Something Old, Something New. Darcie Boleyn

Vlad decides to help me get into the downward dog while standing behind me, his fingers firmly gripping my hips, I find I’m hot all over and it startles me. I jump up and take a few steps away from him then shake myself out.

      ‘Wow! I’m beat.’ I stretch my neck and legs, trying not to meet his eyes. Cassie seems oblivious to my suffering as she elongates her limbs then curls herself into shapes that remind me of letters of the alphabet. Is she spelling out a word? Was that an F then a U then… I shake my head. The woman is incorrigible.

      ‘Okay, ladies. Good session so far. Now I’d like you to both run around the park twice.’ I stare at him blankly. ‘It’s so I can make a note of how long it takes you, Annie. Then we can measure your improvement over the next few sessions.’

      ‘Of course!’ I reply.

      ‘Following your run, we’ll cool you down before we call it quits for the day.’

       Roll on quits!

      I almost cry because he wants me to run. I’m already tired and sweaty, although it possibly has more to do with remembered lust than with exertion. Perhaps a run will ease some of the frustration – that I didn’t realise I was feeling until I came to the stupid park with my puppy-eyed friend and her super-fit and sweet personal trainer.

      There’s nothing to do other than get on with it. So I do.

      Cassie and I jog gently to the path then follow it round but soon I am running solo as she pulls away and disappears into the distance. I am pounding the ground, conscious of the pain in my chest and the burning in my legs but willing myself to keep going. Focus on your breathing. Don’t think about how long it will be until you reach the end… of the first lap. Keep going. Come on, Annie, you can do this. Am I so terribly unfit that half a lap of the park can cause me so much pain? Each step is agony as my lungs threaten to burst and my calves ache, as heavy as if my trainers were made of lead.

      Then Cassie laps me and, bizarrely, tears sting my eyes – but it spurs me on. I dig deep into my reserves and push onwards, even though I know I will pay for this later and even though it hurts so badly that my muscles are all on fire. I think of all I have been through in my lifetime, of all I have done and achieved. I’m a strong, independent woman; of course I can run around the park. Of course I can do this. But my body believes otherwise.

      I glance across the grass to Vlad and find that he is staring at me, watching me go – like a high school coach in one of those tearjerker movies. It gives me a boost because this isn’t just about me any more and I push onwards, continuously checking if he’s still watching me. And he is! He is waving at me now, swinging both arms above his head and mouthing something. He is cheering me on. He already believes in me and my ability to do this. I can do this; I can complete the lap. I am not a thirty-something woman past her prime. I am young and strong and healthy with so much ahead of me.

      Suddenly, Cassie has joined Vlad and they both wave and point. Why are they pointing? Has one of my boobs popped right out or have I split the running trousers?

      And then I can wonder no more because I am flying through the air, soaring across the path, and I land with a heavy and graceless thud, face down in a pile of dirty leaves. For a moment I lie there, frozen and winded, wondering what on earth has happened.

      I suck in a deep and noisy breath and gasp at the rolling pain in my gut that’s making me feel nauseous.

      What happened? Did I trip over a shoelace or my own foot?

      Before I can move, I am lifted to my feet by strong hands and Vlad is before me, his blue eyes full of concern as he scans my face. I feel woozy and wobbly, as if my legs could give way at any moment, but a noise breaks though the din in my ears. A loud, persistent noise that makes me want to apologise and stamp my foot all at once, as if I am twelve again. It is Cassie I can hear and I turn gingerly to the sound of her angry voice. She is shouting at a teenage boy who stands before her hanging his head. His cheeks are crimson and he seems close to tears. The mother in me experiences a wave of compassion for him. What has he done that would cause my dear friend to reprimand him so severely?

      Then I see it.

      Next to him, there is a bouncing black Labrador pup with shiny fur and big brown eyes. As Cassie continues her tirade, the boy kneels and puts a lead on the dog. Even when he rises again, he keeps his head bowed and stares at the ground. The blush in his cheeks deepens and I am certain that should a sinkhole appear at his side, he would jump in. The teenager has evidently committed the cardinal sin in this park; he let his dog off the lead. No circus tricks permitted here. Yet I realise that I have performed my own version of clown-like acrobatics and even landed on my nose, which actually feels rather sore. I do hope it’s not broken.

      ‘We were trying to get your attention,’ Vlad explains as he gently sits me on a bench and checks me over. His ministrations are tender and bring foolish tears to my eyes. He lifts the legs of my borrowed running trousers and checks my knees, tutting as he dabs at one with a tissue. ‘That boy let the dog off its lead, in spite of the park’s rules, and it ran straight at you. I thought you’d seen it but you kept running and it was too late for Cassie or me to save you.’ He reaches up and touches the bridge of my nose. ‘It’s grazed but not broken. You were lucky.’

      I watch his blond head shaking, and wipe at my stinging eyes with the back of my hand. It comes away brown and smelly and it dawns on me that I am covered in mud and rotten leaves. There I was, thinking that Vlad and Cassie were encouraging me and admiring my efforts, when in fact they were trying to warn me to watch out for the excitable puppy.

      ‘What’s that old saying?’ I ask Vlad as I sniff, keen to lessen the drama of the situation. He looks like he feels bad and it’s not his fault. ‘No pain, no gain?’

      He offers a wan smile. ‘I was very worried, Annie. I thought you would be seriously hurt.’

      ‘I’m okay.’ I shrug. ‘I guess I’ll have a few bruises but I’m better off than that young man over there.’ I nod in Cassie’s direction and Vlad laughs.

      ‘Yes, Cassie is reprimanding him severely.’ That softening occurs again as he watches her and I realise that this man is fond of my close friend. Cassie has an amazing effect on the opposite sex, kind of like a modern day Marilyn Monroe. They drool over her, they hang on her every word, they send her flowers and take her to expensive restaurants and on luxurious holidays. But they never last. I’m sure that it’s Cassie pushing them away, that she’s too fussy, always finding things wrong with them. I suspect that she’s scared of actually falling for one of them and getting hurt, of suffering the pain of loss again. ‘I bet he’ll have nightmares tonight,’ he adds.

      ‘Yes I bet he will,’ I reply. ‘Because right now he’s going through a world of pain.’

      Vlad helps me to my feet and places a warm arm around my shoulders. I barely reach his chest as I hobble along beside him. He is big and hard and strong beside me and he smells of fresh air and some spicy undertone, like a forest in winter. He’s also very nice. He has a kindness in his demeanour, and his size and appearance belie what I sense hides underneath. I could be wrong, but Vlad seems like one of the good ones. It has been a long time since I’ve had a man’s hands on me or a man’s arm around me. But I’m convinced that this man wants to put his arms around my best friend. I just hope I’m right and that he is a good one, because if Cassie allows herself to get to know him properly, perhaps he could finally be the one for her.

      ****

      An hour later, I am soaking in the tub surrounded by fragrant bubbles. The water is hot, but not too hot. My knees are bent because it stings too much to soak my grazes but the rest of my aching flesh is immersed up to my neck. The house is calm and quiet as the children are all occupied in the lounge. Janis is reading whilst keeping an eye on her siblings, Henry is watching some documentary about crazy cats and Anabelle is colouring. I sink lower in the tub and let the water lap at my ear lobes.

       Yes, I can relax.

      Until a phone starts ringing somewhere in the house. It is a muffled