Sex For Dummies. Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer

Icons Used in This Book

      Important information is highlighted with little pictures, called icons, lurking in the margins. Here’s what the ones used in this book signify:

      

This icon alerts you to useful tidbits of information, including tips to enhance sexual pleasure.

      

This icon points to practical advice and my personal thoughts on today’s sexual dilemmas.

      

You’ll see this icon next to medical descriptions of your anatomy or physical conditions.

      

This icon highlights some of the things you may think you know about sex that are false or misleading.

      

This icon signals behaviors that could cause trouble, either for you or someone else, and tells you when to look before you leap to stay clear of pitfalls to your relationships.

Beyond the Book

      This book is full of helpful and essential information, but you can find even more online! Just go to www.dummies.com and search for “Sex For Dummies Cheat Sheet” to find tips on foreplay and adding more variety to your sex life, as well as six common myths about sex.

Where to Go From Here

      Whether you consider yourself a Don Juan, a Lady Chatterly, or a sexual novice, the first piece of advice I have for you is that everybody can become a better lover given the proper instruction. And because we’re all sexual beings, whether we like it or not, why not get the most out of the pleasures our bodies are capable of giving us?

      This book is organized so you can go wherever you want to find complete information. Want to know about genital warts, for example? Head to Chapter 21. If you’re interested in oral sex, go to Chapter 15 for that. You can use the table of contents to find broad categories of information or the index to look up more specific things.

      If you’re not sure where you want to go, you may want to start with Part I. It gives you all the basic info you need to understand sex and points to places where you can find more detailed information.

      Wherever you begin, relax and read on. I guarantee that, by the end of this book, you can take the dunce cap that you may be wearing off your head and perhaps replace it with a condom somewhere else!

Part 1

      Getting Ready for Sex

IN THIS PART …

      Find out all about how babies are created and the enjoyment that process brings with it.

      Gain a better understanding of the male organ.

      Take a tour of the female genitalia and discover the changes it undergoes as a woman ages.

      Social media has had a strong effect on dating, and it’s vital to learn how to date in the brave new world to avoid the growing epidemic of loneliness.

      Gone are the days when a couple waited until the wedding night to have sex, but that means the phrase “timing is everything” has become more relevant than ever.

      Develop an understanding of the important role commitment plays in a romantic relationship.

      Having sex can bring a lot of enjoyment, but it also carries risks that you need to learn how to avoid.

      Being a teenager always means going through changes, but in the 21st century those changes have themselves been altered and require GPS rather than a road map.

Chapter 1

      So You Want to Know More about Sex

      IN THIS CHAPTER

      

Understanding why people have sex

      

Choosing the right partner at the right time

      

Making babies

      

Determining whether a potential partner is sex worthy

      Sex. Once you’re under its power, you’re a captive for life. It starts when you’re young. When you’re a teenager and your hormones are surging, almost everything you do is connected to sex in one way or another. And although your sexual voltage goes down a notch or two as you get older, many of your daily activities are still influenced by sex.

       You take a shower in the morning and do your hair to increase your sexual attractiveness.

       You choose clothes that will draw the attention of other people.

       You send sexual messages with your body language, from the way you walk to the angle you hold your head.

      And it doesn’t matter whether you’re single or married, young or old, all of us are interested in how others react to the image we project. We want to be noticed. We want to know that we can still attract someone, even if we’ve been monogamously involved in a relationship for 50 years.

      In this chapter, I give you a brief course in Sex 101, so that you and I will be clear about what I mean when I talk about sex. Although sex hasn’t changed much since men and women emerged from the cave, today’s sexual environment is open to confusion, so this chapter covers the basics.

What Is Sex, Anyway?

      Is sex just the way we differentiate ourselves, male and female? Or is it the means by which we reproduce? Is it a yearning that makes us go a bit crazy until we can satisfy those urges? Or could it be the key to exchanging extreme pleasure? Maybe it’s a way of cementing a relationship. What makes sex so amazing is that it’s all of those, and more.

      We have special organs that are made to have sex; they fit together and have many nerve endings so as to make sex pleasurable. But sex is really a whole body experience, from your brain right down to your toes. And becoming a good sex partner means that you have to understand how to fit all those parts together. I explain the basics of the male parts in Chapter 2 and the female parts in Chapter 3. If you want to know how they fit together, turn to Chapter 10.

      Every generation believes