The Complete Plays of J. M. Barrie - 30 Titles in One Edition. Джеймс Барри

several good places.

      DELIA: Any place is good enough so long as he can find a way in.

      PETER: No Delia — I beg your pardon, but Tia makes a point of my doing it gracefully — with art —

      TIA (eagerly ): The heart is a good place, a very good place.

      PETER: Hedda’s pistol — Hedda’s.

      TIA: The head(a) is a good place too —

      DELIA (tapping him on the throat)’. This is a good place.

      PETER: Here, Delia, (puts pistol to neck)

      TIA: Lower Grandpapa, here, (taps his heart)

      DELIA: Or here, (lifts pistol to his forehead)

      TIA: Or here, (points pistol at stomach)

      PETER: Hadn’t I better lie down first? it would be more graceful, Tia, than to fall afterwards — No! Very well then. I’ll do it when I say three — One — two — I say I have an idea — why shouldn’t you both come with me?

      TIA: Why not?

      DELIA: Ay, why not?

      PETER (handing pistol to Delia): Ladies first.

      TIA: No, all together — see here are more pistols (gets pistols from Table, keeps one, gives Delia one) Grandpapa, we all fire when you say three —

      (in line down C.)

      PETER: One — two — Have you found a good place Delia? Have you vine leaves in your hair, Tia? Very well — One-two — the brandy!

      DELIA: No.

      PETER: One — Two — I say, where is it we are going to?

      TIA: Where?

      DELIA: Ah where?

      PETER: Let us say to — to Hedda’s — one — two — one, two, three —

      (All fire and fall Peter in C.) Enter George L.

      GEORGE: Someone been shooting rubbish here, just fancy that.

      (sits at table C.)

      PETER (sitting up)-. Just fancy that! — it is my cue

       Well I don’t fancy them — do you?

       I think that all the Ibsen ladies

       Should find a place and go to Hades.

      GEORGE (without looking up): Just fancy that. Just think of that.

      TIA (sitting up): You, take a Hedda, you’re a toff

       She’s like her pistol, she goes off

       Of Ibsen women, boys beware

       They all have vine leaves in their hair.

      GEORGE: Just fancy that, just think of that.

      DELIA (sitting up): Wives of the future, then begorra

       I’m glad that I don’t live tomorrow.

       I’m flesh and blood — I’ll tell you, bah

       They’re nothing but automata.

      (The three rise singing)

      ALL: We’re nothing but automata.

      (They dance like wooden figures)

      PETER: I say there’s another verse in Gosse’s version.

      GEORGE: Just fancy that, just think of that.

      PETER: Let’s go to Toole’s his version says,

       For it’s a rare — rare good place

       Your taste his plays are sure to strike

       And there you’ll find the kind you like.

      (They dance and die as in waxwork)

      CURTAIN

      Jane Annie

       Table of Contents

Table of Contents

       Dramatis Personae

       Act I.

       Act II.

       Finale.

      Dramatis Personae

       Table of Contents

      A Proctor

      Sim (Bulldog)

      Greg (Bulldog)

      Tom (a Press Student)

      Jack (a Warrior)

      Caddie (a Page)

      Miss Sims (a Schoolmistress)

      Jane Annie (a Good Girl)

      Bab (a Bad Girl)

      Milly (an Average Girl)

      Rose (an Average Girl)

      Meg (an Average Girl)

      Maud (an Average Girl)

      Schoolgirls, Press Students, and Lancers.

      The Scene is obviously laid round the corner from a certain English University Town.

      ACT I.

       First Floor of a Seminary for the Little Things that grow into Women.

      ACT II.

       A Ladies’ Golf Green near the Seminary.

      TIME.

       The Present.

      One Night elapses between the Acts.

      Act I.

       Table of Contents

      SCENE. — First floor of the Ladies’ Seminary. The GIRLS are exchanging their last confidences for the night.

       Enter CADDIE with their candles.

      CHORUS OF GIRLS.

       Goodnight! Goodnight!

       The hour is late;

       Though eyes are bright,

       No longer wait!

       Though clear the head,

       Though wit may shine,

       To bed! To bed!

       It’s nearly nine!

       Dining-room clock strikes.

      MILLY. Now the last faint tint has faded.

      ALL. Goodnight! Goodnight!

      MILLY. And the west in gloom is shaded.

      ALL. Goodnight! Goodnight!

      MILLY. See the moon her vigil keeping.

      ALL. Goodnight! Goodnight!

      MILLY. Torpor o’er the earth is creeping

      ALL. Goodnight! Goodnight!

       Drawingroom clock strikes.

      ALL. Goodnight!