Billie Jo. Kimberley Chambers

my wonderful fucking husband.’

      Hazel, Suzie and Julie could feel trouble brewing and left the stage without argument. None of them wanted to get on the wrong side of Terry.

      ‘Right, ladies and gentlemen,’ Kevin announced, ‘I have a lady here who wants to dedicate a song to her husband.’

      Michelle stood at the front of the stage with the mike in her hand. She was drunk now, really drunk, and was swaying from side to side. She didn’t care, she felt really important, the hall was silent and she had everybody’s attention. ‘This song is going out especially for my other half. Everyone knows who he is, ’cause he is the ultimate Charlie Bigbananas.’

      At this point the hall was so quiet, you could have heard a pin drop. ‘Well, I want all you people to know, he thinks I’m stupid and I’m anything but. I know he’s having an affair and all I can say is lucky her, whoever she is. Tel, this song’s for you, babe.’ Chelle then proceeded to sing Chas and Dave’s ‘Ain’t No Pleasing You’.

      Terry and Billie sat at the table feeling absolutely mortified.

      ‘Dad, I’m so embarrassed, what are we gonna do? What will Scott and my friends think of me?’

      Terry looked at his daughter’s flushed cheeks and could have cried for her. ‘Don’t worry, Bill, it’s your mother that’s showed herself up, not you. Your friends won’t think any less of you, darling, and I’ll tell you what me and you will do. The day you turn sixteen, we’re leaving your mother for good. We’ll get a nice place of our own, just the two of us.’

      ‘Really? Oh, Dad, I’d love that. Do you really mean it?’

      ‘I’m not joking, Princess. I’m deadly serious. Between me and you, it’s something I’ve had planned for ages. I’ve never said anything to you before, the time just wasn’t right.’

      ‘Oh Dad, I can’t wait. It’ll be great me and you sharing a house together.’ Billie forgot about her embarrassment briefly. She couldn’t think of anything better than getting away from her mother. Over the years, Billie had tried so hard to build a relationship with her, she really had, but all her efforts had amounted to nothing. Her mother had no time for her and that was that. Billie had just had to learn to live with it.

      ‘Oh darling, I’m a-a leaving, that’s what I’m gonna do-oo-oo-oo.’

      Kevin snatched the mike back quickly. ‘A round of applause for Michelle, everybody.’ Nobody clapped. Trotting down the stairs that adjoined the stage, Michelle promptly stacked it and fell flat on her face.

      ‘Dad, quick, do something, she’s fell over.’ Billie could feel her little heart beating nineteen to the dozen. In fact she wished the ground would just open up and swallow her.

      ‘Move out the way,’ Terry snarled, as he barged his way across the dance floor and into the crowd that surrounded his wife. Michelle was lying on the floor, like a rhino. The crotch of her trousers had split as she fell, and because she rarely wore knickers, her Jack and Danny was hanging out for all to see. Davey Boy and Terry each took one arm and dragged her towards a table near the door.

      ‘Are you OK, son?’ Benny Bones asked Terry sympathetically.

      ‘What do you think?’ Terry replied, shooting him a look.

      ‘I’m not drunk you know,’ Chelle slurred. ‘It’s these new shoes. I slipped.’

      Propping her on the nearest chair, Terry fished around in her handbag for his car keys. Ordering Dave to stand guard over her, he gestured for Billie to follow him outside.

      ‘I’m never going out with her again, Dad,’ Billie said, sobbing.

      Terry looked at his daughter and felt so sorry for her. She was a wonderful kid and really didn’t deserve to have that thing as a mother. Still, it was his fault really. He’d married the fucking monster and provided her with his sperm in the first place.

      ‘Did you really mean it, Dad, when you said that we could move away soon?’

      Terry unlocked the Range Rover, sat Billie in the front seat and clicked her seat belt shut. Smiling, he spoke clearly. ‘Listen, Bill, you’re not a kid any more and I’ve had this planned a while. I know I can trust you and there’s some other stuff I need to tell you as well. Some of it you might not like. Let’s just concentrate on getting your mother home tonight and then tomorrow I’ll take you out for lunch. We’ll go somewhere quiet and I promise I’ll tell you everything.’

      ‘OK, Dad, but you must tell me the truth. I’m not a child any more.’

      ‘You’ll get the truth, Princess, I swear.’

      Terry had never felt more humiliated in his whole life as when he and Dave carried Chelle out from the reception. He was used to her getting pissed and stacking it. That was her usual party piece, but to get up on the stage and make a show of him over the mike. She’d gone too far this time and he would make sure that she damn well paid for it.

      To behave like that in front of Billie was unforgivable. Michelle’s days were well and truly numbered.

      Nobody made Terry Keane look a cunt and got away with it. Nobody!

       FOUR

      WAKING UP THE following morning, fully clothed on the sofa, Chelle had very little recollection of the previous night’s events. She could remember singing with her mates on the stage, but everything after that was a total blank. Hearing noises in the kitchen, Chelle wandered out there.

      ‘All right, Bill? Did you enjoy yourself last night? What time did we get home?’

      ‘Are you having a laugh, Mother?’ Billie asked sarcastically. ‘I was enjoying myself until you decided to make a complete show of me and Dad and then we had to leave early.’

      ‘What do you mean? I can’t remember doing anything wrong. What did I do?’

      Michelle didn’t really want to know the answer to her question, but knew she had to find out. She hated not remembering and would much rather hear about it from Billie than from Terry.

      Billie stood with her hands on her hips and looked at her mother in disgust.

      ‘I’ll tell you what you did, shall I, Mum? You stood at the front of the stage with the mike in your hand, slagging off Dad, accusing him of having an affair. Then you fell flat on your face and had to be carried out of the reception and I’ll tell you something else, Mum, if you can’t remember any of that, you have got a severe problem and you need to go and have treatment.’

      Chelle felt the tears forming in her eyes, because she knew it was the truth. Her drinking was well and truly out of hand, but for one reason or another she would never admit it. She would rather be dead than be unable to drink. Opening the fridge, Chelle poured herself a glass of wine. The thought of facing Terry petrified her, as she knew by her daughter’s reaction that she must have seriously overstepped the mark this time.

      ‘Surely you’re not drinking again?’ Billie said, looking at her mother in disgust.

      Ignoring the question, Chelle knocked the drink back in one.

      ‘Where is your dad, Bill?’

      ‘He’s still in bed and I’d steer well clear of him if I were you. Oh, and by the way, I forgot to tell you something. Did you know that your trousers split as you fell and everyone at the reception saw your fanny hanging out?’

      Chelle was mortified and could stand no more. She had to get out of the house before Terry got up. ‘I’m popping out for a while, Bill,’ she said, grabbing her car keys. She needed to see Hazel and get an exact account of the previous night’s events. She hadn’t even had a wash and was still wearing the outfit she’d had on at the wedding but she didn’t care, she was just desperate to get out of the house. Noticing the crutch of her trousers was split,