Funny stories / Сборник лучших смешных рассказов. Уровень 2. Сборник

pretend to be a pirate. Come here, come here, and be in time!”

      So Mrs. Johnson, pretending to be a princess, comes out of a paper house that we agree to pretend is a castle; and old man Johnson, pretending to be a pirate, is swimming in the thing we agree to pretend is the ocean. Mrs. Johnson pretends to be in love with him, but we know she is not. And Johnson pretends to be a very terrible person; and Mrs. Johnson pretends, till eleven o’clock, to believe it. And we pay money to sit for two hours and listen to them.

      But as I explained at the beginning, my friend is a mad person.

Exercises

      1. Выберите правильный вариант:

      1. We make believe about quite serious things.

      2. We make believe about quite stupid things.

      3. We make believe about quite incredible things.

      4. We make believe about quite common things.

      ОТВЕТ: We make believe about quite serious things.

      2. Where does a young man, who is in love with Angelina, live?

      1. in Bayswater

      2. in Dover

      3. in London

      4. in Notting Hill

      ОТВЕТ: in Notting Hill

      3. Who is the Prince of Wales?

      1. It is a title granted to princes lived in Wales.

      2. It is a title granted to princes born in England.

      3. It is a title granted to princes married in Wales.

      4. It is a title granted to princes born in Wales.

      ОТВЕТ: It is a title granted to princes born in Wales.

      4. How many cigars did a Customs House official find?

      1. 35 cigars

      2. 48 cigars

      3. 24 cigars

      4. 53 cigars

      ОТВЕТ: 48 cigars

      5. “Jovial” is NOT…

      1. amiable

      2. festive

      3. angry

      4. good-natured

      ОТВЕТ: angry

      6. What does it mean “to save time”?

      1. to have extra time

      2. to do useless things

      3. to have a good time

      4. to sleep

      ОТВЕТ: to have extra time

      7. Выберите правильный вариант:

      1. When I was a child, I was very surprised that everybody went to hell.

      2. When I was a child, I was very surprised that everybody went to heaven.

      3. When I was a child, I was very surprised that everybody went to London.

      4. When I was a child, I was very surprised that everybody went to Scotland.

      ОТВЕТ: When I was a child, I was very surprised that everybody went to heaven.

      8. What is Mrs. Johnson’s paper house?

      1. a hut

      2. a car

      3. a bathroom

      4. a castle

      ОТВЕТ: a castle

      9. Who must be a people of wonderful self-control?

      1. English

      2. French

      3. German

      4. Scottish

      ОТВЕТ: English

      10. Выберите нужный глагол:

      She must ____________________ for the stage.

      1. dance

      2. gain

      3. go

      4. train

      ОТВЕТ: She must train for the stage.

      11. Выберите нужные глаголы:

      Our host’s wine ____________________ always the best we ____________________ ever tasted.

      1. was, will

      2. is, have

      3. is, are

      4. has, have

      ОТВЕТ: Our host’s wine is always the best we have ever tasted.

      12. Выберите нужный предлог:

      Any society is founded ____________________ the make-believe that everybody is charming.

      1. on

      2. in

      3. at

      4. after

      ОТВЕТ: Any society is founded on the make-believe that everybody is charming.

      13. Ответьте на вопросы:

      1. How many actors are mentioned in the story?

      2. What are their names?

      3. What have you learned about make-believe?

      4. What do you like and what don’t you like in Miss Screecher?

      5. What would you do if you were Mrs. Johnson?

      6. What is the end of the story?

      7. How can you explain the title of the story?

      8. Retell the story.

      14. Заполните таблицу:

      tell ____________________ ____________________

      ____________________ said ____________________

      ____________________ ____________________ put

      break ____________________ ____________________

      ____________________ cried ____________________

      ОТВЕТ:

      tell-told-told

      say-said-said

      put-put-put

      break-broke-broken

      cry-cried-cried

      Why we hate the foreigner

      Jerome K. Jerome

      The advantage of the foreigner is following: he is born good. He does not have to try to be good, as we, the Englishmen, do. He does not have to start the New Year with the decision to be good, and succeed till the middle of January. He is just good all the year round. When they tell a foreigner to mount or descend from a tram[44] from the right side, he will never try to descend that tram from the left side.

      In Brussels[45] once I saw a lawless foreigner who was trying to enter a tram from the wrong side. The door was open: he was standing close beside it. A line of traffic was in his way, so he just

44

to mount or descend from a tram – входить или выходить из трамвая

45

Brussels – Брюссель