The Real Thing. Tom Stoppard

Michael Thomas Suzanna Hamilton Ian Oliver

      The play was subsequently produced in 1983 at the Baxter Theatre in Cape Town, South Africa, directed by Nikolas Simmonds for Pieter Toerien Productions, in association with Michael Codron, starring Tim Plewman, Gillian Garlick, Richard Haines, Fiona Ramsay, André Jacobs, Ashleigh Sendin, and Ian Roberts.

      This production was also staged at the André Huguenet Theatre on 5 August 1983.

      The Real Thing opened in New York on 5 January 1984 at the Plymouth Theatre.

      The cast was as follows:

Max Charlotte Henry Annie Billy Debbie Brodie

Kenneth Welsh Christine Baranski Jeremy Irons Glenn Close Peter Gallagher Cynthia Nixon Vyto Ruginis

      Produced by Emanuel Azenberg

      Directed by Mike Nichols

      Designed by Tony Walton

      Lighting by Tharon Musser

      A revival of The Real Thing, produced at the Donmar Warehouse, opened in London on 27 May 1999 and moved to the Albery Theatre on 13 January 2000. The Donmar Warehouse revival of The Real Thing opened in New York on 17 April 2000 at the Ethel Barrymore Theatre with the following cast:

Max Charlotte Henry Annie Billy Debbie Brodie

Nigel Lindsay Sarah Woodward Stephen Dillane Jennifer Ehle Oscar Pearce Charlotte Parry Joshua Henderson

      Produced by Anita Waxman, Elizabeth Williams, Ron Kastner, and Miramax Films

      Associate producers: ACT Productions and Randall Wreghitt

      Directed by David Leveaux

      Scenic design and costumes by Vicki Mortimer

      Lighting by Mark Henderson and David Weiner

      Sound by John Leonard

      CHARACTERS

      (in order of appearance)

      Max, 40-ish

      Charlotte, 35-ish

      Henry, 40-ish

      Annie, 30-ish

      Billy, 22-ish

      Debbie, 17

      Brodie, 25

      ACT ONE

      SCENE I

      MAX and CHARLOTTE.

      Max doesn’t have to be physically impressive, but you wouldn’t want him for an enemy. Charlotte doesn’t have to be especially attractive, but you instantly want her for a friend.

      Living-room. Architect’s drawing board, perhaps. A partly open door leads to an unseen hall and an unseen front door. One or two other doors to other rooms.

      Max is alone, sitting in a comfortable chair, with a glass of wine and an open bottle to hand. He is using a pack of playing cards to build a pyramidical, tiered viaduct on the coffee table in front of him. He is about to add a pair of playing cards (leaning against each other to hold each other up), and the pyramid is going well. Beyond the door to the hall, the front door is heard being opened with a key. The light from there changes as the unseen front door is opened.

      Max does not react to the opening of the door, which is more behind him than in front of him.

      MAX Don’t slam—

      The front door slams, not violently. The viaduct of cards collapses.

      (Superfluously, philosophically) … the door.

      Charlotte, in the hall, wearing a topcoat, looks round the door just long enough to say two words and disappears again.

      CHARLOTTE It’s me.

      Max leaves the cards where they have fallen. He takes a drink from the glass. He doesn’t look up at all. Charlotte, without the topcoat, comes back into the room carrying a small suitcase and a plastic duty-free airport bag. She puts the case down and comes up behind Max’s chair and kisses the top of his head.

      CHARLOTTE Hello.

      MAX Hello, lover.

      CHARLOTTE That’s nice. You used to call me lover.

      She drops the airport bag on his lap and returns towards the suitcase.

      MAX Oh, it’s you. I thought it was my lover. (He doesn’t look at his present. He puts the bag on the floor by his chair.) Where is it you’ve been?

      The question surprises her. She is deflected from picking up her suitcase—presumably to take it into the bedroom—and the case remains where it is.

      CHARLOTTE Well, Switzerland, of course. Weren’t you listening?

      Max finally looks at her.

      MAX You look well. Done you good.

      CHARLOTTE What, since yesterday?

      MAX Well, something has. How’s Ba’l?

      CHARLOTTE Who?

      Max affects to puzzle very briefly over her answer.

      MAX I meant Ba’l. Do you say ‘Basel’? I say Ba’l.

      CHARLOTTE Oh … yes. I say Basel.

      MAX (Lilts) ‘Let’s call the whole thing off…’

      Charlotte studies him briefly, quizzically.

      CHARLOTTE Fancy a drink?

      She notes the glass, the bottle, and his behaviour.

      (Pointedly, but affectionately) Another drink?

      He smiles at her, empties his glass and holds it up for her. She takes the glass, finds a second glass, pours wine into both glasses and gives Max his own glass.

      MAX How’s old Basel, then? Keeping fit?

      CHARLOTTE Are you a tiny bit sloshed?

      MAX Certainly.

      CHARLOTTE I didn’t go to Basel.

      Max is discreetly but definitely interested by that.

      MAX No? Where did you go, then?

      CHARLOTTE Geneva.

      Max is surprised. He cackles.

      MAX Geneva! (He drinks from his glass.) How’s old Geneva, then? Franc doing well?

      CHARLOTTE Who?

      He affects surprise.

      MAX The Swiss franc. Is it doing well?

      CHARLOTTE Are you all right?

      MAX Absolutely.

      CHARLOTTE How have you got on?

      MAX Not bad. My best was eleven pairs on the bottom row, but I ran out of cards.

      CHARLOTTE What about the thing you were working on? … What is it?

      MAX