The Red House Mystery and Other Novels. A. A. Milne

As far as is consistent with honour, I shall endeavour to let Mr. Baxter (_banging the table with his hand_) win.

      DELIA. What was the condition?

      DEVENISH. That I am not at liberty to tell.

      DELIA. Oh!

      DEVENISH. It is, I understand, to be a surprise for you.

      DELIA. How exciting! (_Rising and taking vase of violets which she places up_ R.) Mr. Devenish, you have been very frank (_coming to front of settee_ R. _and sitting_). May I be equally so?

      (DEVENISH _crosses to her and bows in acquiescence_.) Why do you wear your hair so long?

      DEVENISH (_pleased_). You have noticed it?

      DELIA. Well, yes, I have.

      DEVENISH. I wear it so to express my contempt for the conventions of so-called society. DELIA. I always thought that people wore it very very short if they despised the conventions of society.

      DEVENISH. I think that the mere fact that my hair annoys Mr. Baxter is sufficient justification for its length.

      DELIA. But if it annoys me too?

      DEVENISH (_heroically_). It shall go. (_Sits on settee above_ DELIA.)

      (BELINDA _enters from up_ L. _with a garden basket supposed to contain cutlets. She crosses the windows at back_.)

      DELIA (_apologetically_). I told you I wasn't a very romantic person, didn't I? (_Kindly_.) You can always grow it again if you fall in love with somebody else.

      DEVENISH. That is cruel of you, Delia. I shall never fall in love again.

      (_Enter_ BELINDA _through swing doors B.C_.)

      BELINDA. Why, it's Mr. Devenish!

      (DEVENISH _rises and kisses her hand somewhat sheepishly_.)

      How nice of you to come so early in the morning! How is Mr. Baxter!

      DEVENISH (_annoyed and crossing behind_ BELINDA _to her_ L.). I do not know, Mrs. Tremayne.

      BELINDA (_coming down to_ DELIA _and sitting in the place vacated by DEVENISH_). I got most of the things, Delia. (_To_ DEVENISH.) "The things," Mr. Devenish, is my rather stuffy way of referring to all the delightful poems that you are going to eat to-night.

      DEVENISH. I am looking forward to it immensely, Mrs. Tremayne.

      BELINDA. I do hope I've got all your and Mr. Baxter's favourite dishes.

      DEVENISH (_annoyed and, moving to_ L. _foot of table_ C.). I'm afraid Mr. Baxter and I are not likely to appreciate the same things.

      BELINDA (_coyly_). Oh, Mr. Devenish! And you were so unanimous a few days ago.

      DELIA. I think Mr. Devenish. was referring entirely to things to eat.

      BELINDA. I felt quite sad when I was buying the lamb cutlets. To think that, only a few days before, they had been frisking about with their mammas, and having poems written about them by Mr. Devenish. There! I'm giving away the whole dinner. Delia, take him away before I tell him any more.

      (DELIA _rises, goes to table and picks up water carafe which she replaces on refectory table up_ L.)

      We must keep some surprises for him.

      DELIA (_to_ DEVENISH _as she crosses back to table_ R. _and picks up the flowers_). Come along, Mr. Devenish.

      BELINDA (_wickedly_). Are those my flowers, Mr. Devenish?

      DEVENISH (_advancing to_ BELINDA _and laughing awkwardly, after a little hesitation, with a bow which might refer to either of them_). They are for the most beautiful lady in the land.

      BELINDA. Oh, how nice of you!

      (DEVENISH _crosses to door_ R. _and opens it for_ DELIA, _who follows him and exits_. DEVENISH, _standing above door, catches BELINDA'S eye and with an awkward laugh follows_ DELIA.)

      BELINDA. I suppose he means Delia--bless them! (_She kisses her hand towards the door_ R. _She then rises and crosses below the table_ C., _placing her basket on the_ L. _end of it, to the fireplace. She rings the bell. Then she moves up on the_ R. _side of the Chesterfield to the refectory table and takes off her hat. She takes up a mirror from the table and gives a few pats to her hair, and as she is doing so BETTY enters from door_ R. _and crosses the room towards_ C.)

      BELINDA (_pointing to basket on the_ C. _table_). Oh, Betty--

      (BETTY _moves to back of_ C. _table and takes up the basket. Crosses above settee and exits through door_ R. BELINDA _is moving towards the swing doors when she catches sight of_ BAXTER _entering from the garden up_ R. _She moves quickly to the_ L. _of_ C. _table, takes up a book and going to Chesterfield_ L., _lies down with her head to_ R. BAXTER _looks in through the window up_ R., _then crosses round and enters through the portico and the swing doors_. BELINDA _pretends to be very busy reading_.)

      BAXTER (_rather nervously, in front of wring doors_). Er--may I come in, Mrs. Tremayne?

      BELINDA (_dropping her book and turning round with a violent start_). Oh, Mr. Baxter, how you surprised me! (_She puts her hand to her heart and sits up and faces him_.)

      BAXTER. I must apologize for intruding upon you at this hour, Mrs. Tremayne.

      BELINDA (_holding up her hand_). Stop!

      BAXTER (_startled_). What?

      BELINDA. I cannot let you come in like that.

      BAXTER (_looking down at himself_). Like what?

      BELINDA (_dropping her eyes_). You called me Belinda once.

      BAXTER (_coming down to her_). May I explain my position, Mrs. Tremayne?

      BELINDA. Before you begin--have you been seeing my niece lately?

      BAXTER (_surprised_). No.

      BELINDA. Oh! (_Sweetly_.) Please go on.

      BAXTER. Why, is _she_ lost too?

      BELINDA. Oh no; I just---- Do sit down.

      (BAXTER _moves to the chair_ L. _of_ C. _table and sits_. BELINDA _rises when he has sat down_.)

      Let me put your hat down somewhere for you.

      BAXTER (_keeping it firmly in his hand_). It will be all right here, thank you.

      BELINDA (_returning to the Chesterfield and sitting_). I'm dying to hear what you are going to say.

      BAXTER. First as regards the use of your Christian name. I felt that, as a man of honour, I could not permit myself to use it until I had established my right over that of Mr. Devenish.

      BELINDA. All my friends call me Belinda.

      BAXTER. As between myself and Mr. Devenish the case is somewhat different. Until one of us is successful over the other in the quest upon which you have sent us, I feel that as far as possible we should hold aloof from you.

      BELINDA (_pleadingly_). Just say "Belinda" once more, in case you're a long time.

      BAXTER (_very formally_). Belinda.