Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (150 Year Anniversary Edition). Льюис Кэрролл

it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.

      “Ahem!” said the Mouse with an important air. “Are you all ready? This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! ‘William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria——’”

      “Ugh!” said the Lory, with a shiver.

      “I beg your pardon!” said the Mouse, frowning, but very politely. “Did you speak?”

      “Not I!” said the Lory, hastily.

      “I thought you did,” said the Mouse. “I proceed. ‘Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him; and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable——’”

      “Found what?” said the Duck.

      “Found it,” the Mouse replied rather crossly: “of course you know what ‘it’ means.”

      “I know what ‘it’ means well enough, when I find a thing,” said the Duck: “it’s generally a frog, or a worm. The question is, what did the archbishop find?”

      The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, “‘—found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was moderate. But the insolence of his Normans——’ How are you getting on now, my dear?” it continued, turning to Alice as it spoke.

      “As wet as ever,” said Alice in a melancholy tone: “it doesn’t seem to dry me at all.”

      “In that case,” said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, “I move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more energetic remedies——”

      “Speak English!” said the Eaglet. “I don't know the meaning of half those long words, and, what’s more, I don’t believe you do either!” And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: some of the other birds tittered audibly.

      “What I was going to say,” said the Dodo in an offended tone, “was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.”

      “What is a Caucus-race?” said Alice; not that she much wanted to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that somebody ought to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything.

      “Why,” said the Dodo, “the best way to explain it is to do it.” (And, as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter-day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)

      First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, (“the exact shape doesn’t matter,” it said,) and then all the party were placed along the course, here and there. There was no “One, two, three, and away!”, but they began running when they liked, and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over. However, when they had been running half an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called out “The race is over!”, and they all crowded round it, panting, and asking, “But who has won?”

      This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon its forehead (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare, in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence. At last the Dodo said, “Everybody has won, and all must have prizes.”

      “But who is to give the prizes?” quite a chorus of voices asked.

      “Why, she, of course,” said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her, calling out, in a confused way, “Prizes! Prizes!”

      Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand in her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits (luckily the salt water had not got into it), and handed them round as prizes. There was exactly one a-piece, all round.

      “But she must have a prize herself, you know,” said the Mouse.

      “Of course,” the Dodo replied very gravely. “What else have you got in your pocket?” he went on, turning to Alice.

      “Only a thimble,” said Alice sadly.

      “Hand it over here,” said the Dodo.

      Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo solemnly presented the thimble, saying “We beg your acceptance of this elegant thimble”; and, when it had finished this short speech, they all cheered.

      Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked so grave that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not think of anything to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble, looking as solemn as she could.

      The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise and confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not taste theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on the back. However, it was over at last, and they sat down again in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more.

      “You promised to tell me your history, you know,” said Alice, “and why it is you hate—C and D,” she added in a whisper, half afraid that it would be offended again.

      “Mine is a long and a sad tale!” said the Mouse, turning to Alice, and sighing.

      “It is a long tail, certainly,” said Alice, looking down with wonder at the Mouse’s tail; “but why do you call it sad?” And she kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the tale was something like this:—

      “Fury said to a

      mouse, That he

      met in the

      house,

      ‘Let us

      both go to

      law: I will

      prosecute

      you.—Come,

      I’ll take no

      denial: We

      must have a

      trial; For

      really this

      morning I’ve

      nothing

      to do.’

      Said the

      mouse to the

      cur, ‘Such

      a trial,

      dear sir,

      With

      no jury

      or judge,

      would be

      wasting

      our

      breath.’

      ‘I’ll be

      judge, I’ll

      be jury,’

      Said

      cunning

      old Fury:

      ‘I’ll

      try the

      whole

      cause,

      and

      condemn

      you

      to

      death’.”

      “You are not attending!” said the Mouse to Alice, severely. “What are you thinking of?”

      “I beg your pardon,” said Alice very humbly: “you had