The English Spy: An Original Work Characteristic, Satirical, And Humorous. C. M. Westmacott

rooted up, what would become of the asses? or of those

      "Who pin their easy faith on critic's sleeve,

       And, knowing nothing, ev'ry thing believe?"

      Fully satisfied that swarms of literary blow flies will pounce upon the errors with delight, and, buzzing with the ecstasy of infernal joy, endeavour to hum their readers into a belief of the profundity of their critic erudition;—I shall nevertheless, with Churchill, laughingly exclaim—"Perish my muse"

      "If e'er her labours weaken to refine

       The generous roughness of a nervous line."

      Bernard Blackmantle.

Contents Page Images

       Table of Contents

      [1]—[2]—[3]—[4]—[5]—[6]

      CONTENTS. Page

       INTRODUCTION 3

       PREFACE, IN IMITATION OF THE FIRST SATIRE OF

       PERSIUS 5

       REFLECTIONS, ADDRESSED TO THOSE WHO CAN

       THINK.

       Reflections of an Author—Weighty Reasons for writing—

       Magister Artis Ingeniique Largitor Venter—Choice of Subject

       considered—Advice of Index, the Bookseller—Of the Nature

       of Prefaces—How to commence a new Work 7

       A FEW THOUGHTS ON MYSELF 14

       A SHANDEAN SCENE, BETWEEN LADY MARY OLD—

       STYLE AND HORATIO HEARTLY 17

       SCHOOL—BOY REMINISCENCES. ON EARLY FRIEND—

       SHIP 22

       CHARACTER OF BERNARD BLACKMANTLE. BY

       HORATIO HEARTLY 25

       ETON SKETCHES OF CHARACTER 32

       THE FIVE PRINCIPAL ORDERS OF ETON—DOCTOR,

       DAME, COLLEGER, OPPIDAN, AND CAD. A

       Sketch taken opposite the Long Walk 42

       ETON DAMES; AN ODE, NEITHER AMATORY, ILL—

       NATURED, NOR PATHETIC 43

       ELECTION SATURDAY.

       A Peep at the Long Chambers—The Banquet—Reflections

       on parting—Arrival of the Provost of King's College, Cam—

       bridge, and the Pozers—The Captain's Oration—Busy Monday

      —The Oppidan's Farewell—Examination and Election of the

       Collegers who stand for King's—The aquatic Gala and Fire—

       works—Oxonian Visitors—Night—Rambles in Eton—Transfor-

       mations of Signs and Names—The Feast at the Christopher,

       with a View of the Oppidan's Museum, and Eton Court of

       Claims 58

       AN ETON ELECTION SCENE 59

       HERBERT STOCKHORE, THE MONTEM POET

       LAUREATE.

       A Sketch from the Life, as he appeared in the Montem

       Procession of May, 1823. By Bernard Blackmantle and

       Robert Transit 67

       LIFE IN ETON; A College Chaunt in praise of private

       Tutors 68

       RECOLLECTIONS OF AN OLD ETONIAN 78

       ETON MONTEM 96

       FAREWELL TO ETON 105

       MY VALE 108

       THE FRESHMAN.

       Reflections on leaving Eton University—A Whip—Sketches

       on the Road—The Joneses of Jesus—Picturesque Appearance

       of Oxford from the Distance—The Arrival—Welcome of an

       Old Etonian—Visit to Dr. Dingyman—A University Don—

       Presentation to the Big Wig—Ceremony of Matriculation 113

       CHRIST CHURCH COLLEGE.

       Architectural Reminiscences—Descriptive Remarks—Simi-

       litude between the Characters of Cardinal Wolsey and

       Napoleon 129

       THE DINNER PARTY.

       Bernard Blackmantle's Visit to Tom Echo—Oxford Phrase-

       ology—Smuggled Dinners—A College Party described—

       Topography of a Man's Room—Portrait of a Bachelor of Arts

      —Hints to Freshmen—Customs of the University 132

       COLLEGE SERVANTS.

       Descriptive Sketch of a College Scout—Biography of Mark

       Supple—Singular Invitation to a Spread 146

       TAKING POSSESSION OF YOUR ROOMS.

       Topography of a vacant College Larium—Anecdotes and

       Propensities of Predecessors—A Long Shot—Scout's List of

       Necessaries—Condolence of University Friends 151

       THE EXCURSION TO BAGLEY WOOD 157

       WESTERN ENTRANCE INTO THE METROPOLIS.

       A descriptive Sketch.

       General Views of the Author relative to Subject and Style

      —Time and Place—Perspective Glimpse of the great City—

       The Approach—Cockney Salutations—The Toll House—

       Western Entrance to Cockney Land—Hyde Park—Sunday

       Noon-Sketches of Character, Costume, and Scenery—The

       Ride and Drive—Kensington Gardens—Belles and Beaux-

       Stars and fallen Stars—Singularities of 1824-Tales of Ton-

       On Dits and Anecdotes—Sunday Evening—High Life and

       Low Life, the Contrast—Cockney Goths—Notes, Biographical,

       Amorous, and Exquisite 164

       THE OPERA.

       The Man of Fashion—Fop's Alley—Modern Roué and

       Frequenters—Characteristic Sketches in High Life—Blue

       Stocking Illuminati—Motives and Manners—Meeting with

       the Honourable Lillyman Lionise—Dinner at Long's—Visit

       to the Opera—Joined by Bob Transit—A Peep into the

       Green Room—Secrets behind the Curtain—Noble Amateurs

       and Foreign Curiosities—Notes and Anecdotes by Horatio

       Heartly 198

       THE ROYAL SALOON.

       Visit of Heartly, Lionise, and Transit—Description of the

       Place—Sketches of Character—The Gambling Parsons—Horse

       Chaunting, a true Anecdote—Bang and her Friends—Moll

       Raffle and the Marquis W.—he Play Man—The Touter—

       The Half-pay Officer—Charles Rattle, Esq.—Life of a modern

       Roue—B———the Tailor—The Subject—Jarvey and Brooks

       the Dissector—"Kill him when you want him" 205

       THE SPREAD, OR WINE PARTY AT BRAZEN-NOSE.