Название | I-SOVIET MUTANTS. Amaphupho amnandi |
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Автор произведения | СтаВл Зосимов Премудрословски |
Жанр | Юмор: прочее |
Серия | |
Издательство | Юмор: прочее |
Год выпуска | 0 |
isbn | 9785005092366 |
– Siza kutya ntoni? -Cherevich Chmoreko akakwazanga kumelana nayo.
– Nguwe ophambili, wena kwaye ucinga malunga nendlela yokondla iincam. -iphendulwe nge grin Jikelele Zasratich.
– Uyintoni umsebenzi wakho? -ngobubi, ukukrokra kunye nokufumana amafutha kwi-grub esemthethweni, eCherevich. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, nganye nganye yayineeKazul zabo, kwaye enye kuzo zonke. -Umsebenzi wam kukucinga, kunye nokujonga kwakho nokubetha ngaphandle kwelizwi, ukuze ndingaphazanyiswa. UCherepuk wajonga ngqo eCherevich kwaye wakhonkotha.
– Umsebenzi wethu ukukhusela i-ass-mug yakho!!
– Kwaye yondle … -I-Cherevich yaphakamisa i-crock kwaye yayibukeka ikhukhumele ukusuka phezulu.
UGeneral Shrovet akakhange athethe nto, waguqukela kwi-shards kwaye wayala:
– Zimisele!!!! -Oko kukuthi, yakha. Zonke iibhlukhwe zadityaniswa kwangoko kumgca omnye zilinde iqela.
– Ke, iimfazwe!! -U-Cherepuk wavavanya iikhadi zabangaphantsi kwakhe, wakhangela ngokwahlukeneyo, ngethemba lokufumana into ngokuchasene nomthetho, kodwa akwabikho nto.
– Bantwana bam!!! Hambani bootata niyokufuna!!!! Khawuleza!!! USUKA!!!!
– Kwaye ujonge ntoni, nyana? -abuza omnye waba balwayo. Makhe ndicacisele ukuba «unyana» sisibheno kumdala, kwaye «utata» – komncinci okanye ongaphantsi.
– Andingonyana wakho, Chmyr. Ndiyinto yakho jikelele!! -UZasratich wayevutha ngumsindo, ebenolwazelelelo kwaye ebeqhele ukulisebenzisa ngendlela yakudala, kwisikhundla naseofisini, kungenjalo ingqeqesho ayinanzuzo. -Uyaqonda?
– Ewe nyana!!! -emfazwe baphendula ngazwi-nye. Bafundiswe ngendlela entsha, kwaye bengaqondi ukuba yintoni ngokubanzi eyayithetha ngayo.
– I-Oboltus … – i-spat Zasratich kwaye yajonga abafundi. Kungesi sizukulwana ebesingaphambili, wacinga njalo. -Ubuye ujonge ukuba ubuza ntoni kuCherevich. -kwaze nge-grin yaphosa umbono kuMnu Chmor Iko.
– Ngaba ukulibele, ioyile ebolileyo, ukuba ndi-NdinguMfu?! Ngokungathobeli uya kuhluthwa ukutya!! Ngaba uvile yonke into?
– Ngubani umlomo wakhe owomileyo, unguMvulo eBurrow, kwaye nantsi i-schmuck eqhelekileyo!! into ngokubanzi yakhwaza yabetha ioyile. -Ngaba uselapha? waqubuda kubacuphi, ababalekela emnyameni kwaoko. UCherevich wayephuphuma ngumsindo njengeqhuma lesepha, kodwa engathintanga kwaye engathethi nto.
– Musa ukuxabana nawe. -abaqinisekisa kwakhona uCasulia. -Singaxabani. Sonke sikwi-shit efanayo. Masidlale ngento engcono? Hlala kwisangqa…
Iimbaleki zonke zabaleka zangena engceni; bakhubeke, bawe, bavuke ngokukhawuleza kwaye, baziva bediniwe, bengoyiki ukuthoba. Umyalelo-kukho iodolo.
– Kwaye siya kubaleka ixesha elingakanani? ubuze owokuqala, etyhalela lesibini.
– Uh.., uh.., uh.. bamba umphefumlo wakho. -uphendule ummelwane, wagqogqa into ethile waza waqengqeleka entloko kwizithende. Eyesithathu, eyesihlanu, neyeshumi ikhubeka kuye kwaye nabo baphulukana nomgangatho wabo wawa. Bambi babalekile.
Molweni, nyhani, linda!! -khwaza owokuqala, kodwa: owesine, owesithandathu, owesixhenxe, owesibhozo nethoba akazange abeva baza bazimela emnyameni. nazi iinkunzi zeegusha…
– Kwaye ngoobani aba – iinqama? owesihlanu ubuze, esondeza ithambo lomlenze. Ujijise idolo phantsi.
– andazi. -uphendule owesibini kwaye nangobunzima wakhupha umlenze wakhe-ithambo kwityala leshumi. Ubungqingqwa beebhlukhwe babungabonakali buqinile njengentsimbi, kwaye ke, ngempembelelo elungileyo, isikaka asinakuqhekeka, kodwa sithathe into ebukhali, njengakule meko.
– Siza kwenza ntoni? -ambuza owokuqala. -ukuqhubeka?
– Ngaba ioyile ezikhubazekileyo?! Nooo. Kuya kufuneka uye ezingqondweni kwaye uphumle. -iphakamise owesithathu kwaye baphosa ithambo elahlekileyo nzulu engca.
– Ewe! -omntu wakhwaza ebumnyameni. I shards zazilumkile.
– Ngubani owakhwaza? – wahlebeza owesibini.
– Ayindim lowo?! -mangalise owokuqala.
– Kwaye ayindim. -iphinde eyesihlanu.
– Kwaye ndisithulu kwaye ndisisidenge. -Wathi kwisahlulo seshumi sobomi bakhe wenza isandi.. – kube kanye, kwakanye, radish, abyrvalg… Ndithi, maqabane, ndiyatsho!!! Wakhwaza waxhuma njengebhasikithi.
– Uxolo. – eyokuqala ikhonkxiwe. -Hamba ujonge ngcono apho kuvela khona ukukhwaza.
– Akukho bhaza. -eyeshumi ngovuyo ukuba efumene umthetho, wabaleka, wakhawuleza waya kuye wabulela wonke umntu enjalo wabuya wabaleka.
Ngephanyazo emva kokunyamalala kubumnyama besahlulo seshumi, kwabakho indudumo neempempe, ezazisiqinisa njengeyona nto isondela sishushu malunga nomoya
Yhu! ibunzi lize ebunzini lwesihlanu ukufika kweshumi.
– Ngaba ufuna i-bazaar? -I-5 yaxhuma yema ngeenyawo kwaye yema ngeenyawo.
– Iibhuleki, ziya phezulu. Apho, phaya. – ishumi lalatha ngethambo ebumnyameni apho ibalekela khona. -apho, ngohlobo, umntu othile uyanxibisa, ekhazimla, kwaye okona kubaluleke kakhulu, ukubopha.
– Ke! Ke kunjalo. – owesibini wayegadiwe. – Izibane zikhanyisile, i-bazaar?.. Ngqo?..
– Ewe, ukuzigquma inyama, unjani?
– Ukuba awuyiqengqanga ikotoni, ngoko ke siyayifuna. Ukukhanya, ke. -aza ishumi lacofa amadolo akhe zehlisa umva ngentamo.. – radioactive.
– Sisindiswe ntoni? -uxhase umbuzo wokuqala. -Siza kumrholela kuKazuli Zeke.
– Uyakutya kwaye…
– YOHO!! -wakhwaza wonke umntu.
– Kwaye usondla sonke!! -zonke zixeliwe kwikwayara.
– Kulungile, yintoni, shards, masiye? -Ndikhethe owokuqala ndentloko ndaya ebumnyameni.
– Awu, andizukuya.. -kwaze ke abeva ngethamsanqa luloyiko kwaye… waphinda wabindeka. Ndifuna ukuthetha into, kodwa kwavakala kuphela, bekuthoba.
– Kulungile, hlala apha. -zonke zaxelwa kwikwayara kwaye babalekela ekufumaneni.
– Ahhh!!! – Isishumi sanyuswa kwaye sasebenza wonke umntu.
Kwaye ngelo xesha…
– … Ndathi, nxibelelana nam: FUNDA IBHODI IKO TOP UAU, Umcebisi oMkhulu kwiGeneralisiphilis uqobo, yiNkosi yabo bonke abangenakuthelekiswa naluphi na uGalupia!!!!! -amemeza ndaze ndawaqinisa amathambo omhlaba eCherevich. -Uyayiqonda iitshi?
– Shit, nguGalup, hayi umfundisi. Kodwa ngokubola, nangona ndingazi ukuba yintoni, uza kuphendula!! -Intloko yomkhosi yakudala yanomsindo, yema phezu kwesithsaba, yazisa iphiniwwende ngomlenze wakhe wamathambo ebusweni bentshontsho yasesikolweni. Ubaleke wemka, esenza okuphindaphindeka kathathu.
– Ungathini? Me! Me!! -Cherevich Chmor Iko utshutshisiwe kwisipin sakhe, ekhupha ibhola.
– Umva entloko … -UZasratich wayeneentloni zokuchaza isiphelo phambi kukaCasulia onyanisekileyo kwaye wawuguqula wonke umsindo wakhe ukuba ube nefuthe lomzimba. Ekuphela kwento awayefuna ukuyitsibela ayinyathele, njengoko uCasulia watyibilika umlenze jikelele wamtsala kuye. -Ndiyeke!! -I-Zaratch Zaratich yakhonkotha, -kanye naseGalupiya ndifuna ukophula lo uphondo lwehagu e-fat.
– Yibambe, uyibambe uZack, ungavumeli kude kuthi ukuba sibuyele eGalupiya.
– Ewe,