Naughty Little Secrets. Mary Wilbon

‘Hey, you look just like Halle Berry’.”

      “The people you’re referring to were criminals, Sweet Cheeks, and you were pointing a loaded gun at them at the time.”

      “That was the only way I could get them to say it.”

      Laura turned to face Slick, but all she saw was Slick’s naked ass as she bent over, looking under the bed for the missing underpants.

      “Gee, what a vision. Where’s that video camera? I’d like to get a shot of this made into a tee shirt.”

      But Slick hadn’t heard her.

      Laura resisted the urge to reach over and give her a pinch. Instead she watched as Slick’s butt bobbed up and down in the air. She had seen that butt almost every day for the last ten years. She hoped she would see it for the next ten years and the ten years after that.

      Suddenly Slick stood straight up and said “Aha! Where’s Garbo?”

      “She went sulking off after you forced her to wear those little reindeer antlers. She wanted to be alone. I think she was embarrassed,” answered Laura.

      “Well, if we’ve got to wear ridiculous costumes, so does she. The three of us are in this thing together,” Slick said with authority, as she went to search for the culprit dog.

      “And you look more like Chuck Berry than Halle Berry,” Laura said softly, stifling a laugh.

      “I heard that.”

      Laura knew that Slick missed being a detective, and it was no exaggeration that she had been one of the best. She had given it up for Laura because Laura could not cope with wondering every night if Slick would make it home to her. Laura felt that the longer Slick stayed on the streets, the odds were, eventually, there would be a fatal bullet with Slick’s name on it.

      The world Slick had lived in and worked in before she met Laura was light years away from the lush opulent life Laura was used to. Slick’s world was dangerous and violent. Laura knew that Slick had the cunning and intelligence to survive in it, but Laura also knew that sometimes even the best got unlucky.

      Slick never said it out loud, but Laura sensed she was bored with her current job. They would have to discuss it soon. Laura knew that whatever happened, they would still be together. There was no problem so terrible that it would pull them apart, but Laura was not ready to see Slick go back to carrying a gun, and risking her life every day.

      Slick returned to the room shortly, wearing the stolen underpants and carrying a bottle of champagne. She was preceded by an antlered Yorkshire terrier that jingled with every step it took.

      The dog stopped in the middle of the room, shook her head, and flapped her ears in an attempt to remove the antlers. It didn’t work. The antlers didn’t budge. She stared helplessly at Laura with beseeching, brown glass button eyes, looking for some assistance in her plight.

      Laura smothered a laugh, then looked away, not wanting to snicker insensitively.

      Resigned to her fate, Garbo gave a short sigh, jumped up on the bed, turned around twice then lay still, resting her head on her front paws.

      “Even though it’s been years since my last case, I haven’t lost my touch,” Slick said. “Behold my success and alert the media! Another mystery has been solved. I can still match wits with a crafty canine intellect,” Slick said, laughing at herself. “I think we should celebrate.”

      Her mind went blank when she saw Laura standing there in her complete costume.

      After all these years, Laura was still the most beautiful woman Slick had ever seen. The absurdity of the mermaid costume didn’t diminish that at all. Her seemingly bottomless blue eyes still left Slick speechless at times.

      This was one of those times.

      Suddenly it seemed to Slick that all the air had been sucked out of the room. Then Slick felt the familiar swarm of butterflies overtake her stomach, then felt her knees get weak. She was positive that her heart would start to beat again and that she would remember how to breathe any minute now…any minute now…any minute…

      She was falling in love with Laura all over again. And falling hard, as if a trapdoor had opened up beneath her feet. It happened regularly. No one but Laura had ever made her feel this way. It had started as long as ten years ago, and Slick had felt the same rush of love for her as recently as yesterday. The original thrill came over Slick with all its desire. All the beauty of that first passion came back to her.

      Slick put down the Cristal and started walking toward Laura. Laura started walking to meet her. Laura walked a little lopsided because of her costume and unintentionally started veering off away from Slick, but Slick thought she was the sweetest thing she had ever seen. She reached out to get Laura back and held her tightly. They stood holding on to one another, enjoying the embrace, each replaying scenes of the past ten years in their head.

      “Okay,” Slick whispered in Laura’s ear, “how about a quick game of The Sailor and the Other Sailor,” her hands moving up toward Laura’s breasts. “Nips ahoy.”

      Laura kissed her cheek and said, “Silly, as much as I would love to, we’re already late for the Christmas party. It started over an hour ago at least.”

      “Being late is fashionable,” Slick urged.

      “Not when you’re the hosts,” Laura laughed. “We’ve got a house full of people downstairs who are probably eating and drinking us into poverty.”

      “I’m sure the staff is tending to them. I can hear the music and laughter from here. They don’t even know we’re not there yet.”

      “I’ll make a deal with you,” whispered Laura, putting her arms around Slick’s neck. “Let’s have a private toast now, and I promise you, those sailors will be standing here to salute you after the party.”

      “That’s a deal, and I’ll hold you to it,” said Slick, giving Laura one final squeeze.

      She hurriedly finished putting on the rest of her costume and opened the champagne.

      “Are you sure you’re going to be able to walk around in that thing all night? How will you get down the stairs?” asked Slick, bringing her a glass.

      “I’m going to ride the motorized seat down the stairs and really make an entrance. After that, if I need to, I can always lean on you.”

      “Always. Forever.”

      “Merry Christmas.”

      “Merry Christmas.”

      They clinked their glasses, sipped and kissed, then left the room arm in arm to greet their guests.

      2

      Sindee walked around the set, uncharacteristically humming a Christmas carol in her head, and making sure everything was in its proper place. She was very careful to move silently and unobtrusively. She didn’t want to disrupt the dance rehearsal that was taking place on the opposite side of the stage.

      She ceased to hum when she found a cocktail napkin out of position. She moved it two centimeters to the left until it was exactly right. She made a mental note to tell Blair, one more time, how sloppy she was in her placement of the props.

      Sindee also noticed that the set floor was littered with candy wrappers and soda cans. The idiot hadn’t even bothered to sweep the stage. Sindee made another note never to agree to have Blair as her stage manager ever again. Blair was a genius at botching every assignment. Sindee had known at the second rehearsal that Blair was going to be trouble.

      An efficient stage manager was a fundamental and essential part of every good theatrical production, and Blair couldn’t cut it. She was practically useless.

      Blair may have been a decent actress, but a stage manager had to be able to think quickly on her feet, and make critical decisions in emergencies, when things went wrong onstage.

      Blair