The Complete Plays of J. M. Barrie - 30 Titles in One Edition. Джеймс Барри

The most blessed thing I can think of is to be sitting reverent in the kirk, and to be in the fashion at the same time.

      BABBIE (IMPULSIVELY). Nanny, you are an old dear, and you look sweet in it. (KISSES HER.)

      NANNY. Nae! Nae! Wha wouldna look sweet in that bonnet? (GOES TO GLASS AGAIN.) Yes, it sets me pretty! It does! Umpha! (TAKES IT OFF AND PUTS IT ON TABLE.) Lassie, I tell you what I’ll do. (MAGNIFICENTLY, HER FACE SHINING WITH DELIGHT AND IMPORTANCE.) I’ll let you see my new merino!

      (WITH GREAT IMPORTANCE GETS MERINO DRESS OUT OF BED.) What think you? — what do you say to this?

      BABBIE (TO PLEASE HER). Oh! How beautiful! How lovely to wake up in the morning and remember you have a dress like that!

      NANNY. Yes, I sometimes lie snoozing and thinking of it!

      (AFFECTING HUMILITY.) Ah, no! — it’s nothing — it’s common.

      (IN AGONY BECAUSE BABBIE IS FINGERING IT.) For mercy’s sake, lassie, take tent of yoursel’ — are your hands clean?

      (babbie shows her hands.)

      Ay, they are — well done — haud out your arms.

      (babbie holds out her arms and nanny puts dress in them as if it were a child.)

      There! He! He! He!

      BABBIE. The precious! You dear, there must be a joy in owning this that even religion can’t give. (AS IN A TRANSPORT OF DELIGHT.) Nanny, if you leave it here another moment I am sure I shall run off with it! (MAKES A STEP FOR DOOR.) I can’t help myself. (MOVING UP TO DOOR.) My feet are hurrying me to the door.

      NANNY (RUNNING UP TO HER). What’s that? Stop! You limmer, you. (TAKES MERINO AND HURRIEDLY RETURNS IT AND BONNET TO BED.) It was ill done of me to put such temptation before you.

      (babbie sits on stool and spins wheel. As nanny comes down to table again for cloak, she feels there is something in pocket, draws it out; it is a package.)

      What’s this? (SMELLS IT.) It’s tea! (DELIGHTED) Did you bring this to me?

      (babbie nods.)

      You good crittur! (WITH SUDDEN FEAR, CROSSING OVER TO HER.)

      But — was it honestly come by?

      BABBIE. Oh, Nanny! Of course it was.

      NANNY. Turn round three times, haud up your hand, and then say, ‘ I swear.’ (babbie does so.)

      It’s grand of you.

      (There is a knock on the door. Much excited and signing caution she puts tea on table and goes to door and sees the minister’s foot through the crevice at bottom of it — whispering: ‘It’s him! It’s the Minister! There’s his noble foot.’ She is on tiptoe and waggling fist for caution — her face aglow with triumph.)

      BABBIE (EAGERLY). Mr. Dishart! Oh! Oh! Oh! What’s to be done? Will he wipe his feet on me?

      NANNY (WAGGLING FIST EXCITEDLY). Keep still! (IN WHISPER)

      Work the loom and then he’ll think we dinna hear him.

      (babbie goes on tiptoe to the loom and works it, and with incredible quickness nanny puts the cloak into the bed. Another knock. She moves about on tiptoe, tidies herself up, letting down gown and sleeves, doing hair, putting on fresh white mutch. Another knock. While the loom is clacking, nanny with same swiftness tidies up room, flinging ungenteel articles into the bed. Goes to bookshelf, comes to table and puts four books primly round table with large Bible in centre, hanging merino conspicuously on nail — all the work of a minute. Another knock, nanny signs to babbie to stop working and then speaks in a loud, surprised, genteel voice.)

      Deary me, was that a knock at the door? (Nods knowingly and shakes fist to babbie, then goes and opens door. Enter gavin.)

      GAVIN. May I come in?

      NANNY. It’s Mr. Dishart! This IS a surprise! (BOWS HIM FORWARD.)

      GAVIN (COMING IN AND SHUTTING DOOR). Busy as usual, Mrs. Webster?

      NANNY (IN A TRANSPORT, APPEALING TO HEAVEN). Mrs. Webster he calls me, as if I was a lady with a brass knocker on her door. I like it fine. And ‘May I come in?’ he says, as if onybody would keep him out! He! He! (TAKES HIS HAT AND PUTS IT ON LOOM.)

      GAVIN. You ARE alone.! THOUGHT! HEARD talking.

      (babbie suddenly works loom.)

      NANNY. Lassie!

      (babbie mischievously works loom.)

      You brat! Lassie, come forward and make your lowliest to the Minister.

      (gavin starts at sight of her. She laughs and mischievously bows several times, to his annoyance, nanny meantime has gone for an armchair and wheels it to him.) A chair, Mr. Dishart! (PUTS HIM PROUDLY INTO IT; IN A SORT OF WHISPER) It’s the Egyptian. She has brought me back my things.

      GAVIN. I am glad she has had that honesty.

      BABBIE. Oh, thank you, sir. (BOWS PROFUSELY.)

      GAVIN (STARTING UP). Woman, if you bow to me again I shall run you out at that door.

      (BABBIE COLLAPSES ON STOOL BY WHEEL, AS IF IN TERROR.)

      NANNY (BEHIND TABLE). Have a care, lassie. (EXULTING)

      Every day this week has Mr. Dishart come here to see if you have brought back my things.

      (BABBIE LOOKS AT GAVIN, WHO WINCES.)

      BABBIE. What an interest you must have in Nanny, Mr. Dishart.

      NANNY. It makes me a proud woman. They call me the peacock nowadays.

      BABBIE. No wonder! (SENTIMENTALLY, TO NANNY) To be HIS peacock!

      (gavin glares at her.)

      Nanny, I have offended him again. What IS the right thing to say to a minister? Shall we ask him to drink a dish of tea with us?

      NANNY. We couldna presume.

      GAVIN (GENIALLY). I should like it, Mrs. Webster.

      BABBIE. There!

      NANNY. You’ll sit doun to your tea in this house! Eh, the honour — lassie, the cloth’s in that drawer — eh, the jealousy this’ll cause in Thrums! Mysy Grossurs’ll take to her bed!

      (RUSHES ACROSS TO FIRE AND BUSIES HERSELF WITH KETTLE.)

      (BABBIE GOES TO DRAWER.)

      GAVIN (GAILY — RISING). I want to help.

      NANNY. Na! na! Lord preserve’s, no!

      BABBIE (cavalierly). Yes, you help! (Coming to table with cloth; to gavin) Lift these books.

      (To nanny’s surprise he does as he is bid, then doesn’t know what to do with them, babbie bustles about getting things ready. She spreads cloth and returns to cupboard, leaving gavin unable to put books down anywhere. She returns with butter and scone, and sees him in difficulty.)

      (Wearily) Put them down! (Puts her things on table, then sees he is still in difficulty, takes them from him, and puts books back on shelf, sighing over his stupidity.) Get the tea-pot. Now the tea! (She sees that he is helpless again.) There it is, staring you in the face.

      (He brings it to her.)

      Give it to Nanny.

      (He does so. She goes and gets three plates from dresser, then stands looking at him.)

      Now get the bannocks, and butter some scones.

      (The bannocks are stacked round fire, nanny turns round and sees. She puts tea in tea-pot and packet of tea on mantelpiece.)

      NANNY. Heaven help her, she’s ordering about the Minister!

      (GAVIN LETS KNIFE FALL.)

      BABBIE.