Intimacy & Diabetes. Janis Roszler

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      Does your supervisory staff permit you to check your blood glucose level and have snacks during the day? Are they threat-ening to fire you because you have diabetes? If you feel your diabetes rights are not being respected, contact the advocacy department of the American Diabetes Association for help-ful advice. Their website is www.diabetes.org, or you can call 1-800-DIABETES.

      You May Feel Stressed at Work

      Ways to Lower Stress

      Adjust your daily tasks

      If your workload is overwhelming, try to share some of it with a co-worker. If your current position is too stressful, switch to a different one or see if the duties of your job can be altered in some way. You may feel additional pressure if you don’t work in a diabetes-friendly environment.

      If you volunteer for a worthwhile organization in addition to all that you do, step back for a while and invite others to do your tasks. If you wish to remain active, take a position that enables you to contribute, but uses less of your time. If you run yourself down and cannot care for your health, all who depend on you lose out.

      Meditate

      Meditation is another wonderful stress-reduction tool. It is normally taught by an instructor, but you can try to do it on your own. It can help you reduce your stress level, think more clearly, and even lower your blood pressure. All of us would love to come home to a loving partner who is calm and welcoming. Meditate a few minutes before your partner arrives. As few as 10–20 minutes of quiet breathing can help you shake off a lot of the stress that you have accumulated throughout the day.

      Here is a simple type of meditation that you can try right now. It is called focused awareness meditation:

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      Sit in a quiet and comfortable location.

      Locate an object, such as a candle or a statue that is in your room.

      With your eyes half open, gently stare at the object.

      As you watch the object, focus on your breathing. You can also do this lying down, in a chair, inside, outside—anywhere. It is a very soothing exercise and only requires a few minutes of your time.

      Other forms of meditation include mindfulness meditation, which focuses exclusively on breathing, and transcendental meditation, which uses a mantra, or a personal word or phrase that is repeated over and over. There are many phone apps that can lead you through relaxing, guided meditation sessions. If you are interested, search for the type of meditation that is right for you.

      Do a “flow” activity each day

      Flow activities are the hobbies and other things you do that are so en-grossing that you lose track of time. When you do, your mind and body relax. Examples include yoga, skiing, dancing, tennis, needlework, doing a crossword puzzle, playing chess, listening to music, and more.

      Listen to relaxing music

      Soothing music, especially at bedtime, can help you relax after a chal-lenging day. Invite your partner to listen with you. Intimacy doesn’t hap-pen in the bedroom alone. The time that you spend together, even if it is only in the same room doing different projects, can strengthen your loving bond.

      Sit outside

      Some people relax by sitting in front of the television. This can be a helpful break, but disturbing images and upsetting news highlights can change a soothing moment into an anxious one. We often undervalue the benefit of nature. Our world moves so rapidly. Take some time to get off of life’s treadmill. The fresh air is energizing and beautiful views can be calming.

      Enjoy a great book

      When is the last time you enjoyed an engrossing book? Purchase or download an engaging story that takes you to a different time and place.

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      If your partner is interested, choose a book together and discuss it. This is a great way to connect and learn.

      Pamper yourself

      Treat yourself to a massage, facial, or manicure. When you feel relaxed and good about your body, you will be more enthusiastic about enjoying intimacy with the one you love. The time that you spend engaging in sex-ual activity should be mutually satisfying for both you and your partner. If you don’t feel positively about yourself, it is difficult to fully enjoy the sexual experience.

      Smile

      Research shows that smiling, even when you don’t feel happy, can lift your mood. That’s because the act of smiling tells your brain to release endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine, feel-good chemicals that help re-duce stress and can prompt you to feel more positive. Even if you are having a down day, smile. It can transform your day.

      Adopt new behaviors slowly

      Taking on too much at one time can be overwhelming. To add new behaviors to your life, do them in small steps. Don’t be hard on yourself if you can’t accomplish your goals right away. Most people struggle with new tasks. If you don’t achieve a goal at first, modify it to fit your life better and try again.

      “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

      —Thomas A. Edison (Brainyquote.com)

      Seek professional help

      If your stress comes from relationship difficulties, ask your health care team to refer you to a trained therapist who can help you work them out. Don’t become discouraged if you don’t feel comfortable with the first therapist you meet. If that happens, try another.

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      Mark has had type 2 diabetes for several years. He never paid much attention to it, because he always felt fine. Recently, how-ever, Mark and his family have noticed a very definite change in his behavior and attitude toward the things that he used to enjoy. He no longer asks his wife and children about their day when he arrives home from the office. He doesn’t plan family activities for the weekends like he used to do. All he does is lie down on the couch and watch television. He doesn’t even care what’s on. He’ll watch old movies, reality shows, and even the poorly written sitcoms that he always thought were a huge waste of time. Nowadays, he feels so tired that he can’t muster up enough energy to do much else. At first, his wife worried that he was ill, but that concern quickly turned into frustration. He never listens to her, doesn’t compliment her on anything she does, and no longer wants to join her for a night out to see a movie or be with friends. Mark has depression and it is affect-ing their relationship.

      Depression’s Toll on Relationships

      You May Feel Less Interested in Sex

      Many emotional and life issues can cause your libido (sexual interest) to drop:

      Communication problems within your relationship

      A hectic schedule that limits time with your partner

      Family-related needs

      A history of negative or traumatic sexual experiences

      Poor self-image from weight gain or other changes

      Financial pressures

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      “I have type 1 and can’t stop the blood glucose roller-coaster ride that I am on. Either I take too little insulin and my level soars or I take too much and it plummets. My diabetes edu-cator suggested I start using a continuous glucose monitor, but I shied away from that because of the expense. Now, I regret that decision, because my glucose swings were so hard to manage. I missed a lot of work, so my boss fired me from my