The Four Rs of Parenting. Carmen Bynoe Bovell

along the Potomac River that I usually planned.

      Have fun with your children. Don’t be afraid to let them see your silly side. Challenge them intellectually. Set high standards for them. Expose them to new and different things. Prick their interest and curiosity. Teach them about money. Let them know that death is a part of life. Teach them that “life ain’t no crystal stair.” Don’t shield your children from the unpleasant side of life. You’re lucky if you are a parent at thirteen and a friend at thirty. Expose your children to religion, but impress upon them that the choice is theirs and theirs alone. Allow your children to grow up—it will broaden your horizons. Tell your grandchildren preposterous stories—real and imagined. Remember your grandchildren love to hear about the devilish things their parents did as children. Let your children and grandchildren teach you new things; it keeps you young. Be more an example than a disciplinarian. Show your children how to love and not to be afraid to express it.

      Lawrence Rawlings

      I think parenting changes with each generation. We look to the past as a guideline, looking at what our parents did and seeing where they made mistakes and where we could improve upon what they did. Each generation should build upon all the positive aspects and influences of the previous generation, such as dedication, hard work, and perseverance. These are the things that my mother instilled in me even though they were the archaic way of doing things, but I built a foundation for myself, and I’d like to continue that foundation for the next generation. It’s a good thing when your parents have a brick wall for you to run your head into, like when they say this is the limit and you know that is a line you don’t cross. And if you cross that line there should be some kind of punishment that instills in you, “Okay, well, I want to do this, but maybe I don’t.”

      It makes you think about the consequences of your actions and how you instill that into the next generation without putting out those heavy consequences. I talk with a friend of mine about parenting all the time. We talk about positive reinforcement and giving our kids other tasks outside of school for self-betterment and also having good conversations and open dialogue with our children. We are working at building that open dialogue. For me the open dialogue came late in the game because I’ve had this as an issue with my wife, but the open dialogue with my daughter has been created. Sometimes just walking and doing simple things cause me to reflect on things like, “Do I love her enough?” “Am I getting enough positive energy?”

      Build the energy in your home for the child to feel comfortable and welcome and figure out, “Are we actually in a bubble or are they in a bubble?” Break that bubble and get to the child; speak their language so they can feel more welcome. Most importantly, build experiences with your child; that’s your job. This is more important than the material items you get. Material items should only be tools to create experiences.

      Jacqueline Rose

      Parenting is a lifelong endeavor. One’s parenting role shifts and changes over a lifetime. One needs to have understanding and wisdom about how each age and stage of their child’s development from childhood, to youth, to adulthood impacts their parenting experiences. Seeking to understand yourself and your child builds effective communication and strengthens trust in your relationship. The most important thing is to listen to your child and your own inner voice. That’s the place to start.

      Halima Thorne

      Parenting is extremely difficult. You do need your village to help you out. It’s very important to have that. You cannot do it alone, especially in 2018, 2019. Things have become more and more difficult to do on your own, financially and emotionally. I don’t know what I will do if I didn’t have my mom, my dad, and my sister throughout this whole process of having Carter, birthing Carter, and currently dealing with Carter. Not that he’s a bad child, but you know, there are sleepless nights, he gets sick, and he needs day care. You have to think about all those things, and you can never be one hundred percent prepared to be a parent, no matter what people tell you.

      Having a child is definitely rewarding. Every time I see Carter, I see myself, his dad, my sister, my mom, and a little bit of my dad. And you know the smile that he gives you when he wakes up, just the hugs and the slobbering kisses are very rewarding at his age, because he’s only six months old. But you know, just like everything in life, there are pluses and minuses. As he gets older and as I become older too, my thoughts will definitely change. But this is how I currently feel and have experienced right now with Carter being six months old.

      As Carter gets older, as he starts progressing and having his own opinions, and as I become older, my thoughts will change, and parenting will definitely become easier. But there are still going to be challenges. The only thing, I think, that will become a little bit easier is maybe sleep. Everything right now is difficult because he’s only six months old; he’s so young.

      Joseph Shields

      My thoughts about parenting are different since I’ve become a parent as opposed to how I thought about it before being married and having children. I feel a lot about the way environmental factors and social factors can influence and change a child or an individual. I would say, among the valuable lessons that I’ve learned as a dad has been that kids are kids based on who they are coming out of the womb, given the kind of DNA and RNA of how they’re shaped and their personalities. There are a lot of ways, from being God’s creation when they’re born, that we can influence their personalities, that we can shape it and guide it, but I’ve become much more respectful of the fact that, you know, my son and my daughter have their own personalities, regardless of what I thought they should be or where they should go from the get go. I think that’s a learning process in terms of parenting. And so it shifts how you want to approach nurturing and caring for a child as a result of that. And it really makes you more of a guide and an influencer and obviously a good example, as opposed to somebody that’s trying to change everything your kids are going to be. So that’s my perspective.

      Barbara VanDyke

      It’s a blessing to be a parent, and it’s a gift that you get for a lifetime. It’s a gift because parenting provides the parent with opportunities to grow and develop in areas in which they wouldn’t have ordinarily grown without being a parent. And the reason I say so is because some of the beliefs and maybe even some values I didn’t hold fast to before becoming a parent because the reality of being a parent in and of itself was a lesson—a lesson to live my life by or to guide me in my own life and to move from one stage of development as a parent or as an adult to another. I don’t think I had, for example, the patience or the degree of patience I have now before I became a parent. I am not so sure that I saw things through the lens of a child like I did after I became a parent. When I interacted or worked with children before, I might not have been as empathetic as I should have been to their needs, but once I became a parent, I learned very quickly to feel and see things through the lens of a child’s eyes and understand what they may be going through and understand that like me, like an adult, they have emotions, they sense fear, they have difficulty with changes and transitions. Children see and recognize when you don’t care about them, they see when you’re unfair, and you know those things help you do your own self-reflection if that does occur in your parenting relationship and help you to grow.

      Ten Things about Parenting

       Parenting is joyous, rewarding, and challenging and the most important responsibility anyone can ever have. Parenting is about caring. As a parent, you make many sacrifices but receive many rewards. Parenting is a life-changing experience. Parenting is a 24-7 responsibility, and it is tougher than you may think.

       There is a spiritual perspective to parenting, in that the cocreation and nurturance of another human being from infancy to adulthood, and at the same time parents themselves grow and develop in various ways, is the greatest gift given to us by the Father.

       Parenting is an all-encompassing journey…it is ever evolving. One’s parenting role shifts and changes over time. Although we tend to parent the way we were parented, parenting in today’s world may require different parental behaviors to pass on the same important values we acquired from our parents. Parenting changes with each generation, as the younger generation tries to improve upon what they view as mistakes their parents made.