In this uproarious, madcap novel, Mary Wilbon introduces two irresistible heroines about to stumble into more trouble than they could ever imagine (think parties, think booze, think very stylish homicide). . . Slick People used to tell me I was a dead ringer for Halle Berry. Okay, most of them were criminals and I was pointing a gun at their heads, but a compliment's a compliment. I used to be a cop, by the way, before I took over security for my girlfriend's multi-million-dollar clam conglomerate. Say that three times fast. Now it's just me, Laura, our dog Garbo, the butler, and about forty of our closest friends, all drunk, all about to turn our hors d'oeuvres into permanent carpet stains. There's a joke in here somewhere. . .but I'll need a drink to find it. . . Laura «Let's do a costume Christmas party; it'll be a blast!» Yeah, right. YOU try wriggling a mermaid costume over actual hips. It seemed like a good idea at the time, you know, me the rich socialite clam mogul in the aquatic themed outfit. Guess it's good that I'm not a proctologist. . .So it's just another party at our house with the usual assortment of movie stars, politicians, ex-cops, ex-cons, and bartenders. Thank God for the bartenders. I have a feeling I'm going to need it since my friend Sindee says there's something really important she needs to tell me. . .some naughty little secret she says is also very dangerous. . . Like a warped version of Sex and the City meets The Thin Man, Naughty Little Secrets is a wild romp through martinis, murder, embezzlement, martinis, «Homey-sexual» cops, bad musicals, community theatre from hell, martinis, sex, seduction, betrayal, double martinis, and New Jersey. . .and possibly the most fun you can have between the covers. . . Mary Wilbon moved from upstate New York with the hopes of becoming a Broadway actress. She made it as far as New Jersey. She loved New Jersey, so she stayed and auditioned for plays in New York. She landed some off-Broadway work, but like many an aspiring actress, she realized it didn't pay the bills. She got a full-time job with the USDOL and continued to do community theater in New Jersey. This book is lovingly written for all the talented actors who didn't quite make it to Broadway. This isn't a recent photo, but damn it, she was determined to get some use out of the headshots she paid for.
Meet Cassandra Slick–a private investigator who knows that few pleasures in life can compare to a dry martini, a sexy blonde, and serving sweet justice on New Jersey's meanest streets. . . While other little girls dreamed of growing up to be princesses, Cassandra Slick wanted to be Pam Grier in Foxy Brown, busting bad-ass criminals while yelling «Take that, you jive turkey!» She got her wish, but at the request of her girlfriend Laura–the beautiful, blonde daughter of New Jersey's wealthiest clam magnate–Slick has given up cop life to be a P.I. Now her former precinct captain, Frank DeStasio, has called on Slick's help to clear a colleague, Tom Brandeal, accused of murdering a gorgeous black prostitute. Brandeal is a homophobe who does the force no favors, but Slick has her own reasons for wanting to know what really happened to her old friend Paradise, a.k.a Gloria Roxley. Scouring the back alleys and red-light districts of Newark–the compost heap of the Garden State–Slick is soon knee-deep in shady senators, crooked cops, fabulous transsexuals, sordid blackmail, and lots and lots of dead bodies–and her troubles are only just beginning. . .