Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 1 - 12. Derek Landy

shall I stay here?”

      “Hide under the bed, just in case Mum walks in.” The reflection did as she was told, and Valkyrie watched as it tucked a bare foot undercover. “You OK down there?”

      “I am,” came the reply. “I have also found some of your missing underwear.”

      “Good news all round then. Don’t make a sound.”

      Valkyrie padded to the bathroom, locked the door and turned on the shower. She stepped in and sighed as the hot water hit her. Her head drooped and her eyes closed, and within seconds her hair was plastered to her scalp. She could feel the dirt and the grime and the sweat being washed away, and it felt good. She ran her tongue over her teeth again, testing the new one. It still felt too big and Valkyrie was afraid of probing too hard in case she pushed it out of place.

      She washed her hair. Her muscles were loosening. She was starting to relax. She hadn’t realised how tense she had been, but she figured she could really do with a massage right about now. China would probably know who to call about that.

      Valkyrie tried to think about what she was going to say to her parents and butterflies swarmed in her belly. She’d had to say what could have potentially been a final goodbye to them too many times over the past two years, and it wasn’t getting any easier.

      Once she was finished, she stepped out of the shower and towelled herself dry. She heard footsteps pass the door.

      “Morning, sweetie,” her mother called.

      “Morning!”

      Valkyrie cleared the condensation from the mirror and looked at herself. Her face was unmarked. No cuts, no bruises. The shower had revived her and she wasn’t looking so tired any more. She was confident there was absolutely nothing about her appearance that would cause her parents to worry. They’d be able to leave without even a hint of anxiety.

      Provided, of course, that Valkyrie could say goodbye without acting like it was the last time she’d ever see them.

      She took a deep breath, pulled on her robe and went back to her room. She dressed in jeans, T-shirt and a zip-up top, then pulled on a pair of trainers. She tried a few practice smiles, and when she was sure they’d be convincing, she clumped down the stairs with a scowl on her face.

      “Someone’s grumpy,” her dad said as she entered the kitchen.

      “Why can’t I go with you?” she whined. “Why do I have to stay with Beryl?”

      “Because it’s a romantic weekend,” he told her. “It wouldn’t be very romantic with you tagging along, now would it?”

      Valkyrie collapsed into a chair. “Why do you need romance in your life? You’re already married. Romance should be saved for people like me.”

      Her dad frowned. “You’re not looking for romance, are you? You’re only fourteen. You should be thinking about other things. Like dolls.”

      “When was the last time you saw me with a doll, Dad?”

      “I know we got you one when you were a baby, but I’m pretty sure you laughed at it and beat it up.”

      “I was a cool baby.”

      Her mother walked in. “Des, where’s your passport?”

      “Do I need it?”

      “We’re getting on a plane. Yes, you need it. Where is it?”

      “Uh, where is it usually?”

      “You said you had it. Last night, I asked you, and you assured me you had it.”

      Valkyrie’s dad nodded thoughtfully. “I do remember that. However, I may have been lying.”

      “Oh, for God’s sake, Edgley …”

      Her mother only ever called him by his last name when she was getting mad with him.

      “It’s around here somewhere,” he laughed. “You just carry on with your packing and I’ll have found it by the time we have to go.”

      “We’re going in seven minutes.”

      He swallowed. “That’s no problem.”

      Valkyrie’s mother sighed and walked out. Valkyrie called after her. “Mum, what age were you when you had your first boyfriend?”

      “My first proper boyfriend?”

      “Yeah.”

      Her dad frowned. “Define ‘proper’.”

      “Thirteen,” she heard her mother say. “Des, find that passport.”

      “What do you mean by ‘proper’?” he called, but she didn’t answer. He turned to Valkyrie. “Things were different when your mother and I were kids. It was a more innocent time. We had to wait eighteen months to even hold hands. That was the law and we were happy.”

      “I think you’re making that bit up, Dad.”

      “Boys are horrible,” he said. “I should know, I was one.”

      Someone rang the doorbell. While her father looked for his passport and her mother finished the packing, Valkyrie went to open the front door.

      “Hello, Stephanie,” said Remus Crux.

      She froze. He was wearing his usual slacks and blazer, but today he had finished off his outfit with a sickly little smile.

      Her mouth went dry. She kept her voice low. “What are you doing here? You can’t be here.”

      “I have a warrant for your arrest,” said Crux sweetly. “What, you didn’t think I’d be able to work out who you were and where you lived? If your quite obvious connection to the late Gordon Edgley wasn’t enough of a giveaway, there were a dozen vampires chasing you through the streets of this lovely little town last summer. I am a detective, Miss Cain. Working things out is what I do, and this particular mystery wasn’t exactly taxing.”

      “My parents are here. You can’t do this.”

      “You have a choice. Either I arrest you now or you tell me where the skeleton is, and where he is keeping the Grand Mage.”

      “The Diablerie have Guild. Batu has Guild.”

      “From what I’ve heard over the course of my investigations, there is no Batu. Valkyrie, no one is blaming you. You understand me, don’t you? Skulduggery led you astray. It happens all the time. None of this is your fault. But now you have to do the right thing.”

      She glared at him. “You can’t come to my house and threaten me.”

      “Are you going to tell me where he is?”

      “No, I am not.”

      “In that case you are under arrest.”

      Valkyrie tried to close the door, but Crux caught it, held it open.

      “Get away from here,” she said, her rage cracking her voice. “There are rules. You can’t demonstrate a power in front of civilians. My parents are civilians. If you take me away, you will be exposing all of us.”

      He pressed his face through the gap. “You’re under arrest.”

      She glanced around when she heard her mother approach, wheeling her suitcase after her, and when Valkyrie looked back, Crux was gone.

      “Who was that?” her mother asked.

      “No one,” Valkyrie answered quickly. “Wrong house.”

      Her mother nodded, then saw a passport on the table beside her. She shouted up the stairs. “Desmond, I found your passport. Time to go.”

      Valkyrie opened the door wide, like she was making room for her mother’s suitcase. She stepped out of the house and looked around, making sure Crux couldn’t be