Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 1 - 12. Derek Landy

day. The Torment was pointing a gun at Pleasant and Cain.

      Chuckling, Scapegrace shuffled over. The skeleton’s skull was as blank as ever, but the girl was looking at the Torment like she couldn’t believe what he had just said. Nobody paid any attention to Scapegrace.

      “You can’t be serious,” said Cain.

      Scapegrace loved the way the Torment ignored her, and spoke only to the skeleton. “Kill the child,” he was saying. “Shoot her, if you want. Set fire to her. Strangle her. I do not care.” If Scapegrace had been able, he would have done a dance there and then.

      “I’m not going to kill Valkyrie,” Pleasant said.

      “Dead man, what is one life compared to billions? And if the Faceless Ones return, billions will die. You know this.”

      “That may be so, but I’m not killing her.”

      “Those are my terms.”

      “There must be something else,” Skulduggery said. “Something reasonable I can do.”

      “I’ll make this easy for you.”

      The Torment tossed the skeleton’s revolver back to him. The skeleton caught it and pointed it right between the Torment’s eyes. Scapegrace lost his grin. Things had suddenly taken a turn for the worse.

      “No one dies here,” Pleasant said, “except maybe you. Where is the Grotesquery?”

      “I am the Torment, dead man. Do you really think I fear death?”

      For another few seconds, the gun didn’t waver, but then Pleasant lowered his arm. Scapegrace could breathe again and the Torment nodded with satisfaction.

      “You need my help,” he said. “You have my terms. Kill the child.”

      “You can’t just—”

      “Time is running out.”

      “Listen to me, this is insane. She’s done nothing—”

      “Tick,” the Torment said. “Tock.”

      The skeleton looked at the girl and Scapegrace saw the doubt in her eyes. She pointed at the Torment. “Beat him up. Beat him up or, or something. Shoot his foot.”

      The skeleton shook his head. “Threats won’t work.”

      “Empty threats won’t work, but if you actually shoot his foot—”

      “Valkyrie, no. I’ve met people like him before. Everyone has a breaking point, but we don’t have time.” Pleasant turned back to the Torment. “How do I know you have the information I need?”

      “Because I’m telling you I do,” the Torment answered, “and you don’t have the luxury to doubt me. By now, Baron Vengeous will have retrieved Lord Vile’s armour. The time you have left is like sand clasped in a fist. It’s sifting through your fingers, dead man. Will you kill the child?”

      “He will not!” Cain said defiantly. “Tell him, Skulduggery!” Scapegrace’s heart almost burst with joy when Pleasant remained silent.

      Cain stared at the skeleton, and took one step away. “Don’t tell me you’re actually considering this.”

      “Do you have your phone?”

      “What?”

      “You need to call your parents. You have to say goodbye.”

      A moment passed and Cain turned to run but Pleasant was too fast. He grabbed her wrist and twisted, and she fell to her knees in pain.

      “Be brave,” the skeleton said.

      “Let go of me!” Cain shouted.

      Pleasant looked at the Torment. “Give us a minute.”

      “A minute,” the Torment said. “Nothing more.”

      Scapegrace watched as the skeleton pulled Cain to her feet, his hand still gripping her arm, and led her away. The words he spoke were quiet, and the girl shook her head and tried to pull away again. They got to the corner of the Roarhaven Sanctuary and finally the girl started nodding. She took out her phone.

      “This is brilliant,” Scapegrace said to the Torment.

      The Torment turned his head to him and frowned. “Who are you?”

      “I’m … sorry? It’s me, it’s Vaurien. Vaurien Scapegrace. I … built the cellar for you?”

      “Oh,” the Torment said. “You. Why are you back? I thought you were dead. It would have been nice if you were dead.”

      Although he had never known the Torment to make a joke, Scapegrace decided he was making a joke now, so he laughed.

      “This is brilliant,” he said again. “Making him kill Cain. I mean, it’s just brilliant. It’s genius. I’d never have thought of something like this.”

      “I know.”

      “Do you mind me asking, where do you get your ideas? Do they come to you in a dream or is it just, you know, instinct? I’m keeping a, like a journal, where I jot down all my ideas and my thoughts and—” The Torment looked at him again and Scapegrace shut up.

      “You irritate me,” the Torment said.

      “Sorry.”

      The Torment went back to ignoring him. “Dead man,” he said loudly. “Your minute is up.”

      Pleasant put his hands on Cain’s shoulders. He spoke to her and went to hug her. She twisted and broke away, shoved him back. For a moment she was obscured from view, but when Pleasant moved again Scapegrace could see the tears in her eyes. Pleasant took her arm and they walked back.

      “You will kill her?” the Torment asked.

      Pleasant sagged. “Yes.”

      Scapegrace looked at Cain. She was standing silently, as straight as she could, trying to be fearless despite the tears.

      “Then by all means,” the Torment said, “kill her.”

      Pleasant hesitated then took his gun from his jacket.

      “I’m sorry, Valkyrie,” Pleasant said softly.

      “Don’t talk to me,” Cain said. “Just do what you have to do.”

      “That looks like protective clothing,” the Torment commented. “Be sure to shoot into her flesh. You wouldn’t want me to think you cheated after all.”

      Cain parted her tunic and Scapegrace smiled. He wished this entire thing was being recorded so he could play it back in the future, again and again. The moment when Skulduggery Pleasant killed Valkyrie Cain.

      “Please forgive me,” Pleasant said, then aimed the gun at the girl and pulled the trigger.

      The gunshot hurt Scapegrace’s ears. Cain’s body jerked and her eyes widened. She stepped back then fell awkwardly to her knees, clutching the wound. Blood trickled from her fingers.

      Valkyrie Cain fell forward, her face hitting the ground.

      Pleasant looked down at her. “She was an innocent girl,” he whispered.

      “She had Ancient blood in her veins,” the Torment responded, “and so was a fitting payment for the information you require. The Grotesquery is hidden in castle ruins, on the hill in Bancrook. Detective? Can you hear me?” Pleasant raised his head slowly.

      “I wonder if you can get there before Vengeous,” the Torment continued. “What do you think?”

      “If you’re lying …” Pleasant began.

      “Why would I lie? I asked you to kill the child and you did. I keep my bargains.”

      Pleasant