The Complete Ruby Redfort Collection. Lauren Child

said Clancy.

      ‘Follow me and remember no talking, no—’

      ‘Yeah, yeah – keep it zipped,’ grumbled Clancy.

      Bill took out his newspaper and started to read the sports pages.

      Clancy and Ruby walked across the courtyard and in through the main door. A young couple was at the desk, checking in. They were taking a long time about it and Ruby was beginning to lose her nerve.

      ‘Yes? Can I help you?’ The concierge was looking at them sternly.

      ‘Uh, yes, I wanted to know about a person who may or may not have visited your establishment a few weeks ago – a lady, medium height, long black hair, pretty?’

      The man behind the desk adopted a very tired look. ‘If this is some kind of childish time-wasting prank then I am not amused.’

      ‘No, it isn’t,’ said Ruby, giving the man her Ruby Redfort look of sincerity. ‘I just really need to know if you saw this lady, she’s my aunt you see and she mentioned that she was lucky enough to visit a beautiful hotel in Everly and we want to surprise her by booking her a room… as a, a surprise! And we think it must be this one because it is of course, you know, completely divine.’

      The concierge was perking up. ‘Oh I see, well I’m sure it must have been the Fountain – when did you say she was in town?’

      ‘March 25th around 6pm,’ replied Ruby.

      ‘I was away that week – let me call Felix.’

      A skinny young man came out from the back room and the concierge explained what Ruby needed to know.

      ‘I’m not sure,’ pondered Felix. ‘She sounds like a lot of our customers. We did have one lady I do remember – I thought it was odd ’cause she had this fancy salon type hairdo but she still had a couple of rollers in. Oh yeah! And she only had nail polish on her left hand.’

      ‘That’s her!’ said Ruby.

      ‘Yeah, she was behaving really weird, kinda ducking behind the furniture and holding her menu in front of her face – weird! Extremely weird!’ he said again just for emphasis.

      ‘What – like she was spying on someone?’ asked Ruby.

      ‘Yeah, like she thought she was in some kinda secret agent movie or something. She wasn’t the only fruit cake in that day either – there was an old fashioned lady sitting in the dining room with a big hat and a veil. She was the one the other fruit loop… I mean, your aunt… was spying on. All this old gal did was write something down on a pad, tear it off and leave, didn’t even drink her iced tea and when she was gone, your aunt went over and took the pad – and there was nothing written on it! I tell you we get them all in here’

      The concierge coughed but Felix had more to say on the subject of fruit loops. ‘Well, I guess your aunt wasn’t too good at the whole spying game because this other fellow comes by as if to sit down at the table; he looks pretty mad about her taking the notepad.’

      ‘Now why would she pick up a blank piece of paper?’ said Ruby.

      ‘Who only knows what that looney tune was up to.’

      The concierge gave Felix a swift dig in the ribs and said. ‘That will be all thank you Felix.’

      Ruby and Clancy thanked the concierge, promised to be in touch and returned to the car.

      ‘Now are you going to tell me what this is all about?’ Clancy said.

      ‘Not now,’ said Ruby through gritted teeth. ‘Not when people might overhear.’ She motioned to the chauffeur with her eyes – though it was clear he wasn’t a bit interested.

      ‘Just tell me in code,’ hissed Clancy.

      ‘Look, why don’t you come over tomorrow night – you can watch my dad’s slide show, since I figure you owe me one.’

      ‘How do I owe you? You’re the one who got my dad’s chauffeur driving us all over town,’ hissed Clancy.

      ‘Yeah and if you hadn’t been such a sneak I never woulda asked you in the first place so it really is your own fault.’

      The two of them continued to whisper insults to each other all the way back to Twinford. When they reached Cedarwood Drive Ruby thanked Bill and got out of the car.

      ‘So Clance, see you tomorrow night, 6pm – I have to warn you it’s gonna be a total yawn.’

      When Ruby got in, she could hear her mother’s voice. She was talking on the phone. Out of habit Ruby tried to tune in to what her mother was saying. Her mother’s conversations were rarely interesting but Ruby was a slave to curiosity. Her mom’s side of the conversation went something like this:

       ‘The funniest thing happened to me today Barbara… uh, funny strange… not so funny haha… So I was walking through Clavel Square… no, Clavel Square is the one with the statue, you are thinking of Clara Square, that’s the one with the roses… yes, that’s right, the one where you slipped on a hamburger… I know it is terrible the way people just drop their garbage anywhere they feel like it. You are so right, it could have been worse, lucky it was just a trip to the emergency room.’

      Ruby listened as her mother broke into peals of laughter.

       ‘You’re not kidding… you’re not kidding! Oh I know, that doctor was very cute… I can’t say I would have blamed you… who wouldn’t!’

      More laughter. Barbara always made Ruby’s mom laugh like this, and it was hard to know if she would ever get to the end of this story because she and Barbara had a habit of going off the subject.

       ‘Oh yes, what was I saying? The funniest thing happened to me… yes, I was just walking across Clavel Square when this man sort of grabbed me by the arm… yes, it was a grab, no doubt about it… it did sort of hurt yes… there might be a bruise, I’m not sure Barbara.’

      Now Ruby’s ears had truly pricked up, she stopped chewing her bubblegum.

       ‘So then he starts to pull me across the square… yes by the arm… no there was no one around… you’re so right, I know it can get that way after lunch… I do too.’

      Get on with it! thought Ruby.

      ‘So then he is pulling me across the square to who-knows-where when suddenly all these Italian tourists walk by, he lets go of my arm and says, “I’m so sorry I thought you were my wife” And I say, “Well to be honest I’m surprised you’ve got a wife if that’s how you treat her!”... I know, some people… uh huh… uh huh, lucky for him his wife came along because I can just about promise you I would have made quite a fuss… well as a matter of fact he did have a wife… sure, we looked something alike and yes, I was wearing a headscarf but even so… no, she definitely had red hair and mine is unmistakeably auburn… thank you Barbara, that’s very sweet of you, yes I will absolutely give you my stylist’s number… Well you could be right, maybe he was without his glasses but you would think he ought to know what his own wife looked like… you’re right, I am having a run of bad luck you are so right – first we lose our luggage, then all our furniture is stolen, then our housekeeper goes off, then my purse gets snatched and now Brant almost loses his wife to a thug!’

      Ruby’s mother was laughing so hard she nearly fell off the chair.

       ‘Some men really lack charm – don’t they Barbara? Do you remember Walt Waverly, wasn’t he the worst! So rude…’

      Ruby gave up listening, this type of conversation could go on for hours between her mother and Barbara and it was unlikely that they would return to the point. She wandered upstairs to the kitchen, deep in thought. Grabbing a cookie, she made her way up to her room, pulled out her notebook and jotted down everything she had overheard. Her mother might be convinced it was just a