Twenty-Four Shadows. Tanya J. Peterson

me. I don’t love him, and I’m not even sure that I like him anymore. Everything he does bugs the shit out of me.” She and Reese looked at each other in silence. “Don’t look at me like that, Reese. Max and I aren’t like you and Isaac.”

      Reese had progressed from shocked to sorrowful to irritated to angry. Currently in the angry phase, she didn’t even try to keep her tone neutral. “Whoa. Hold on a second. First, what do you think that Isaac and I have that you and Max don’t? Haven’t you listened to me at all over the years? Marriage is hard, Gretchen. We don’t have it perfect. Sometimes—”

      “Wait. I didn’t say you had it perfect. But you can make it work and you join together to raise Dominic. I don’t want to join Max or team up with him or talk to him or even look at him. You don’t feel that way about Isaac, do you? You love him.” It almost sounded like an accusation.

      Reese shifted in her chair and absentmindedly bounced Elise on her lap. “Yes, I love Isaac. Deeply, actually. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy or perfect or that I love everything about him. Just like you’ve vented to me, I’ve vented to you about Isaac. A lot. You know that he frustrates me sometimes. He can have a temper. He’s moody. Sometimes drastically, like I’m not even sure if I’m dealing with the Isaac I married. But he always snaps out of it, sometimes more quickly than others, but he always comes around. And yeah, sometimes his behavior is a bit bizarre and confusing, and when I call him on it he always pretends that he doesn’t know what I’m talking about.” Reese shook her head. “The man’s memory sucks, actually, but we all have our own faults. We’re human. And he and I fight because of our faults. But more often than not, we don’t fight. There are so many wonderful things about Isaac, and I love him despite the flaws and the annoyances and the frustrating things that make me want to wring his neck.” Reese smiled wistfully and looked at Gretchen, silently imploring her to understand.

      Gretchen nodded slowly. “Thank you, Reese. Thank you,” she said quietly but emphatically. “I know that this isn’t at all what you intended, but you just proved my point. I don’t feel the way about Max the way you feel about Isaac. I know I’m probably a bitch, but all I see are his flaws. There is nothing endearing about him anymore. We fight more often than we don’t, and it doesn’t even bother me. If I loved him, it would bother me, and I would feel something. But I just don’t love him, Reese, and I never will. He and Elise will be better off without me. We all deserve to be happy, myself included.” She uncrossed her legs and crossed them the other way.

      “Oh, Gretchen—”

      “I’m not asking you to approve or to feel anything, Reese. I’m telling you as my best friend. Nothing more or nothing less. I’m telling Max later today, so please don’t say anything.”

      Reese opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted by a howl. Maternal instinct kicked in, and before she even turned to look to see what had happened, she stood and walked briskly into the yard. Isaac was just scooping up a bleeding and wailing Dominic when she reached them. Dominic reached for her and lurched out of Isaac’s arms toward his mother. Either Dominic or Elise would have fallen to the ground if Max hadn’t acted swiftly and grabbed his baby.

      “Nice move, Max,” Reese smiled at him briefly, then turned to console Dominic. She stroked his hair and kissed his forehead, taking in as she did so the little face that looked like a canvas of finger paint with its smear of tears and blood and dirt. “Come on, sweetie. Daddy and I are going to take you inside and get you all fixed up, okay?” As the trio made their way into the house, Reese snapped, “What happened, Isaac? You were supposed to be playing with him. What good does it do to have you out there with him if you aren’t going to watch what he’s doing? Or did you play too rough and hurt him?”

      “Hey! Reese, it just happened.” Isaac began to talk in a rush, words a whorl of indignation and distress. “Dominic wanted to slide into home, but he tripped and rammed the bag with his face. God. I wouldn’t hurt my son. That’s disgusting. I wouldn’t harm him, Reese. He’s our little boy, and I love him. He’s only five. Why would I hurt him? Ask Max.”

      “Slow down. Take some breaths and just settle down. I’m sorry, Isaac. I didn’t mean it.” Reese placed Dominic on the bathroom counter and began to gently wash his face. Isaac grabbed a second washcloth and held it over Dominic’s nose to stop the bleeding.

      “I didn’t hurt him, Reese.”

      Reese placed a hand on Isaac’s back and looked at him. “I know you didn’t. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap, and it had nothing to do with you.” She was dying to tell him just what had caused her to snap, but she couldn’t do so with Dominic sitting here. The story would have to wait.

      “Yeah, Mommy. Daddy didn’t do it. I tripped. I think I was running too fast. I’m very fast, you know. Faster than everyone. I beat you and Daddy all the time.” The washcloths through which Dominic muttered filtered the arrogance out of his voice and rendered it endearing. Reese laughed.

      “You are very fast. Too fast for your own good sometimes, I think.” Reese dried his face. “There. How does that feel, sweetheart?”

      “Let’s see if that nose has stopped bleeding.” Isaac lowered his arm. A bright red stain decorated the washcloth, but blood no longer gushed from Dominic’s little nose. Isaac put his arm around him and kissed the top of his head. “I think you’re good to go, little man.”

      “Wanna wiggle my loose tooth?” Dominic looked hopefully at both of his parents.

      Reese ruffled his hair. “Sweetie, we just checked this morning. No loose ones yet, but they’ll come, I promise.”

      Dominic stuck his finger in his mouth and wiggled one of the top front teeth. “Ith looth. Thee?”

      “Let me take a look.” Isaac placed a finger on the tooth in question and moved it slowly back and forth. He glanced at Reese and raised his eyebrows. “Guess what, Tiger? Congratulations! You have a loose tooth. I think you have the ground to thank for that.”

      “Yes! I told you so! I’m gonna go show Max and Gretchen.” With that, he jumped down from the counter and bolted out the door on his way to the backyard.

      Reese grinned, but her expression turned solemn instantly when Dominic’s words hit her. “Isaac, oh my God. You’re not going to believe this. Gretchen—”

      “Daddy!” Dominic charged back into the room. “Come play baseball again with me and Max.” Dominic grabbed Isaac’s arm and pulled.

      “Hang on, Tiger. I’ll be right out. I’m just talking with Mommy for a sec.” Isaac gently pulled his arm free of Dominic’s grasp.

      The abrupt interruption made Reese realize that trying to talk to Isaac about Gretchen and Max right now was a bad idea. She shook her head and smiled. “No, that’s okay. Go play ball, boys. We’ll talk later.” She looked solemnly at Isaac, who nodded his understanding and went on his merry way with Dominic.

      Reese tried unsuccessfully all afternoon to isolate Isaac so she could discuss this with him. Not that he could do anything about it—she doubted that anyone could do anything about it—but this was huge and devastating and she needed to process it with somebody. More often than not, Isaac was a fantastic listener. He seemed to know just when to contribute to conversations and when to be silent so she could get things off her chest. Right now, though, she could not get Isaac off by himself. So she sat tensely beside Gretchen, her anxiety and stress over this situation increasing by the second.

      “Reese, will you just relax? Please?” Gretchen broke into another of Reese’s reveries.

      Reese uncrossed her arms and let them drop to the arms of her chair, and she willed her leg to stop bouncing. It was too much of an effort to maintain a relaxed, still position, though, so she promptly refolded her arms across her chest and let her leg resume its rhythmic bobbing. “Relax? Really, Gretchen? Just how am I supposed to do that? You dropped a huge bomb on me, and you’ll soon be dropping another one on your family. I’m hurt that my best friend is doing this, and if I’m this hurt, I can