up a Bottle of Formula

      1 Use water that has been freshly drawn, boiled and cooled (although the water does still need to be hot emough to dissolve the powder).

      2 Always put the water in first and count the number of scoops you use.

      3 Add in the same number of scoops of formula as water, e.g. 3 fl oz (90 ml) of water to 3 level scoops of formula, or 4 fl oz (120 ml) of water to 4 level scoops is just right.

      4 Put the top on the bottle and shake. Cool it down rapidly as it will be too hot to give to your baby straight away.

      5 Test the temperature on the inner part of your arm to feel how warm it is before you give the bottle to your baby, and be careful it’s not too hot.

      Perfecting your bottle-feeding technique

      Always ensure that all the formula feed is at the top end the bottle with no gaps for air to get in for the perfect bottle-feeding position. Before you start a feed, check you have everything that you will need at arm’s length. Using feeding time to have a much-needed sit-down gives you more time to bond with your baby; so get comfy with a cushion for back support and a footstool if you want one. Fewer demands on you during feeding time will also give you the opportunity to tune in to how your baby feeds and whether you need to make any little adjustments. After feeding, your baby may need winding (winding techniques are in the A–Z section).

      Your baby may take the bottle with no hesitation and suck away merrily, but some babies do not open their mouths easily and can be challenging to feed. If your baby seems to be angry or upset and cries and refuses to take the teat, put the bottle aside. Settle them using the Up-Down Technique (in Chapter 3) and wait till you’re both calm to try again.

      Trust Yourself

      Taking a Bottle

      Gently tickle the corner of your LO’s mouth. This causes the baby to turn towards the teat and take it.

      How many feeds does my baby need?

      It’ll take a little bit of trial and error, and timings and quantities will change as they grow, but if you work towards getting these things in place you’ll be well ahead of the game. Having a timetable in your head to help you shape your day is helpful, but babies sometimes don’t fit the mould of a strict feeding schedule, though you’ll notice patterns emerging. Here’s what you can do to get off to a flying start with formula-feeding.

      Trust Yourself

      Has Your LO Had Enough?

      Babies feed on demand and have an inner clock that tells them when to feed and how much to have. Listen to your baby – they’ll tell you when they are hungry and when they are full.

      Frequency of feeds

      Do feed your baby on demand, but be careful